Among Stars; Chapter 3, Beloved Captain

Among Stars

Chapter 3. Beloved Captain

Two weeks without a single minute to herself was tearing at her, making her more rigid and putting the command mask more firmly in place by the hour.

She would never cease to wonder about the hostility of this quadrant.

Captain Kathryn Janeway rubbed her aching neck and inhaled audibly before exiting her ready room and entering the bridge to face another red alert.

“Report”, she barked and glanced at the big view screen in front of the helm. Three alien ships had decloaked out of nowhere for the seventh time during twelve days and still their technology was a mystery and far too advanced for Voyager to trace them. They did not leave the normal warp signatures that most deep space vessels did. They came, attacked and went on their way without so much as a hail.

Janeway sighed impatiently.

“Mr Kim, I guess you have tried hailing our old friends?” she asked acidly.

“Yes, Captain. No response.”

“They are firing up their weapons”, Tuvok cautioned.

“Shields up. Target their weapon’s array and propulsion system. Where ever you might think it is located, Mr Tuvok. Fire at will.”

They had tried all strategies they could come up with, diplomacy the first one to fail. They had fought, run, hid and fought again. The damage to Voyager had been extensive and the crew was beginning to lose hope, she knew it. As soon as something was fixed, something else failed during the next attack.

Tuvok fired on the three smaller vessels and after fifteen minutes of exchanging phaser fire, like the others, or if it were the same ones, who could tell without being able to read their warp signatures, cloaked and disappeared.

“Mr Kim?”

“No sign of them, Captain. No trace.”

Janeway rubbed her neck again.

“Damage?”

Chakotay, her first officer, read from his work station. “No hull breach, minor damages to deck thirteen and fifteen. Two casualties on deck thirteen. They are beamed to sickbay now.”

“Janeway to sickbay.”

“Doctor here. I’m busy.”

“What about the casualties?” Janeway persisted.

“It’s bad, Captain.”

She held her breath and tried to keep her command mask in place.

“Who is it?”

“Ensign Alvarez and Crewman Bell.”

“I’ll be down, Janeway out.”

She got up, her body numb and her heart in her throat, hoping nobody noticed.

“I’ll be in sickbay, you have the bridge commander.”

Chakotay nodded solemnly. “I hope they pull through, Captain”, he said.

She nodded and strode to the turbo lift. So did she.

Sickbay was buzzing with activity and the Doctor’s brisk voice was heard issuing orders to the crewmembers that did their best to help out.

Janeway stopped in her tracks and her heart skipped several beats from the sight of the two badly burned people lying on two of the bio beds. She could tell it was bad, that it would take a miracle to save the young, female ensign and the huge, amicable crewman. She hardly knew any of them, they usually worked the lower decks during the gamma shift, but she remembered crewman Bell for having the courage to ask the captain to dance once in the Sandrine’s holodeck program.

Janeway stood there, close to a wall and out of everyone’s way until the initial rush ceased and two blankets were pulled over the bodies.

The Doctor came up to her and shook his head.

“I am sorry, Captain”, he said quietly. “There were nothing we could do, their injuries were to severe.”

The words were routine but his voice was empathetic, caring.

“Thank you, Doctor”, she managed. “I am sure you gave it your very best, you always do.”

“Thank you”, he said. “Forgive me, Captain, but you don’t look well. Please allow me …”

He flinched when Janeway’s mood altered in an instant and she held up a hand to stop him.

“No, doctor. I am not well, but I don’t have the luxury to complain and why should I? I am not the one who is lying on those bio beds and I am not the one that might eventually hear of Voyager’s miraculous return to the Alpha quadrant and then only receive a letter from its captain, stating how sorry she is, instead of a son or a daughter!” She gasped and practically shoved him out of her way. “I have work to do. This goes no further, it stops now.”

She walked out of sickbay, unknowing of all the startled eyes that followed her as she exited. Nobody had seen her so angry, so absolutely furious in a long, long time.

She had come on to the bridge like an avenging dark angel, barking an order to go to warp nine and ‘get the hell out of here’. Chakotay had looked concerned but obviously realised that this was not a good time to offer opinions.

B’Elanna had fortunately had the warp engines online and ready, Tom Paris worked the helm with his usual flare and they were on their way in a matter of seconds.

“Bridge to senior officers. Report to the conference room immediately.”

Her order was harsh and she didn’t wait for anyone else, she went in ahead and not even looking at her chair, stood in front of the view ports, her back towards the room.

The others came in, the bridge staff first shortly followed by B’Elanna, Seven of Nine and Neelix. The Doctor appeared over the visual comm link.

When she didn’t move after a full minute, Chakotay discretely cleared his throat.

“Captain?”

She turned around, her features carved in stone, jaw firmly set.

“I will not allow any of us to leave this room until we have a new, innovative plan with a high success probability. We lost two good shipmates today. This has gone on long enough. Let’s hear what you have up your sleeves, people.” Her voice was even, emotionless but tinged with an absolute lethal tone. They all recognised it, they all knew what it meant.

She looked at them all in turn. When her eyes met Seven’s her command mask faltered for a second but she slammed it back on with the last of her strength. She had to get through this. Her crew depended on it. This was why she was the captain.

Three hours later they had come up with a plan and also drawn up two detailed back up plans should the first one fail. It was bold and controversial, hardly Starfleet, but the fury and determination of their captain had propelled the senior staff into thinking fast and hopefully accurately.

She was so proud of them. She had pushed them hard and when they had buckled a little she had pushed them even harder.

Looking at their weary faces now it was good to be able to let them off the hook, for now.

“Thank you”, she said hoarsely, “dismissed.”

They nodded and everybody got up and one by one left the room, no doubt going to their quarters or the mess hall to get something to eat.

Janeway turned to stand by the view port again. The stars hurled by, the effect created by the warp speed. They could not continue at such high warp for long, but right now she wanted to put as much distance between Voyager and this part of space as possible.

“Captain.”

Seven of Nine’s cool voice startled her. She turned around so quickly it made her head spin.

“Seven? Oh, I thought you left with the others.”

“No.”

“What can I do for you, Seven?” Janeway asked as she started to assemble the scattered PADDs on the conference table. Hardly the captain’s work but she had to focus on something else than the Borg’s inquisitive blue eyes.

“Kathryn, I wish for you to stop that and look at me.”

Janeway frowned and looked up. Seven was standing closer than she expected, her hands clasped behind her back and a concerned look on her face.

“Yes?” Janeway asked.

“Do not do this to yourself. I can see you are not well. Do not push me away.” Seven unclasped her hands and put one of them carefully on the older woman’s shoulder. “Kathryn.”

The touch was sheer agony. She wanted nothing more than to lean into it and let Seven hold her. They had never had the opportunity to meet for dinner in her quarters like planned. The stealth aliens had attacked them and kept it up, they had both been almost constantly on duty. What little time they hadn’t had been spent sleeping.

“Seven”, Janeway moaned softly and took a step back. “This is not a good time …”

“It is not a good time, but a necessary time”, Seven maintained. “You are driving yourself too hard, it is damaging you, Kathryn.”

“I must. I am the captain. We …”

“I know”, Seven interrupted. “You are the captain and the crew need you. But they do not need a captain that damages herself. You need to rest and eat. You need to be taken care of.” She paused. “You need me.”

The simple words hit the captain like a ton of bricks. ‘You need me.’

She did. The last two weeks had been an escalating nightmare. She had done it again. Turned this into a personal failure, a personal vendetta with these aliens, a personal responsibility.

The command mask crackling, shimmering tears disengaged from her eyelashes and fell on the PADD she held in her left hand.

Seven gently took it away from her and pulled her into a warm, soothing embrace.

Janeway didn’t cry. The two tears fell alone and none followed in their path. But she did sink into the arms of the younger woman. Her body went limb and she relished in the comfort of hearing the reassuring thud of Seven’s heart under hear head that rested on the other woman’s chest. The slim, strong arms moved in comforting little strokes on her back.

“Do not shut me out again, Kathryn”, Seven said. “I want to be with you weather you are happy or troubled. I need to be with you, to offer my love as well as my support.”

“I know”, Janeway whispered. “Really, I do. I just forgot, I think.”

Seven nodded.

“You will not forget again?” she offered hopefully.

Janeway smiled ruefully.

“I probably will, darling. But I trust that you will remind me.”

Seven nuzzled the smaller woman’s temple and kissed her on the top of her head. Janeway basked in the comfort and the loving attention.

“Captain, can I …”

The voice of her first officer trailed off as he dumfounded stood as struck by lightning just inside the door.

“Commander”, Seven acknowledged politely his presence without letting go of her captain.

“I’m sorry … I …”, he said and with a faint smile, rubbing his tattoo.

Janeway disentangled herself from Seven and awkwardly squared her shoulders, meeting the first officer’s eyes.

“Yes, Commander?”

“I was going to ask you to have dinner with me in the mess hall to make sure you ate something, but I think someone beat me to it.”

“Oh, I see. Well, yes … Seven and I …”, she closed her eyes for a second, exasperated.

“Kathryn, don’t”, he said with a hint of tenderness in his voice. “I am happy for you. You need somebody. If being with Seven makes you happy, that is fine with me.”

She had not really been looking for his approval, but now since she apparently had it anyway, she was relieved. It would have been uncomfortable and stressful if he hadn’t. It was definitely a small ship.

“Chakotay, I wish to keep this between us for now. It is very early – I mean, Seven and I …”, she stuttered, searching for the correct words.

“What the captain means is that we have not copulated yet”, Seven stated. “The alien attacks interfered with our plans.”

Janeway cringed and put a hand over her eyes. So much for being discrete. But on the other hand, she had asked to keep this between Chakotay, Seven and herself. She had not had the time to inform Seven about what that meant exactly.

Chakotay was smiling even broader now, that was certainly unnerving. He was such a tease and this would become unbearable sooner or later.

“Seven”, she warned in her best captain’s voice. “That is not what I was going to say.”

“No?”

“Well, yes perhaps, but not in those words.”

“I also find the word ‘copulating’ lacking”, Seven agreed readily. “Is there another word that is more equivalent with how we feel?”

Chakotay cleared his throat again, saving Janeway from having to issue another reprimand.

“I will go and have my dinner, Captain. I hope the two of you will find the time to do the same and also some … rest.” He smiled and left.

Oh, no. It had started already, Janeway groaned inwardly.

“Seven, my darling”, she said with a sigh. “You sure have a way to make me think about something else than our present problems.”

“You still haven’t answered my question, Kathryn”, Seven said stubbornly. She was really a very trying woman at times, Janeway thought.

“What question was that?” the captain stalled.

It was Seven’s turn to sigh.

“A word that is more loving than ‘copulate’.”

“Oh, that”, Janeway said and leaned into the young Borg. “I’ve always preferred ‘making love’, darling.”

“Making love.” Seven tasted the words. “I find them preferable too.”

“You do, huh? Shall we go to the mess hall and see what Neelix is offering tonight?”

“That would be acceptable”, Seven agreed. “I hope it is not leola roots again. I find them lacking in both taste as well as appearance.”

Janeway chuckled.

“I thought taste was irrelevant.”

“Not anymore”, Seven stated as they left the conference room and entered the turbo lift.

“What changed your mind?”

“You did, Captain. The way you taste is very palatable.”

Janeway blushed and glanced at Seven. The younger woman could always throw her with a simple statement when she least expected it. Amazing.

They stepped out of the turbo lift and just as they started walking through the corridor Janeway mumbled:

“Since you mention it; I wish I could taste you right now, Annika.”

When they entered the mess hall the captain smiled so smugly that several crewmembers wonderingly turned their head to take one more look at her. Only the fact that the ship’s astrometric’s officer was blushing faintly turned out to be equally interesting.

Janeway’s quarters were dimly lit and the couple on the couch didn’t mind.

Seven was sitting comfortably with a pillow behind her back, cradling her captain in her arms, listening to the older woman when she, interrupted occasionally by muffled sobs, told her all about how she had felt and acted in sickbay earlier.

When all the words were spoken the Borg pulled Janeway closer and kissed her.

Long, probing kisses that melted the captain’s heart and mended it at the same time.

Hands started to caress, slowly and with a passion neither of them ever hoped to find.

Janeway indulged in a two weeks old fantasy and filled her hands with Seven’s full breasts, rubbing them through the bio suit. They were softer than she had ever imagined and she wanted so much to touch them properly, without the suit between that luscious skin and her hands.

“Seven, how do you get out of that suit?” she asked huskily.

Seven answered by reaching behind her, unfastening the clasp at the base of her neck. The suit unfolded and fell down, revealing her alabaster shoulders.

Janeway reached up and pulled it further down, freeing Seven’s arms and those beautiful breasts, full and with pebbled, pink nipples.

“Oh, my …”, the smaller woman breathed. Without hesitation she grabbed the nearest, gorgeous mound and brought her mouth down on it. She sucked the nipple into her mouth, let the warm wetness surround it, licking it feverishly.

“Kathryn”, Seven gasped and held Janeway closer. “Oh, yes, Kathryn …”

Janeway treated the other breast the same way, hungry for her Borg now, needing to feast on her. It was so wonderful and she could feel herself responding to what she was doing. Her body was slowly getting more aroused than she had been in … than she had probably ever been, she thought breathlessly.

She pulled back a little and pulled her turtleneck sweater over her head. She simply pulled down the straps of her bra and shoved it down to her waist, eager to be as undressed as Seven, needing to feel the wonderful blonde’s hands and her lips.

Seven stared at her. Motionless, eyes huge and glazed over she could do nothing but stare at her captain.

Just as Janeway started to feel really awkward and evil little doubts emerging, Seven spoke.

“You are so beautiful, Kathryn. I have never seen anything so wonderful in my whole life.”

Oh, she has learned to exaggerate, Janeway thought, smiling.

“Can I touch you?” the younger woman asked, her voice trembling.

“Oh, please do”, Janeway said. “I need you to touch me.”

Seven reached out and gently encircled the breast closest to her with her hand. The captain gasped and had to close her eyes at the overwhelming desire rising inside her.

“Am I hurting you?” Seven asked, concerned.

“No, no. Don’t stop”, Janeway managed throatily.

Seven caressed her, excruciatingly slowly, soft touches, careful pinches to her nipple that ached for the touch.

“Oh … oh, Annika”, Janeway moaned. “It is so wonderful, what you do to me. Oh, it’s perfect …”

Seven didn’t answer but leaned forward to kiss the tender skin. Her mouth was warm and moist when she sucked the pebbled nipple in. Her teeth graced it without pain but with much pleasure, making the smaller woman gasp for air again and cry out softly.

“Harder, Annika … suck harder, please … oh, please, darling.”

The Borg complied readily, her jaw moving as her tongue performed the sucking movements to please the captain. Janeway fell backwards against the armrest and pulled Seven with her, the young woman ending up sprawled on top of her. Seven’s mouth lost contact with the breast she had been feasting on, but found Janeway’s lips instead and initiated a blazing kiss that drove both women wild.

Janeway’s arms hugged her closer and closer, their breasts rubbing together causing exquisite pleasure and a demand for the physical encounter to escalate.

“I need to touch you more, Seven”, Janeway whispered frantically. “I need you. You are my darling, my light. I love you.”

Seven froze. She stopped breathing, lying there on top of her captain, not daring to move a muscle, staring down on the auburn haired wonder.

Janeway’s eyes softened and two small tears glistened in the corner of them.

“It is true, Annika. Don’t look at me like that.”

“Please, do not lie to me, Kathryn”, Seven said in a tiny voice. “Do not let our current activity, this ‘making love’, make you say something you will later regret sharing with me.”

Janeway’s heart shrunk and melted at the younger woman’s evident fear.

“I won’t. I may be more aroused than I have been in a long time, if ever, but I know what I feel, what I probably have felt for a long time without being able to understand it myself. I love you, Annika. You are my darling and you always will be. I am just sorry that I have been such a coward.”

Seven’s face altered slowly from being apprehensive to eventually believing that her captain indeed did know what she was saying. Her full lips parted slowly in a most endearing, glowing smile, going straight for Janeway’s heart.

“Uh, darling?” Janeway managed with a lopsided smile.

“Yes, my Kathryn?”

“Do you think we could move over on our sides or something. I don’t mean to be rude, but you are a little bigger than I am and quite heavy.”

Seven rolled them over as Janeway spoke, nuzzling the older woman’s cheek and hair, hugging her close to her naked chest.

The urge from their earlier embrace had lessened a little and both of them were satisfied to just hold on to the other. Hearts beating in a soothing rhythm, breaths being drawn to move the tender skin to touch the other, fingers caressing, lips nuzzling. There were no more rush, no more immediate need to satisfy, to complete. Just the two of them, basking in their mutual love.

“Kathryn?”

“Yes, darling?”

“I love you, too.”

“I’m very happy you were bolder than I was.”

“You are not a coward, Kathryn.”

“When it comes to love, I have been a coward for years. Too many losses and too much heartache.” Janeway hesitated but decided to be honest. “I can never loose you, Annika. I could not survive it.”

Seven raised her head and looked into the eyes of her beloved, considering it.

“I can not promise you that I will live forever.”

“I know. Neither can I, darling”, Janeway agreed. “But the thought scares me.”

“It is … unsettling.”

“Let’s not think about it any more right now. It is enough just to be here with you, holding you.”

“Yes, it is very acceptable”, Seven agreed and happily embraced Janeway again.

There were a couple of minutes silence.

“Kathryn?”

“Yes?”

“Do you think the commander thinks we are making love and by doing so are escalating our relationship to the next level?”

Janeway winced.

“Oh dear God, I hope not”, she muttered. “I hope he is not picturing us doing anything at all. Period.”

“He seemed intrigued and happy for you, Kathryn.”

“He is probably plotting several ways to tease me to no end, I should think”, Janeway groaned, hiding her face against the silky skin of Seven’s neck.

Seven frowned.

“The commander teases you?”

“He has been known to.”

“Is that like one of the Doctor’s lessons, ‘Friendly Banter on the Bridge’?”

“What are you talking about, Annika?”

“The lessons in social skills I once underwent with the Doctor as my mentor. Your suggestion, Kathryn.”

“Oh my goodness. I will have to hear more about them some day.”

Seven nodded.

“He also instructed me in dancing, dating and how to propose a toast.”

“He is diverse, I’ll give him that. However, I will be the one you date and dance with from now on.”

“Yes, Kathryn.”

Janeway reached for a blanket and pulled it over them, feeling the room getting chillier as the ship adjusted the room’s temperature simulating night. She held Seven close to her heart, where the young woman belonged, pleased to have had the courage to confess to love.

Seven deserved no less. Everything else could wait.

*****

Continued in Among Stars 4 - "Waiting by An Alcove"