Disclaimer: Paramount owns everything Star Trek. I am just borrowing the characters.. I make no money. No infringement intended. Same gender romance - if illegal or not your thing - move on!

J/7 PG13 1st enc story

I want to wish my readers a very Merry Christmas and the best for 2003.

For inspiration and assistance during the last two years, I want to thank Pol, my betareader and good friend. I also have my immediate family and my sister-by-choice in my thoughts and I am grateful for their love and support.

January 9, 2003: My beta reader Pol, my online fanfic buddy Lex and my sister-by-choice all pitched in and helped me with evrything from typos, errors and building of paragraphs. There were a few that needed work, eh, Pol? <grin>
Thank you for helping me tighten it up. Happy reading/re-reading, folks! :-)


Summary: A phenomena around Christmas time instills great hope for the crew of Voyager - and great danger for someone else.


Janeway’s Miracle

© GB

 

"Regeneration cycle incomplete."

The tall, lanky blonde stepped off the dais of her green tinted regeneration alcove. Glancing around her, she moved around cargo bay two with caution.

Seven of Nine, late of the Borg Collective, knew something was amiss. Her cortical implant suggested it was three point six hours into the gamma shift. Most crewmembers onboard Voyager were asleep.

Something had made the computer interrupt the regeneration cycle prematurely.

"Computer, run a routine diagnostic of my alcove," she ordered.

The controls lit up briefly.

"Your alcove is now functioning within normal parameters."

"Why was the regeneration cycle interrupted?" Seven insisted.

"There was a short burst of excessive energy. All relays were temporarily in off-mode but are now functional and reset to their original configuration."

Seven frowned.

"What was the origin of this energy surge?"

"Unknown."

Seven went over to her work consol and began running more extensive diagnostics, trying to figure out what had just taken place. She tapped her comm badge.

"Seven to the bridge."

 

"Kim here. Go ahead, Seven."

Ensign Harry Kim had the com on some gamma shifts.

"Did you notice the surge in power two point five minutes ago, Ensign?" the blonde asked.

"Yes, ops picked up on it. Everything seems normal now but we’re running diagnostics. Did you detect anything in cargo bay two?"

"My alcove was briefly taken offline and ended the regeneration cycle prematurely. My alcove would normally compensate for a mere power surge. I am also investigating this further."

Harry seemed to hesitate.

"Let me know what you find out. We may have to alert the captain."

"I will get back to you, Ensign. Seven out."

The ex-Borg rapidly let her fingers punch in commands. She was not sure, why that inexplicable sense that Janeway referred to as her intuition, made her so sure there was something still wrong. So far there were no such indications.

Different readings began to scroll over the screen of her work consol. She read the results of her extended diagnostic and frowned at the results.

The results suggested something completely unexpected.

Tapping her comm badge again, she hailed the bridge.

"Seven to Kim. You must take Voyager out of warp immediately and use impulse drive only."

"Go to impulse. Seven? Why? What did you find?" Harry Kim asked.

"I am on my way to the captain’s quarters. I must discuss this with her first. I don not have time to explain any further, for the wellbeing of this ship and crew Ensign, do as I say and await further guidance from the captain."

"Taking it out of warp now," Harry replied, slightly taken aback by Seven’s words.

Seven knew that he wanted an explanation but it would have to wait.

She downloaded the information into a data PADD and tucked it under her arm.

She closed the comm link and then raised her voice.

"Computer, site-to-site transport of one to corridor, deck three."

She rematerialised close to the door to Janeway’s quarters. Promptly she rang the door chime.

There was a brief pause and unlike her usual calm approach to things, she impatiently pressed the door chime again.

"For goodness sake, hold your horses," she heard her captain mutter behind the door. "Enter."

The door slid up and revealed a tousled captain, tying a robe around her petite form.

"Seven? What’s up? What time is it?"

"It is late," Seven said quickly. "You need to familiarise yourself with this information immediately."

The blonde handed Janeway the data PADD and remained on the threshold, her hands clasped behind her back.

Janeway stared at her, her blue-grey eyes still drowsy from sleeping only seconds ago.

"What’s going on?" she muttered again and waved to Seven to accompany her into the sitting area of her quarters. "Take a seat while I wake up."

The auburn haired captain shot Seven a look while sitting down on the couch beneath the view port. She then directed her attention towards the information the blonde had downloaded.

The younger woman awkwardly took a seat in an armchair across from Janeway, watching with anticipation. A frown appeared as the captain read.

After finishing, Janeway looked up at the blonde, her eyes anything but drowsy.

"How sure are you of these readings?" she asked, sounding very serious.

"The readings are accurate. The computer verified them twice. We have to act quickly. There is no way of knowing how long it will be there. I advised Ensign Kim to take Voyager our of warp drive the destabilisation will increase."

"If this is correct, and it means what I think it does, we have no time to lose. You were correct in your assumptions regarding travelling at warp. We need to re-configure the warp core to compensate for these surges of energy. Report to astrometrics, Seven. Chart the sectors in question."

"Yes, Captain." Seven rose.

Janeway raised her hand.

"Seven, until we know for sure what this means for Voyager and the crew … I want this to be just between us."

"Ensign Kim knows that there is something out of the ordinary happening, and so does the rest of the gamma shift on the bridge. Anyone who has noticed that we are travelling at impulse only will be curious, Captain," Seven cautioned Janeway.

"I agree. Still, the details will have to remain classified for now."

Seven dipped her head.

"Yes, Captain."

To her surprise, the older woman walked up to her, clearly invading her personal space. Seven remained still, looking down into the worried eyes of her captain.

"You realise that you may have found a way, don’t you, Seven?" Janeway whispered, her eyes glazing over. "We’ve had our hopes up before, several times, especially the first two years out here … I don’t want to jump to conclusions but …"

"I know, Captain," Seven allowed, as she tried to read the expression on Janeway’s face.

The captain raised a hand and surprised her visitor by cupping the alabaster cheek of her visitor. Softly sliding her fingertips down towards the generous curve of Seven’s jaw line, she smiled faintly.

"What ever this means, I want you to know that I’m grateful."

Uncertain how to respond to either the touch or the soft-spoken words, Seven only nodded.

"I’ll get dressed now." Janeway removed her hand and pivoted, reaching for her comm badge on the coffee table. "Janeway to the bridge. Assemble the senior staff meet in the conference room."

"Aye, ma’am," Harry Kim replied instantly as if he had awaited her order.

Seven looked at the other woman as her lithe form disappeared into her sleeping area.

Leaving the captain’s quarters, she felt a lingering sensation where Janeway had touched her cheek.

 

*****

 

Janeway strode onto the bridge.

Harry Kim vacated the chair but she shook her head.

"You still have the bridge, Ensign," she said briskly. "Once you’re relieved, join us in the conference room."

"Aye, Captain," the young man replied. "May I ask what this is about, ma’am?"

"Not yet, Harry," Janeway said, trying to sound patient.

She went into her ready room, knowing that Chakotay would join her in a few minutes before the rest of the senior staff showed up in the conference room.

Browsing through the data PADD she frowned. If these data were accurate, this Christmas would be different from all the others in they spent in the Delta Quadrant.

Her door chime rang.

"Enter."

Chakotay stepped in, a concerned look on his face.

"What’s up, Captain?" he asked as she gestured toward the visitor’s chair on the opposite side of the desk.

"Seven has discovered an anomaly that we need to look into – it … it looks like she might have stumbled on a way home, Chakotay."

Voyager’s first officer looked both stunned and in disbelief. No doubt, he was suspicious, as was she, over the latest turn of events.

"What has she has found, exactly?" Chakotay asked carefully.

Janeway rose.

"I have to show you on the monitor …"

"Kim to Janeway. Senior staff is here, ma’am."

"Good. Let’s get on with it, then."

They rose and walked across the bridge, nodding to Harry to join them. The young ensign handed over the command chair to the ensign at ops.

All the senior staff members were in the conference room except Seven.

Janeway walked over to the consol on the wall. Punching in a few commands, she opened a visual comm link to astrometrics.

"Seven, are you ready to brief us?" she asked, not quite able to keep the tension she felt out of her voice.

"Yes, Captain," the blonde replied calmly. "I have put together new data that strengthens our theory."

"Go ahead."

Seven stepped into view and pulled up a series off readings on the view screen.

"These are the readings that I received after running several diagnostics after my alcove was disrupted. A short power burst followed by a complete power cut made the computer reset itself. Several readings appeared and I contacted Ensign Kim who agreed with me that it would be prudent to take Voyager out of warp and run the ship on impulse engines only."

B’Elanna Torres’ eyes grew wide as she read the information on the screen.

"Are these readings correct?" she asked, sounding incredulous. "If they are …"

"They are accurate, Lieutenant," Seven said, her voice unwavering. "These follow-up readings confirm that we need to investigate this."

"Can someone explain in more detail what the readings imply?" Chakotay asked.

"Certainly," Seven nodded. "These readings show that we will suffer these power cuts with regular intervals, and with increasing frequency. As we approach the source, there might be severe disruptions of the replicators, plasma conduits and transporters."

The Doctor frowned.

"Why would we want to approach anything that is omitting something that could endanger Voyager?" he asked.

Janeway rose and leaned over the table on her hands, looking at her senior staff.

"We can’t afford not to," she said, her voice urgent. "The pulses that are omitted are not unfamiliar to our computer. We’ve come across them before."

"We have?" Tom Paris asked. "What are they?"

There was a stunned silence.

"They carry the same signature as the energy pulses sent from the Caretaker’s array six years ago."

*****

Seven stood by her alcove, working at her consol with increasing fervour.

Her heart sank as the readings came back the same as before. This would be hard to explain to the captain.

She thought of the last few days when Voyager had managed to go to warp several times, taking the closer to the origin of the signal.

As they got closer, more and more of Voyager’s technology began to malfunction. Seven knew that something was seriously wrong with her alcove. She had not been able to regenerate more than an hour now and again. If this continued …

She shook her had and kept working, trying to solve the problem.

"Janeway to Seven of Nine."

Seven tapped her comm badge.

"Yes, Captain."

"I haven’t seen you around, Seven. What are you working on? You haven’t filed a progress report in two days and that’s not like you."

Seven had excused herself from the morning meetings in the conference room twice now and she should have known that Janeway would not let that go on.

"I apologise, Captain," Seven said, trying to sound confident. "I have been focusing on the task at hand and I must have … "

Her voice faltered.

"… forgotten about it?" Janeway completed the sentence, sounding amused. "Not likely. So level with me, Seven, what’s going on?"

Seven cringed. She had not counted on admitting her failure so soon.

She cleared her throat and that in itself was a rare sign of nerves for the young woman.

"I am unable to reset my alcove and make it function within acceptable parameters."

Janeway inhaled sharply and there was a brief silence.

"What do you mean? How long has your alcove malfunctioned?"

 

"It has not been operational in a satisfactory manner since the first energy surge six days ago."

 

"Haven’t you regenerated since the first incident?"

"Yes, I managed to get it operational for one point three hours the following day."

"And since then?"

Seven sighed inwardly.

"I have not regenerated since then, Captain," she admitted, self-conscious about her shortcomings.

"Does the Doctor know?"

"I am not ill," Seven replied, squaring her shoulders.

"But you can become ill if you aren’t able to replenish your system. I want you to go to sickbay immediately and I’ll have B’Elanna take a look at your alcove."

Feeling drained, Seven did not have the energy to object. She had been running the same diagnostic from different angles so many times that she had lost count. She was getting nowhere.

"Very well, Captain," she conceded. "I will temporary stop my efforts for now and go to sickbay."

"Good," Janeway said approvingly. "Would you please join me in my quarters when you’re done? I want to talk to you and we could have dinner if you like."

Surprised, Seven swallowed hard.

"Of course, Captain," she replied.

"Just show up when you’re finished in sickbay. I’ll be here working on some of today’s readings."

"Yes, Captain."

She closed the comm link and left for sickbay, eager to get the examination over and done with.

*****

The Doctor looked up from his data PADD and cleared his throat.

"This is not good news," he warned Seven. "You have depleted your systems without taking any measures to conserve energy. Your nanoprobes are severely strained and some are damaged and need replacing."

"Go ahead. Replace them," Seven said, resisting the urge to roll her eyes.

"You don’t understand," the Doctor sighed. "I can replace the nanoprobes as long as your replicated stock lasts … but if the alcove is not operational by then …"

His voice trailed off.

"I will repair it."

"From what B’Elanna said, that might take a long time. Longer than what is safe for you."

B’Elanna had hailed Seven while the Doctor was examining her and given her the discouraging report on her alcove. The pulses omitting from the array they were approaching kept getting stronger. If they affected the alcove to this extent already...

"Chances are that these pulses are causing the deterioration of your nanoprobes as well, Seven," the EMH said, his voice solemn. "We need to inform the captain."

"I am on my way to her quarters," Seven said quickly, "I will inform her of my condition."

She knew that B’Elanna had already briefed the captain of her findings regarding the alcove.

"What can I do to limit the effect the pulses have on my systems?" she asked.

"You can inject dormant nanoprobes by taking one hypospray per day. They will boost the ones in your bloodstream. You can eat nutritional food and rest. You must not do anything physically strenuous."

"How long will this course of action have the desired effect?" the blonde asked, sounding doubtful.

The Doctor hesitated.

"These are just temporary measures, Seven," he answered, putting a hand on her shoulder in empathy. "This will delay the deterioration of your cortical implant for a few weeks but …"

He left the rest unsaid.

*****

"Enter," Janeway answered the door chime.

Glancing over her shoulder on her way to the replicator, she stopped in her tracks and could only stare.

Seven of Nine stood on her threshold.

The young woman wore her blonde hair down around her narrow shoulders. A glimmering auburn dress clung to her slender figure like a second skin, much in the same manner as her usual bio suit. This was probably the dress version of one, Janeway thought. She seemed taller and more slender than usual, perhaps because she was wearing black pumps with high heels.

"You look wonderful," the captain said without thinking. "What’s the occasion?"

Seven seemed to hesitate but then stepped inside and the door closed behind her.

"You invited me to have dinner in your quarters," the younger woman said. "I thought it would be prudent to change into an evening attire. Was I mistaken in my assumption?"

"No, Seven, I think it was very prudent," Janeway said with a crooked smile. "Now tell me, what are the Doctor’s orders until we fix your alcove?"

Seven walked closer, a faint smile on her lips. There was something indefinably strange about her, a presence and intensity that Janeway had seldom seen in her.

"He said that I should rest and not overdo it," Seven replied. "He also advised me to inject additional nanoprobes."

Janeway frowned.

"Are your systems depleted already?" she asked. "That was awfully quick."

"It is probably because I have worked continuously to repair the alcove. I am fortunate. Lt Torres informed me that she would work on it continuously from now on. She has left Lt Carrey in charge of engineering."

"Yes, she told me," Janeway said, feeling a chill run down her spine. "I’m concerned Seven. Are you sure the Doctor only said to rest? How can that substitute not being able to regenerate? You are not accustomed to human sleep."

"That was his advice, Captain. I am afraid that I will need access to private quarters. Cargo bay two is not suitable for my first attempts at normal human sleep. There are too many interruptions from crewmembers."

Janeway cringed. She was guilty of many of those intrusions – a lot of them when the young woman before her was regenerating.

"You can stay here," she blurted out without thinking.

Seven’s eyebrow and optical implant rose.

"Captain?"

"You can stay here," Janeway repeated, not about to take the offer back once it was out there. "I am not here during the days; you’ll have the place to yourself. It’s the most comfortable quarters on Voyager and …"

She broke off and gazed down on her restless hands.

"I accept," Seven said, her voice calm.

Janeway’s head snapped up.

Seven regarded her with shining eyes.

"Good. It’s settled then," the captain smiled, relieved that the young woman had accepted the offer without questions as to motive. "I was just replicating some dinner so you’re in for a treat. I hope."

Her self-irony made Seven give another faint smile.

"I hope so as well," the blonde said.

She stepped closer, invading Janeway’s personal space. Almost startling the older woman, she cupped her cheek, much like the captain had done the last time she had been in these quarters.

Janeway inhaled audibly.

"Seven," she breathed.

"Thank you for offering to share your quarters, Captain," the ex-Borg said in a low voice. "I know you value your privacy and I am grateful."

She caressed the captain’s cheek and then let her hand rest against Janeway’s neck, underneath the auburn hair.

The older woman struggled to remember how to breathe. Suddenly inhaling and exhaling seemed very difficult. The intoxicating closeness to the beautiful blonde was almost more than she could bear.

Leaning into the touch, the captain tried to pull herself together. Willing herself to gaze up into Seven’s eyes, she pulled back a little.

Seven lowered her hand.

Clearing her throat softly, Janeway kept from leaping into the alluring embrace of the other woman.

"I think the pleasure will be mine," she managed. "Come on, Seven; let’s see if what I created is edible."

*****

 

Janeway entered her quarters and found the illumination set to only ten percent.

She looked around the immaculate living area and frowned. This was not ‘taking it easy’. Seven had apparently picked up after her captain again, the third day in a row. Janeway had told her not to bother with it but she now realised that the only way to keep the young woman from overdoing it was to pick up after herself, she thought giving herself a mental slap on the head.

She tiptoed to the door leading into her sleeping area.

Seven had offered to sleep on the couch but since sleep was a strange concept to the ex-Borg as it was, Janeway had declined and taken the couch herself. Now she peeked inside the bedroom.

The young woman was huddled under the covers, her tall, lanky body curled tightly. Janeway thought she could hear Seven’s teeth chattering.

"Seven? Are you all right?" she whispered and took a step closer.

"I am cold, Captain," Seven replied in a tremulous voice.

Janeway quickly covered the distance between the door and the queen size bed. Sitting down next to the blonde, she reached out and felt her forehead. Seven’s skin was cold and clammy to the touch.

"Oh, Seven, have you contacted sickbay?" Janeway asked, her heart in her throat.

She had come straight from cargo bay two where she had assisted B’Elanna and Harry in working on the alcove. So far, there was no progress. The alcove shut down after less than two minutes every time they tried to reinitiate it.

"Yes, I hailed the Doctor two point four six hours ago," Seven replies. "He ‘made a house call’ and administered medication. It has not helped. My cortical implant is malfunctioning and causing my internal thermostat to fluctuate."

Janeway could not bear to watch the young woman in such discomfort and do nothing. She quickly disrobed and took a sonic shower, divesting herself of the grime coming from crawling around the Jeffrey’s tubes next to cargo bay two. She wrapped a satin robe around herself and promptly crawled into bed next to Seven and reached out for the shivering girl.

"There, I’ve got you," Janeway said in low voice. "I’ll keep you warm, Seven."

Wrapping arms and legs around the younger woman, she ignored the surprise in Seven’s eyes and pulled the blonde head onto her shoulder.

Soon, she began to gently rock her.

"You are warm," the ex-Borg said in a grateful voice. "Your presence in this bed instils a very pleasant feeling."

"Thank you," Janeway smiled crookedly. "I’m glad you approve."

She let her hands run up and down Seven’s back on top of the flannel pyjama top that she had replicated for the young woman. Slowly the shivering stopped. Seven snuggled closer, perhaps following some deeply buried instinct.

"That’s it," Janeway encouraged her. "That’s, my girl. Just relax."

She had not realised what she said until Seven sleepily murmured under her chin.

"Am I your girl, Captain?"

Janeway held her breath, her heart accelerating in her chest. Oh, God, how was she to answer that one?

"Yes, you are," she decided, feeling light headed and breathless.

"I find that pleasing," the younger woman sighed, sounding oddly relieved, "being yours."

Janeway held Seven closer and kissed the top of her head. A small flame sparkled and then was instantly ablaze in the pit of her stomach.

"You’re mine," she agreed, not quite understanding why a feeling of utter doom was mixing with the joyous bliss at the same time.

"May I ‘make a wish’?" Seven continued in the low dreamy voice that was so unlike her.

"Of course you may," Janeway promised without trepidation.

Seven’s narrow features took on a vulnerable, yet tender, expression.

"I have dreamed of … I have wanted to experience … Kiss me? Please, Kathryn?"

All air left the captain’s lungs in a gush, causing them to cave in and her head to spin. Her innermost sacred, secret thoughts and feelings rushed to the surface, blinding and overwhelming her.

This was Seven of Nine, formerly Tertiary Adjunct of Unimatrix Zero-One of the Borg Collective. The tall, strong and aloof blonde that she had mentored, battled, enjoyed and admired for various reasons, for more then three years. Seven. Her Seven.

Not able to resist, not able to think of a single reason why she should refrain from granting the unexpected wish, she got up on her elbow. Her arm was still under Seven’s leonine neck as leaned over the beautiful girl.

Seven had opened her drowsy eyes and gazed up at her captain.

"Beautiful," she murmured, parting her full lips slightly as she spoke.

"No, you are …" Janeway breathed and brushed her mouth along Seven’s. Slowly adding pressure, she parted the blonde’s lips, kissing her with much tenderness and passion.

It was more than she had ever thought, ever expected. Her mouth lingered on Seven’s. She kept kissing her until she felt the young woman settle down into the embrace and relax.

She slowed the kiss down, made it soothing rather than arousing, ending it with small kisses in the corner of Seven’s mouth.

The slow even breathing proved that the ex-Borg had successfully fallen asleep.

Janeway waited until Seven had entered the first stage of REM sleep. She then stealthily freed herself and walked into the living area of her quarters where she sat down at her work consol at her desk.

Punching in commands, she hailed the Doctor.

"Doctor," she said in a low, menacing voice, "I think it’s time you level with me. What is it that you’re not telling me about Seven’s condition?"

"I’m sorry, Captain," the sparsely built hologram stated with a frown. "It’s a matter of doctor – patient confidentiality. Seven is adamant about keeping her medical records private."

"And I’m your captain. I’m giving you a direct order. I want to know what her status is and I want to know it now. She’s living in my quarters. I’m not blind. The truth, Doctor, if she is unable to regenerate soon, what is her prognosis?"

The Doctor sighed.

"In fact, I am relieved that you chose to give me this particular order since that is the only way my ethical subroutines will allow me to disclose confidential information. Seven’s problem is not so much the fact that her alcove is malfunctioning – it is more complicated than that."

"Go on," Janeway said, her heart sinking.

"She is directly affected, as is a lot of the technology onboard Voyager as we approach the source of the pulses, Captain. She is slowly shutting down. If we don’t reach the source in time, her cortical implant will cease to function altogether and shut all of her human organs down with it. In short, the closer we get, the quicker the frequency of those pulses, the faster her condition deteriorates." He paused, his face solemn. "We may be on our way home to the Alpha Quadrant, Captain, but if this continues, Seven of Nine will die."

*****

 

Janeway glanced around the conference room.

The familiar, beloved faces all looked at her, wondering what this impromptu emergency meeting could be about.

Her mind reeled from the impact of what she had to tell them. The choice they faced … the disappointment …

"We’re facing a dilemma of unknown proportions," Janeway began, her voice firm, abrupt. "We’re less than forty-eight hours from what all our readings and calculations determines is another Caretaker; a chance to return to the Alpha Quadrant."

She glanced around the room.

"Judging from the look on your face, there’s a snag," Tom Paris said.

The captain sighed.

"Yes, there is. The Doctor informed me an hour ago that the closer we get to the source of the pulse, more technology will close down. You agree with this, Harry?"

"Yes, Captain," the young ensign said. "We’re having significant problems with replicators, transporters and holodecks. We’re expecting this to affect shields and weapons soon. Fortunately there have been no signs of it affecting life-support."

Janeway flinched.

"That is a blessing, but not entirely true, Harry," she said. Rising from the chair, she began to pace back and forth in front of the view port. "Seven’s cortical implant is shutting down."

Her blunt words made them gasp in unison.

"And her alcove is offline," B’Elanna whispered. "How long can the injected nanoprobes sustain her?"

"The closer we get, the more her condition deteriorates," Janeway said through clenched teeth, not even bothering to cover up how this affected her. "According to mine and the Doctor’s calculations, she will not live long enough for us to reach this possible Caretaker."

The Doctor nodded.

"I’ve run every test, every calculation, every sceneario; in order to get there and to have a chance of reaching the Alpha Quadrant – we will lose Seven."

"We can’t sacrifice her!" Neelix blurted out. "We have to give this up."

They all turned to look at the little Talaxian. His hedgehog looking tuft of hair trembled as he made his case.

"So we ask the crew to give up on their chance to get home?" Janeway asked harshly.

"Are you prepared to sacrifice Seven?" Chakotay asked, his voice mild.

Her chest constricted.

"No!" Janeway hissed. "I don’t intend to. You are all going to take the chance to go home but I won’t sacrifice her."

There was a stunned silence.

B’Elanna gazed at her captain and then a knowing look appeared in her dark eyes.

"You’re sacrificing yourself, to save her," she said slowly. "You’re going to leave Voyager and head off in the opposite direction, taking Seven with you."

Janeway sank down in her chair, her legs giving in.

"There is no other choice," she said. "She’s my responsibility. I have already given the order to move her alcove into the Delta Flyer."

"She’s our responsibility too, Captain," Tom Paris insisted, sounding angry. "We’re all responsible for each other on this ship!"

Surprised by his outburst, Janeway tried to keep her hands still by clasping them together in front of her.

"This ship will go home," she murmured. "You’re to continue towards the array and convince the owner or who ever inhabit it to send this ship home."

"You can’t expect us to do that without you or Seven," the Doctor chimed in. "We haven’t come this far by allowing our crewmembers to be left behind."

"You talked us into such a thing four years ago, and even Commander Tuvok disobeyed orders then to retrieve you and Commander Chakotay," Neelix added. "Didn’t you, Mr Vulcan?"

Tuvok had not spoken, merely listened to the emotional outbursts of the other senior officers.

Janeway regarded her oldest friend. He was dearer to her than any brother could have been. She trusted him completely and knew he would give her the logical answer she was looking for. He would not be swayed by emotional displays or reasoning.

"Taking everything into consideration," he began in a matter of fact voice, "I have to agree with the rest of my shipmates."

Janeway stared at her tactical chief.

"Tuvok!"

"Your presence onboard this ship, both as the captain, a formidable and inspiring leader and as an admired and loved member of this crew, is vital for our continued success and survival. This also applies to Seven of Nine. She has single-handedly saved this ship and its crew on several occasions and it is only logical to assume that her particular skills will be required in the future."

"But she can’t go with the rest of us to the source of these pulses," Janeway tried, "and I can’t ask anyone to forfeit this opportunity."

"I think it’s just the opposite," Tom Paris said. "Have you thought about the impact that your decision would have on the members of this crew if they aren’t informed? Do you have any idea the survivor’s guilt and the devastation these people would feel if they thought that you sacrificed yourself or Seven for them when there were choices to be made?"

Why was it so hard to think, to consider the pros and cons regarding this? Her sole intent was to get her crew home and save Seven’s life. When the two had collided, her heart had panicked although her mind had tried to remain logical and clearheaded.

Chakotay leaned forward, his eyes soft and determined at the same time.

"We all know that Seven would sacrifice herself for you and for this ship," he began. "We can’t allow her to do that. This is not an immediate life and death situation for the rest of us – it is a good chance of getting home but that is all. There is no certainty either way."

"I agree," B’Elanna said. "The pulses show great potential and I would say it’s highly probable that they are emanating from another Caretaker’s array. This might have been an opportunity to go home – but what if its inhabitant does not want to help us? That’s a big if and I don’t want to sacrifice anyone on this ship on such loose grounds – certainly not you or Seven."

"So, what’s your suggestion?" Janeway asked, willing the threatening tears to recede.

"We turn around and resume our original course for home," Harry Kim said, his voice calm.

Janeway regarded one of her youngest ensigns. He had joined her senior staff onboard Voyager on his first deep space mission ever and she had always nourished maternal feelings for the eager young man, watched him develop into a seasoned, brilliant Star Fleet officer. To hear him make this calm statement, knowing how eager he was for every transmission from earth, from his parents, how he longed to go home …

"Harry …" she whispered, her voice betraying her.

"I’ll make the ship wide announcement. Don’t worry, Captain. You’ll see," Chakotay added.

Wanting to return to Seven in her quarters, Janeway surrendered to their arguments, relief flooding her.

"Very well," she said, mustering the last of her energy to sound like her old self. "Do it, Commander. I will be in my quarters. You have the bridge again, Mr Kim."

"Aye, ma’am."

"Dismissed."

They rose and left the conference room. Chakotay lingered behind.

"Yes, Chakotay?"

"She will be all right."

That was all he said but he sounded so confident that tears threatened to spill over again.

"Oh, God, Chakotay, I hope so."

"Have faith, Kathryn. Have faith."

*****

Voyager changed course when she walked back to her quarters.

She listened to Chakotay’s ship wide announcement as she rode the turbo lift. It had been short and to the point.

"Chakotay to all hands on Voyager. We will be changing course and resuming our original course towards the Alpha Quadrant. The array omitting the pulses that led us to believe we could use it to return home has proved life threatening to one of our crewmembers who would have to remain behind if the rest of us were to make it there. I know you agree with me that this is not how we conduct ship’s business or how we as colleagues, as a family, treat each other. Therefore, the senior staff has taken the decision to continue our journey as before towards the Alpha Quadrant. I am at your disposal to answer any questions you might have - Chakotay out."

Janeway stepped out of the turbo lift and walked towards her quarters. She wondered how the crew was taking the news. No doubt, the grapevine would let her know soon enough.

She keyed in her code and the door opened.

Walking into the bedroom, she saw that Seven was asleep in the same position as when she had left her. Taking off her tunic, she slid down next to the blonde and snuggled close.

"Kathryn?"

"I’m here," Janeway murmured. "Go back to sleep."

"Do not leave me … please," the young woman whispered.

"I won’t, I promise."

The captain wrapped her arms around the slender form next to her and closed her eyes. She was exhausted.

She closed her eyes and fell asleep instantly.

*****

The ship lurched and tossed the now wide-awake captain onto the floor.

Emergency klaxons howled in the corridors. Voyager was at red alert.

"Janeway to the bridge. Report!"

"Every reading is off the chart, Captain!" Harry Kim shouted to drown out the klaxons. "We’re in a spin and losing inertial dampeners!"

She heard a muted grunt behind her and Janeway realised that Seven also had been tossed from the bed.

Janeway tried to get up but immediately fell over as Voyager kept spinning in a crazy pattern.

Fumbling for Seven, she pulled the younger woman close, holding on to her as she tried to stay in contact with the bridge.

"Redirect all power to life-support and inertial dampeners!"

"Already did that, Captain," Harry yelled. "Computer, mute the klaxon! All hands, brace for impact! We can’t hold her!"

Janeway closed her eyes and held on hard to Seven. She felt the other woman cling to her.

She knew they were probably seconds from a major hull breach; there was no way Voyager could take this kind of violence to her without structural damage.

There was a sudden noise. A high pitch screech hurt her ears.

Then everything went black.

*****

The constellations were unfamiliar.

Janeway looked out the view port behind the couch in her quarters. Holding a steaming mug of freshly replicated coffee between her hands, she watched the vastness of space around her.

Thirty thousand light years closer to home – she could hardly believe it. It was nothing short of a miracle.

Her door chime rang.

"Enter."

She knew without turning around who it was.

"Come and look, Seven," she said.

She glanced over her shoulder. Seven stood there, her hands clasped behind her back. She wore her hair in its usual austere fashion and her bio suit. She had never looked lovelier, more desirable, as far as Janeway was concerned.

"I have charted the upcoming twelve sectors," Seven said and held out a data PADD.

Janeway accepted it and smiled.

"Thank you. So can you give me more than Harry’s rough estimate as to our whereabouts?"

"We are in practically uncharted territory, Captain. It consists mostly of L-class planets with low technology inhabitants, none of them space fairing species. The Borg does not come here."

Janeway gave a crooked smile.

"Am I to assume this might be a quite neighbourhood then, Seven?"

"I can not guarantee that."

Janeway laughed and then sipped her coffee.

"I know that."

She motioned for Seven to take a seat next to her on the couch.

"Computer, privacy look on my door and my comm badge, authorisation code Janeway Gamma zero four six eight, interrupt only if there is an emergency or on my mark."

"Privacy lock engaged."

She turned to the blonde sitting ramrod straight next to her.

"Seven, how much do you remember from before we were hurled through space?"

"I remember everything. I possess an eidetic memory, Captain."

"I know, I just wasn’t sure how the damages to your system might have affected it," Janeway explained. "Are you all right? I mean, are you comfortable with the fact that we shared a bed … and a kiss?"

The younger woman cocked her head.

"I am functioning within normal parameters. The Doctor gave me a ‘clean bill of health’ as he put it. As for our personal exchange ... " Seven broke off, a vulnerable expression on her face.

"Yes, go on," Janeway encouraged her.

"The feelings this experienced stirred in me are unfamiliar and yet they did not feel odd. I knew I would not survive as we approached the array. All I wanted was to spend my last days, my last hours with you. I felt that I … belonged here with you."

To hear those words uttered with that cool alto voice that still betrayed such overwhelming emotions was almost more than Janeway could bear. She reached out and pulled Seven into a fierce embrace.

"I thought I was going to lose you and I was not about to let that happen!" she whispered, residual anger in her voice. "I found you on that Borg cube, I made the decision to keep you on Voyager and you are right – you do belong here, with me."

Cupping Seven’s chin, Janeway leaned forward and kissed her. Not the slow, hesitant kiss they had exchanged when Seven was ill, but a deep, passionate kiss with the dancing of tongues and revelling in each other’s taste.

The kiss seemed to go on forever. They clung to each other, rediscovering how entirely good it felt to be in the other woman’s arms, taking the time to explore.

Their hands moved with slow pleasure, enjoying curves and texture of hair, skin and garments.

"I never would have sacrificed you, never," Janeway murmured into Seven’s mouth. "I can’t live without you. I love you, Seven."

The young woman held her impossibly closer and kissed her deeper than before.

"My existence is futile without you, Kathryn," she murmured against Janeway’s dishevelled hair.

"Stay with me."

"Always."

"Promise."

"I give you my word, Kathryn."

They embraced and settled down on the couch in each other’s arms.

Janeway’s comm badge gave a muted beep.

"Chakotay to Janeway – sorry to override your privacy lock, Captain, but this is important."

Making a face, the captain moved in Seven’s arms and tapped her comm badge.

"Go ahead, Commander."

"We received a subspace signal that matches the signature pattern of the array. It contains a message that is very short and to the point."

Janeway sat up, pulling Seven with her, not about to let go of the young woman.

"Read it to me, Chakotay."

There was a brief silence and Janeway gazed into Seven’s blue eyes and saw the love she felt for this extraordinary young woman reflected there.

She heard Chakotay clear his throat over the comm system.

"This is what it says, Captain: ‘Your actions showed compassion, loyalty and honour – this is your reward.’"

Thirty thousand light years were some reward.

She smiled inwardly, holding on to the young woman in her arms.

From the perspective of a captain’s lonely heart … Other rewards were better.

*****

The End


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