Rating: NC-17

Summary: Christina, a guarded, ambitious woman on a fast career track, discovers how devastating taking someone for granted can become.

© GB

The kitchen looked as if a bomb had detonated somewhere around the sink.

Pots, bowls and plates were stacked in messy piles together with slicing boards and knives. There were the remnants of opened cans on the kitchen table next to a sticky page, torn out of a magazine.

Christina placed her briefcase on the floor and wiped her brow wearily. She began to pull the hairpins out of the strict hairdo that had kept her blonde hair in place during the day.

She was so damn tired. First she had struggled to finalise the negotiations with the Italian delegation and then her boss had manoeuvred her into joining him and the three enthusiastic gentlemen out to a celebratory dinner.

She rubbed the aching muscles in her neck, making a face at the pain.

She had called Amanda to let her know that she would be late. This had not gone well. After an ominous silence Amanda had hissed something inaudible and hung up the phone.

Christina walked through the hallway towards the bedroom. When she passed the large mirror she neatly put the hairpins in the little ivory box she used for that purpose. A quick glance at her reflection confirmed how she felt; dark rings under her eyes and looking older than her thirty-eight years.

She stopped on the threshold to the bedroom. A shadow on one of the pillows confirmed that Amanda had not waited up for her. She had gone to bed, probably still in a lousy mood.

The tall dark woman she was living with since five years had a temper that could move mountains. She worked as a kindergarten teacher, which she loved. She had a habit of teasing Christina; she would call her the last surviving yuppie from the eighties. The older woman usually laughed along with the joke but sometimes it hurt her feelings.

Christina was frowning and wanted to wake Amanda. It wasn’t the first time she had come home from work and found the apartment turned into a disaster area. She took care of her part of the household chores meticulously, much like she conducted business at the firm. She knew that Amanda regarded her as a nag when she wanted the place to look neat and tidy.

The truth was that the company sometimes demanded that she should entertain business associates. She had not brought anyone home after being thoroughly embarrassed a couple of times when she had stood with her guests in the hallway, regarding the mess Amanda had left behind and inwardly praying for a hole in the floor to open up and swallow her. Christina then realised that she and Amanda defined ‘tidying up’ a bit differently.

The blonde woman turned on her heels and stalked out into the kitchen again. She did not bother to move quietly. If she managed to wake Amanda, her partner could always come out and do the dishes, for instance.

The coffee she had craved after the large meal she suffered through with the Italians burned in the back of her throat.

She opened the fridge, looking for mineral water, when her eyes landed on some bowls and platters covered with cling film. Curiously she took one and removed the cover.

Assorted vegetables, arranged beautifully in even circles were on the plate; asparagus, peas, shredded carrots and broccoli.

Christina frowned and put the plate down on the table behind her. She took out the next plate. Roast beef in large slices, covered with spices and roasted onions surrounded a bed of potato salad.

A more thorough search of the fridge revealed three other dishes on platters as well as a bottle of her favourite wine.

Mystified she put the plates back and closed the fridge. She looked at the mess on the sink.

Slowly raising her hand to cover her mouth she then turned towards the wall where they kept the calendar with their working hours and social commitments.

She walked closer. A big red heart circled Today’s date.

Five years. Today.

"Oh, damn."

Christina leaned her forehead against the cool wall and cursed quietly.

A sudden notion made her walk out to the living room. Amanda had tidied it up perfectly. She had missed that when she passed the door earlier. The small dining table over by the window was set with the best china, of course, and delicate candles stood unlit in beautiful crystal candleholders next to a large bouquet of red roses.

All of sudden she could hear herself, the way she had sounded when she had called home four hours ago; how she had rattled the information that she had to take the Italians out to dinner, really not giving Amanda a chance to object. Instead the younger woman had sounded unusually quiet and first later become angry and slammed down the phone. Or had it really been anger?

Christina returned to the bedroom, dragging her feet behind her.

She switched on her bed light and the soft glow confirmed her suspicions. The proud face with its high cheekbones and feisty expression was wet from tears. Amanda had not only been furious. She had hung up the phone because she had been crying.

Amanda hated to show her tears to anyone, even Christina. Or perhaps, the blonde suddenly realised, especially to her partner?

The blonde woman shivered at the thought. She raised her hand with trepidation and pushed a dark tress from the tall forehead on the pillow.

From the first time she had laid eyes on Amanda, Christina thought the dark haired girl was the most beautiful woman she had ever seen. She was so full of life, so unlike Christina who was more introvert. The blonde thought Amanda was utterly irresistible, addictive even.

They had met during a local film festival where they had literally collided at the popcorn stand. Christina’s box of popcorn had rained over them and Amanda had laughingly apologised and bought her a new one.

It had not taken them long to recognise the mutual attraction. Christina found the other woman incredibly charming and stunningly sexy. Amanda had let her emotions guide her as usual and overwhelmed Christina with her passion.

Now Amanda stirred in her sleep.

Christina leaned over her and kissed the swollen eyelids.

"I’m sorry, darling," she mumbled huskily. "This was unforgivable of me. I should have remembered …"

Amanda slowly opened her eyes and regarded her sleepily.

"I got so upset," she whispered. "I thought …"

"You thought I didn’t care about our day. I had forgotten but that’s no excuse." Christina shook her head sadly. "I’m so hopeless sometimes," she stated, biting her lip.

Amanda studied her for a couple of breathless seconds and then she wrapped a long, slender arm around Christina’s neck. Without hesitation she pulled her down into the bed beside her, kissing her.

"You’re here now," she whispered. "It’s all that matters. You’re home."

"Yes, I am," Christina whispered back and pulled off her suit jacket. "Let me take a shower, darling. I reek of cigar smoke."

"I know," Amanda said, wrinkling her nose in mock distaste.

Eager hands helped her out of her clothes.

Amanda got up, dressed in skimpy lace panties and a tank top. She nudged Christina towards the bathroom.

"Go on."

When Christina returned after quickly scrubbing off both the remnants from the Italian’s cigars and some of the lingering inner turmoil, Amanda was sitting up in bed, holding out a glass of wine, smiling angelically.

"Here," she said, a small catch in her voice.

Christina took the glass and they raised them quietly. ‘To us’ Christina mouthed silently and the faint smile on Amanda’s lips tore at her heart.

She put her glass down and leaned in for a kiss, wanting to close the distance in more ways than one.

Amanda abruptly pulled her close in a tight embrace and then Christina was on her back in the queen size bed.

Amanda’s hands and lips were everywhere, kissing her forehead, cheeks and chin. An impatient tongue then parted the blonde’s lips and found its way into her mouth. Breathless with arousal and relief that she seemed forgiven, Christina returned the kiss with all the love she felt for gorgeous creature.

When her own family had questioned her choice of partner, Amanda had stood up against them with fervour. It was this was this loyal, patient woman who had gone with Christina to all the treatments she had had to endure when she had been ill two years ago. Amanda was also the person who encouraged and supported her partner when a colleague of Christina’s had kept harassing her, almost making her lose her job at the firm six months ago.

Now Christina rose in bed, capturing Amanda’s face between her perfectly manicured hands and holding her. Her eyes registered every beloved feature of the face, gazing at Amanda for so long; a frown emerged between her partner’s dark eyebrows.

"What’s the matter, Christina?" Amanda inquired worriedly. "Is something wrong?"

Christina smiled with trembling lips.

"No, my darling, nothing’s wrong. On the contrary, you’re so beautiful it makes me ache inside. I’ve been taking you for granted, haven’t I? I haven’t been honest. I’ve buried myself in work instead of telling you the truth."

"The truth?" Amanda’s said, her voice tinged with concern.

"The truth is that you’re the only thing in my life that really means anything. Without you, all the rest is worthless."

Amanda smiled tremulously and tears filled her eyes.

"You are who you are, Christina," she admitted quietly. "You’re an intelligent and ambitious woman. Your work means a lot to you."

Christina pulled the younger woman close.

"Yes, all that is true," she admitted darkly. "But my work is only important because I can share my success with you. Nothing feels real, or has any meaning, if I can’t come home and tell you about it. Do you understand what I mean? Without you, it’s just … empty."

She placed a finger under Amanda’s chin and turned her face up. Slowly she leaned down and kissed the dark haired woman’s trembling lips, over and over.

"I love you," she mumbled against the velvety surface. "You mean everything to me, my heart."

Amanda sobbed and pulled Christina down onto the bed again.

"Love me," she breathed, her voice full of tears and emotions. "Make love to me, Christina."

Overwhelmed by the passion the husky words evoked in her, Christina nodded briefly and embraced Amanda. Without words she let the dark haired woman capture one of her breasts and close her greedy lips around the nipple.

She knew that Amanda found her full breasts irresistible, that she enjoyed stimulating them no end until her beloved was trembling and asking for mercy. The blonde guessed that suckling them stirred both arousal and comfort in Amanda. Christina in turn loved it; nothing turned her on as much as Amanda’s mouth right there.

She let her arms surround Amanda, holding her tightly as the other woman let her mouth devour her nipples.

"Oh." She could not remain quiet.

A soft moan escaped her and Amanda smiled around the nipple. Lingeringly the hot mouth switched to the other breast, small white teeth teasing her before the full lips surrounded her again.

"Amanda," Christina whispered throatily. "Oh, Amanda …"

She shifted a bit, changed her position so that she could stroke along Amanda’s body. Without hesitation, sure that she could find her partner more than ready, she let her finger move between the other woman’s thighs. She found the swollen folds slick with moisture.

Amanda spread her legs willingly.

"Oh, yes … please …"

Christina smiled breathlessly. Her fingers moved with firmness, caressing the aching, swollen nubbin. She rolled it, over and over, in little circles, keeping the pace even. Amanda gasped and let her mouth work slower, harder.

Christina knew that this evening she would reach her orgasm just by the attention Amanda kept paying her breasts. She could feel it starting within her and she tensed, not wanting to climax too quickly.

She wanted Amanda to come first. She wanted to hold the other woman in her arms and savour her pleasure, letting the moment of perfection send her over the edge.

As if her wish had been vocalised she felt Amanda begin to tremble in her arms. Christina let her fingers go inside, fill her beloved. Amanda wrapped her arms around Christina’s neck and raised her hips against the tantalising touch.

Her own orgasm was inevitable when Amanda’s inner muscles contracted around her fingers, clenching them hard. Her partner whimpered her name over and over as she rode the intrusive hand.

Christina held the dark haired woman closer and moaned out loud. A gradual tingling sensation suddenly burst into flames in her groin. At the same time an icy sensation seemed to expand from her tormented nipples and add to the fireworks. The elegant blonde gave a short muted cry and doubled over around her beloved, if possible pushing her fingers even deeper in between Amanda’s folds.

Amanda didn’t let go of her breast until they both had stopped shivering.

Slowly they curled up together, Amanda still half on top of Christina in a sweaty pile. It was not very comfortable but they were both reluctant to let go of each other.

"I’m grateful," Amanda mumbled and yawned.

"What for, darling? For this?" the blonde asked, reaching down for the tousled sheet and the bed cover, carefully tucking them both in. She pulled Amanda closer, helping the younger woman in position with her back towards Christina, as was their favourite way of falling asleep.

Amanda turned her head, kissing her softly. Christina returned the kiss, conveying everything she felt in a long embrace.

"Yes, but not just this. I know I don’t say it much, but I am grateful … for everything. For you, Christina."

"Five years, Amanda," Christina murmured against her partner’s hair. "Five years with you, with your love and friendship. Now, that’s something to be grateful for."

*****

The End