Seven
of Nine, the tertiary adjunct of Unimatrix Zero, stood before her Captain
rigidly, because she was nervous. She had been serving on the USS Voyager for
almost seven years as a part of the vessel's journey to the Alpha Quadrant. An
ongoing journey that started ten years ago when a being called the Caretaker
whisked the Intrepid class vessel and the Maquis ship it was chasing, away from
the Badlands and into the dangerous Delta Quadrant.
The USS
Voyager and its crew have been journeying home ever since that initial incident.
Their greatest chance to get to Earth earlier than the estimated 70 years, came
three years before when they came across a Borg transwarp hub. Unfortunately,
they couldn't utilize it because there had been over 47 Borg signatures inside
the nebula, which disguised the fact that the huge conduit led to different
areas of the galaxy including the Alpha Quadrant and Earth.
Despite, Ensign Harry Kim's enthusiasm, they simply
could not come up with a plan to get the ship through without being destroyed
and the one option that Janeway had considered and would have implemented had
they all agreed upon, was quickly rebuked by her senior staff with Seven of Nine
being the strongest proponent against the Captain's suicidal suggestion.
Seven
could not and would not let her Captain sacrifice her life to get them home even
if it would greatly devastate the Borg collective in this sector of space. Seven
had come to care for her too much. She could not lose her best friend and
Captain. The concept of that loss was shockingly overwhelming to the young
woman. Although she was dating Commander Chakotay at that time in her life, she
felt an inexplicable emptiness with regards to her relationship with the Captain
as they spent less and less time together, but she couldn't pinpoint the exact
reasons why.
The
first four years she spent on Voyager were a difficult transition for her. She
made small steps forward and large steps backwards before her hard efforts to
regain her humanity finally paid off, supposedly by engaging in a romantic
relationship with Voyager's first officer. She had courted Commander Chakotay
for six months and although she did not know if she was 'in love' with
him, as the humans called it, he had asked her to marry him. In her dating
infancy, she did not consider any other possible mates on Voyager and not
wanting to admit to failure or disappoint her Captain in her goal to become more
human, she complied, not truly knowing what else to do.
As of
today, Seven had been married to Chakotay for two years, eleven months, 27 days,
21 hours and 33 minutes. This partnership was supposed to make her more human.
The act of intimacy, of giving and receiving love both emotionally and
physically was the final lesson. However, Seven did not exactly feel that she
had learned that lesson properly. She still did not feel completely human or
whole and she was at a loss to explain why she had failed.
From
the beginning of their marriage after Seven realized that she was not achieving
the level of satisfaction that research indicated she should from copulation,
she had brought it up in a discussion that became heated. Chakotay seemed
wounded and had taken exception to it, so from then on she kept quiet about the
subject.
After
that lack of understanding, the sex between them on her part, was merely a
formality to the marriage that Seven felt obligated to give into despite her
emotional despondency to it. The mechanics of the act was always the same if not
particularly loving. The climax he brought her to was not the all-encompassing
extravaganza that humans had led it to be. Not for her. Not until Seven
started fantasizing about another.
It
started as a harmless dream that turned erotic over the course of a month before
the visions invaded her personal time with her husband. In a careless moment,
she had let her thoughts drift during sex. She oddly thought of being intimate
with another and when the moment of release came, she cried out at the
unexpected intensity of it. Her body had responded animatedly to the mere
thought of being intimate with a person other than her husband and it both
excited and frightened her.
Was
something wrong with her? Was she being unfaithful?
It was
a strange development for her and difficult for her analytical mind to
comprehend why such a thing would occur in the first place. After contemplating
it for many more months as it continued to occur, both in her dreams and during
intimacy, it was obvious that she had strong hidden feelings for her dream
lover. Realizing that she should have pursued that individual all those years
ago only made Seven feel utter regret and anger at her ignorance and failure to
do so. Now it was too late. The individual was simply unavailable,
mentioning it to Seven often, clearly forbidding that aspect of life for duty
alone.
Seven
did not dwell on it any further and simply accepted the pleasure she received
from the mental visions of the person she believed she loved because it was the
only satisfaction she got from the sexual interaction with her husband.
It had
been an amiable relationship if not passionate until she found out one year ago
by the Doctor that she could not have children due to her time as a Borg. She
did not have the proper reproductive organs to allow it, due to her assimilation
as a child.
Chakotay had talked animatedly about having children
only a few months after they had gotten married, but they agreed to wait to
allow Seven the time to adjust to being married. When Seven finally gave
in to the pressure years later, she scheduled a checkup with the Doctor to make
sure everything was ok biologically, but it wasn't.
Her
husband was more than disappointed when she broke the news to him. She
even remembered the way he had looked at her after she explained why. As if
being an ex-Borg who couldn't conceive for him was all her fault in his eyes and
his marriage to her had been a wasted effort. After all the time they had been
together, even if they weren't in love, how could he be so judgmental and
selfish? It had hurt Seven, but it did not devastate her. She did
not love him enough for that.
He
failed to notice her disappointment for not being able to have children for him
or perhaps it didn't matter. Truthfully, Seven did not want to have children
with him, but she would have complied with the vows that she took during
their marriage ceremony. Regardless of her loyalty and compliance, things were
never the same after that and although he tried to continue on from there, he
could not go back to the way things were.
The sex
stopped immediately, but Seven did not miss it. Intimacy had never been what she
expected it to be and she still had her dream lover, which nothing could take
away from her except death itself.
So
without love and understanding, their marriage was doomed and after almost
another year of misery Chakotay finally asked for a divorce. She would not
have asked for one, despite their emotional and physical separation.
She was
loyal to her word and would have given him anything he required, even distance.
Seven had wondered if he married her just so he could have strong sons and
daughters. In order to carry on his name, his genetics. Perhaps, he wasn't
in love with her either, but Seven understood that. She cared for
him deeply, but never 'fell in love' with him either.
He
never verbally clarified exactly why he wanted a divorce, but then again he
didn't have to. He wanted children she couldn't give him and he didn't love her
enough to overcome that defect.
Unfortunately, Seven had to break that news to her
Captain, who would be, no doubt, greatly disappointed in the blonde.
"Seven," the Captain's voice broke the young woman's
history lesson to herself and her mind came back to the present. "What can I do
for you?" Janeway asked easily sitting back in the sofa seat of her Ready Room
on the upper level. She was relaxed, Seven noted. The Captain had one arm
stretched out along the top of the sofa with her legs crossed and her other hand
clutching a PADD while it rested on her lap.
"Am I
interrupting you, Captain?"
"This?"
She glanced the PADD in her hand. "Oh, no. Between you and me, I loathe
efficiency reports." She set it down on the glass table in front of the
couch.
Seven
assessed the Captain's mood. An important aspect to consider before she
spoke. The auburn haired woman seemed calm and relaxed. Her face light and
easy, with a slight smile adorning her classical features. Her eyes were more
blue than grey, always a good sign. Seven had notated on more than one
occasion that the Captain's eyes turned grey when she was visibly upset or
angered. Seven didn't want her angry now. It was bad enough the Captain would
probably be immensely disappointed in her.
Over
the years, Seven had become more docile in her opposition with the Captain
during disagreements. Risking disappointment bothered Seven more and more, so
she rarely argued heatedly with Janeway anymore. The young woman was initially
perplexed at the hidden power that Janeway had developed over her but as time
went along Seven eventually understood why.
I
have changed, Seven thought. My
perception of her and my feelings have grown and intensified. She speculated
mildly but none of it mattered except rank and duty. It was pointless to
hope for something that could not happen, so
Seven decided to get to the purpose of her visit.
"Chakotay has asked me for a divorce." She blurted out.
The
words hung in the air.
Instantly, Janeway's smile disappeared. "I'm so sorry
Seven." Sadness etched its mark on her face. "I didn't realize there were any
problems in your marriage." She added sympathetically. Janeway wasn't being
entirely truthful and it wasn't her business to say anything, but she had
noticed a growing distance between them for some time.
"I
understand that no marriage is perfect, Captain, but Chakotay has not been happy
for the past year. I think he finally realized that I would not have asked him
for a divorce despite his increasing efforts to ignore me."
Janeway
frowned at that. "Are you telling me you've been unhappy being with him for over
a year, yet you stayed married to him?"
"Yes,"
Seven didn't elaborate that she had never been what she would define as
'happy' for the entire time she had been married, but there was no reason
to tell that to her Captain and friend and add to her failure.
"Has he
been treating you all right?" Janeway asked cautiously.
"He has
been… fair."
"Do you
want me to talk to him?"
"For
what purpose, Captain? He is not in love with me and I cannot give him the
offspring he requires."
Janeway
looked aghast. "Certainly that can't be true! You've been married for
almost three years! I refuse to believe he would marry you just so he could have
children!"
"It is
true, Kathryn." Seven assured gently. "You are my friend, I would not lie to you
about this. It is how I feel."
"Do you
love him, Seven?"
"No, I
am not in love with him and I have never enjoyed intimacy with him either." She
admitted to her Captain and promptly lowered her head in shame. "I am sorry
Kathryn. I have failed you."
"What
are you talking about?!" The Captain was staggered by Seven's declaration of
failure. She hasn't failed me! Why would she think that?! Kathryn
thought her mouth agape.
"You
wanted for me to become fully human. Understanding love is the greatest way to
accomplish that. I do not comprehend this and I have failed at my marriage
to your best friend."
"You
haven't failed at anything!" Janeway derided her for thinking such a thing. "If
anything it's Chakotay's fault. If he can't see that what he has… that what he's
had for these last few years is precious, then he is truly blind and undeserving
of you! You have done nothing wrong. Your not being able to have children should
not even factor into the breakup of your marriage." Fuming, she vented her ire
because of Chakotay's role in this. How could he treat Seven like this? How
could he treat MY girl like this?!
"That
is very kind of you to say." Seven remarked, quietly pleased.
"It's
the truth, Seven. You deserve better than that. I will admit though, I
don't understand why you married him, if you weren't in love with him. Why did
you accept it Seven?" Janeway was more than just curious, her heart was asking
as well.
"I was…
lonely. I… I had no other prospects. I did not know what else to do? I do
care for him, just not like…" Seven froze not finishing the sentence, realizing
what she had almost said.
Not
like I care for you…
The
blonde ached for another and had for so many years but those feelings were not
reciprocated and she also thought it was inappropriate to have such emotions, so
she buried them deep within.
"Seven?" Janeway noticed the reticence.
"Captain, do you still love me?" She asked skeptical.
"Despite my failure."
Janeway's heart lurched in her chest before she stood
and took Seven's hand in her own. "Of course, you know we're friends." She
agreed affably. "Always."
Seven
smiled. "I do not wish to insult you, Kathryn, but… if you were male, I would
have wanted to marry you." Seven squeezed the Captain's hand to acknowledge the
bond they had between them.
"That's
a sweet thing to say Seven and I'm not insulted, not in the slightest." Janeway
felt touched and uncomfortable at the same time over the profound affirmation of
love. She hadn't expected it and swallowed her long hidden emotion down
hard. If Seven meant what she said, it was a good thing the blonde didn't
realize that they could've been an item despite their gender, if not for her
rank. It was the 24th century and those biases were long
gone.
Their
eyes met, looking deep. Something unspoken passed between them. Seven
eventually grew unsettled with the scrutiny and the silence.
"Thank
you, for your time, Captain." Seven removed her hand and exited the Ready
room.
The
lingering gaze of the Captain's held such regret.
The
next day, Janeway decided to have a little discussion with her first officer in
the Ready Room, regarding his personal affairs.
"I
can't Kathryn!" Chakotay pleaded his face pained at his inability to sustain his
marriage. He wasn't able to give Seven what she needed and that was that. "I'm
sorry."
"You're
sorry!? What about her!? Have you strung her along all this time hoping you'd
get some children out of the deal!" Janeway leaned over her Ready room
desk glaring at her first officer and long time friend as he sat guiltily in the
chair.
"Of
course not!" he defended. "I care for her. I do... its just that… " He looked at
his hands. "When I look at her now… all I see is Borg and what they've done to
her… to us! I can't see the woman anymore."
He
really was sorry, Kathryn could see that, but she couldn't feel sorry for him
and his short-sighted selfishness. What about how Seven felt? What about the
price she paid having been Borg for over 18 years of her life?
"The
Borg have done nothing to you! Seven is the one who has suffered for so many
years and this is how you repay her loyalty, her dedication to you! This is
about acceptance, understanding and love, not her being Borg and certainly not
her inability to have children."
Janeway
could forgive him for what she herself had been put through, but her heart would
not forgive him for what he put Seven through.
Janeway
glared at him. "You're obviously not in love with her! Why the hell did you
marry her in the first place?!"
"Excuse
me?!" The tattooed first officer exclaimed.
"You
heard me. Why?!"
"I
don't know… " Chakotay answered in shock over her disproportionate animosity.
"It seemed like the right thing to do. I didn't want to remain alone for the
rest of the journey to the Alpha Quadrant. I figured love would come in
time."
"You
dated her for six months. I think if you were going to fall in love with her, it
might've come in that time!"
"Maybe
it's simple for you to deny yourself companionship for the next twenty years or
so Kathryn, but I have needs…" He stood up, his face stern. "I won't apologize
for that!"
"You
married her so you could sleep with her!? Just for sex!!?" This information was
almost too much for Janeway to bear. She was very protective of Seven to a fault
and being in love with the blonde made her very biased as well.
"I'm
not that cold, Kathryn. I do have feelings for her."
"What
kind of feelings would that be exactly?" Janeway crossed her arms
furious.
"I
don't have to justify my personal choices to you!" He spat out. "Frankly
Captain, I don't know how you do it being alone all the time and I don't care.
You want to deprive yourself of a basic human need because you're afraid of
breaking a suggested Starfleet rule you go ahead, I won't."
"You
don't have to justify anything to me, but using Seven to fulfill your needs if
you weren't in love with her was wrong!"
"At
least I tried to love her!" He finished saying and stormed out.
Janeway
winced. The words cut deep. She flopped back down in her chair rubbing her face
with her hands in somber contemplation.
He
didn't understand anything. It had been so hard. He had no idea the
sacrifices she had made because of her duty as Captain. Having to watch them
court each other for so many months while she kept her distance, practically
decimated her at first. Janeway kept telling herself that it was just a fling, a
harmless infatuation that Seven would soon outgrow. Chakotay was never that warm
to Seven, so she figured it couldn't last. Janeway couldn't have been more wrong
and it took the Captain many months to recover somewhat emotionally so the loss
only burned as a dull ache. Eventually, with Tuvok's guidance and meditation
techniques, she was able to bury her emotions enough so she could function
effectively as Captain.
Now,
thanks to Chakotay's words, a flood of strong, repressed emotions came forward,
out of hiding to temporarily overwhelm the auburn haired Captain. Trying to
breath in and out to calm herself down, she continued to cover her face with her
hands as she remembered how her feelings began and the subsequent
suffering.
At
first, she had dreams of kissing Seven but she acknowledged them as a
happenstance, an aberration until she started dreaming of making love to Seven,
but she refused to speculate why she had such dreams and visions.
When
her first officer stepped in and took Seven as his mate, Janeway didn't handle
it well and the emotions that she locked up and refused to acknowledge were now
tormenting her. How could she have been so blind?
After
they were married, Seven moved into Chakotay's quarters which were right next
door. Janeway could have sworn the walls were paper-thin. She had jealous
nightmares over having to hear Chakotay's pleasure filled romps with his wife
during the long quiet nights. At first, she only heard him, but after a
month or so, Seven's cries were heard and eventually became loud enough to
disturb the Captain's fragile equilibrium. Seven did not know of propriety
and the vocalizations of her pleasure, although not loud, easily traveled
through the walls and to her delicate ears. Janeway completely tuned out
Chakotay's grunts.
He
obviously doesn't deserve her. Janeway
fumed in her jealousy.
It
drove the Captain nuts to have to deal with their making love next door to her
almost every night. Chakotay her dear friend for so many years was making
love to the woman the Captain loved more than anything, she realized. Loved
enough to give her up to him because of her rank and responsibility to her ship,
Starfleet and the Federation.
Looking back on those terrible years, was that price too
high? It seemed so.
How she
cursed that duty when Chakotay announced they were getting married. She was
happy for Seven, if it was what the young woman wanted. Janeway had
thought at the time, that Chakotay was an honorable man and that he would do
right by Seven despite the knife that was slowly being driven through her lonely
aching heart by their joining.
Janeway
was ashamed to admit it, but the only way for her to survive the nights would be
to participate in her own way. She had to or the jealousy would have consumed
her, despite the fact that it was her choice never to reveal her feelings to
Seven. Janeway had no way of knowing if Seven would have reciprocated
three years ago, because she did not ask. She had an inkling that the young
woman would have, but something prevented her from saying anything and she used
her Captaincy as the main excuse. She paid dearly for that mistake.
Having
to hear their sexual activity, Janeway knew she could alleviate her sexual
tension with a very simple and proven method. All she had to do was wait
for the beginning moans of Seven then fantasize that she was making love to the
young woman and vice versa. Janeway would follow suit motioning inside herself
until Seven came, the subdued cries of pleasure causing Janeway to explode out
in her own orgasm, always in tune with Seven's climax. It was at that brief
moment of release that she found some peace in her situation, until the waves
ebbed down and she realized the cold harsh reality. Her beloved was in the arms
of another. She would whisper 'I love you,' into the silent lonely
night and quiet tears would come to her weakened soul.
It got
her through the difficult times of having to hear the sexuality between them for
those first two years. The act, seemed satisfying for them, based on the
sounds they made, but never seemed over the top. Then, about a year ago,
she stopped hearing them. She almost missed not being able to hear Seven and
wondered what had happened, but Kathryn never said anything regarding their
personal problems or lack of intimacy unless Seven brought it up needing
clarification in a late night conversation. She found out a lot more than she
wanted to during those discussions. For the most part, Seven spoke to her
Captain rarely regarding her marriage, but frequently she did broach the topic
of intimacy.
It made
Janeway curious and nervous to talk about that subject with the younger woman,
but she hid her emotional distress. The Captain had to admit that she never
bothered to administer sexually to herself before she started hearing Seven next
door. She hadn't needed to back then, but just the sounds of Seven's ecstasy
could make Janeway come more often than not without any assistance.
Despite
her limited pleasure, Janeway wished she had had the courage to give the younger
woman a reason not to marry Chakotay. Perhaps she would have been the
lucky one with Seven in her bed if she had.
Seven
chimed for admittance to the Captain's quarters. It had been three days since
she had discussed her divorce with the Captain, but she was still
unsettled. She needed a philosophical discussion and Janeway was very
agreeable to them. Even with regards to questions or problems Seven had
with intimacy, Janeway would give her advice. Seven always wondered why
Janeway's voice got huskier and her eyes became slightly glazed over when they
talked about sex, but the blonde woman discarded it as a coincidence.
"I
guess I will remain alone, for the rest of my days." Seven stated with
forlornness as she stood in front of the Captain.
"You
don't know that Seven." Janeway replied keeping her tone even. She had
been lounging in her chair reading Dante's Inferno when Seven came in, but
Kathryn's concentration on her novel was difficult as her mind kept drifting to
Seven and Chakotay.
"No, I
will never understand what it is to be in love because I do not believe anyone
will ever truly love me." Her voice sounded defeated and she turned her face
away. "For who I am."
Stunned, her heart pounding loudly in her ears, Janeway
gave Seven an odd look of complete consternation. "Why would you say that,
Seven?!"
"It is
unimportant." She stated quietly with regret at bothering Janeway with her
insecurities. It would accomplish nothing.
"No,"
Janeway put her book down and went to Seven, taking her hand gently between both
of her own. "It isn't. Tell me… please."
Janeway
normally wouldn't have asked, but two things were currently bothering her. She
was still smoldering from what Chakotay had said. 'At least I tried to love
her!' the words had haunted her for the past two days. Her first officer had
no idea the hidden depth of emotional pain his words had brought out thus
opening the buried passion in Janeway's heart and lowering her already
precarious defenses.
She was
deeply affected directly by Seven's current plea. How can I let Seven go on
thinking she isn't loved!?
The
blonde looked down as she studied their hands intertwined. "The only person I
truly love is… incompatible, Kathryn." Seven warily brought her sad sparkling
gaze up to Janeway's face hoping she did not give away the strength of her
desire towards the older woman.
That
way she just looked at me… Janeway
glared dumbfounded at Seven. Could she be referring to me?! Suddenly, she
remembered the words Seven had spoken just a few days ago. 'If you were
male, I would have married you.'
Losing her normally strong hold on propriety,
Janeway's eyes met Seven's crystal blue eyes with a hunger Seven had never seen
before. It made the young woman flush hard, but she refused to look away,
as a strong longing for Kathryn overcame her.
She
IS referring to ME!! She had meant it… literally!!
Janeway
knew in that instant that Seven really had intense feelings for her. She
had suspected for some time, but did not want to believe in it due to her own
stubbornness.
"That's
not entirely true Seven. There are ways..." Janeway shook her head, noticing
Seven's confusion as to what she was talking about, but her eyes did not deviate
from Kathryn's.
"Kathryn?" Seven called out, questioning both Janeway's
choice of words and why she was staring so intently at her.
Hearing
her birth name brought Janeway back to the present, out of her libidinous trance
and back into the live gaze of the one she truly loved. Incompatible!?
Janeway recanted in her mind. Take a chance! Her mind screamed at
her. Her hormones were dangerously close to warp.
"Incompatible you say. Oh, no. I don't think so. Male or
female, we are… VERY compatible!" Her control vanished, her emotions came to the
forefront engulfing her with a volcanic intensity that she could not
deny.
Without
permission, Janeway threw her arms around Seven and leaned up to kiss a
wide-eyed Seven of Nine. Janeway pressed wantonly into the kiss, deepening the
contact as their lips touched for the first time. Janeway's mouth fastened over
the blonde's lips coaxing them open. When their wet tongues collided for the
first time, fire engulfed their bodies, nerve endings simmered and hearts were
overloaded with passion.
Seven
whimpered into Kathryn's mouth as Janeway groaned in response, both women
completely losing track of all conscious thought, time and location.
Somehow
they ended up on the Captain's double bed lip locked and feeling each other's
body generously regardless of their restrictive clothing, preparing to make
passionate love. Somehow their clothing came off between heavy kisses and
groping hands to casually rest on the carpeted floor. Somehow their bodies ended
up on top of one another with hands and mouths sliding luxuriously over heated
skin, the two participants baking in the need to complete their
coupling.
There
were trails of kisses down bare chests and soft cries of pleasure. There
were moans as hot tongues seared wetly over hardened nipples to suckle on them
avidly. Eventually, the soft, tender fleshy protrusions were completely covered
with the warm haven of a moist mouth.
The bed
moved to the motions of the occupants, creaking ever so lightly to their dance
of love. Janeway caressed the young woman's tongue as they undulated with hips
in rhythmus synch.
Seven
was basking in the beating of their hearts while she was moving inside her
lover. Janeway was lost in the jagged breathing of her beloved as she filled the
blonde's wet center. The sex was pure, fiery and passionate, but not rushed or
frantic.
They
were united as one. Melting hot kisses were exchanged during the entire process
of their sexual union. Only parting for seconds because of the need for
oxygen. They were high on each other, connecting in body and spirit. A
drug, called love, so intoxicating it brought them to incredible heights.
Mesmerized by the intensive joining of flesh and
feelings, both women gasped inside each other's mouths when the sensations
reached a fever pitch. Then it was upon them, their sexes' spasming and
clenching, the force shaking their bodies and breaking their lips apart. The
wave of pure pleasure built itself up, starting from their wet folds, rising up
through their abdomens tensing the muscles there, moving down their legs,
causing thighs to quiver in its wake, moving higher still, becoming fuller,
moving up along their heaving chests, expanding, until the wave spread out to
enclose their entire beings. Finally, it reached their brains and seared them in
its intensity as valleys were flooded with juices and a crescendo of currents
and rolling tides gushed over the two star-crossed lovers.
Seven
roared out her pleasure louder than Janeway had ever heard her before and
Kathryn was caught up in her own ecstasy wailing out her own
vocalizations.
An
euphoric eternity later, they laid together, completely drained of energy,
resting in the afterglow of their physical and emotional union, each wondering
what it meant for their future.
The
next morning Janeway was livid with herself for taking advantage of Seven while
in such a vulnerable state and subsequently sleeping with her. The divorce
proceedings weren't going to take place for another two weeks.
Good
god! I had an affair with the young woman! Seven is still married! All my morals
went out the airlock because of one night of uncontrollable lust and desire! How
could I have done such a thing?! How could I be so careless?!
Janeway
let her sin rule her heart instead of the joy and completeness she had felt
after being joined physically with the love of her life after so long.
Janeway
held nothing back during their shared moment of passion, she couldn't help but
show the younger woman how much she loved her and although Seven had more than
adequately reciprocated, Janeway refused to speculate too much into how strongly
Seven felt about her emotionally.
A peace
overcame Janeway after their coupling like no other. It was like coming
home, but she would not let herself be happy. She felt as if she were
letting the crew down, which was completely absurd because the crew were pairing
off finding acceptable mates themselves in light of the long journey ahead.
It was
not wrong for the Captain to take a mate. Many of the crew had verbalized
their approval. Seventy percent of the crew had found mates and there were
half a dozen children onboard already. They had expected her to
eventually, but years later she still had not. They contemplated why she
would not take a mate. They would not have judged her, not after ten isolated
years in the Delta Quadrant.
After
Voyager had been in the Delta Quadrant for over five years, unbeknownst to
Janeway, the crew had been taking bets on whom she would most likely pair up
with if she let herself do so. The percentages were steadily growing and
the crew chose Seven by 82% until Chakotay asked the blonde to marry him.
Many were surprised, even the cadets and crewmen on the lower decks.
Chakotay always seemed cold to her and indifferent for so many years. Why would
he marry her? Even after they had been dating for over five months, the
pool was still at 75% in Janeway's favor. Most thought that somehow Janeway
would still end up with the ex-Borg.
The
crew just figured it was a fling for the Commander. That he was just infatuated
by her beauty and physical appeal, which almost everyone agreed upon was a
strong allure. It wasn't supposed to last though and everyone assumed that
Seven would move on. It puzzled many as to why the Captain didn't make her
feelings known earlier to the young woman. It was so obvious what she felt
for the ex-drone, to everyone except Seven, yet the redhead made no
attempt.
Sometimes Janeway's strong will, which made her an
excellent Captain, also made her an unreasonably stubborn person in her personal
affairs.
So here
she was stoically reminding herself of her duty when she called Seven to her
quarters around mid-morning.
"Seven,
I can't have a relationship with you." Janeway revealed painfully blunt, her
back to Seven as the young woman systematically clutched her hands behind her
tightly.
"What?"
The former drone asked befuddled, not expecting this.
"I'm
sorry, last night never should have happened. I'm the Captain, you’re one
of my crew, under my command and technically you're still married. It's
wrong."
Seven's
chest heaved in anger over Janeway's casual attitude towards what was the best
evening of passion and love the ex-Borg ever had.
"Why
did you initiate intimacy with me then!?" Seven asked heatedly, fearing the cold
reality of loss overwhelm her for the first time.
"I…
"Janeway was momentarily confounded, realizing that she had instigated the act.
"You were a willing participant. You've could've stopped me! Why didn't
you stop me?" Janeway spat out blaming Seven because she did not want to declare
her undying love for the young woman. She would never be able to do this
then, as it was already incredibly difficult to begin with.
"ME?!"
Seven exclaimed breathily. "I couldn't. I wouldn't have… I am in love with you.
I… believe I have been for awhile, but I did not truly comprehend the emotion
until now… after being with you… " Seven stared at Janeway imploringly. "I
deemed it inappropriate to feel that way towards you, especially since I was
already married by the time I realized I had strong feelings for you not
Chakotay. Time passed and we spent less of our personal time with each other…
and you never said anything to me so I assumed you had no romantic feelings for
me… "
Janeway
refused to hear those words that curled around her heart making this so much
harder. She turned to look at Seven, ashamed, but determined. "You're still
married and I... I betrayed my best friend…"
"You
have betrayed no one!" Seven expressed sharply. "Yes, I am still married and
technically I was also unfaithful as I let you seduce me. However, I do not
regret either. A legal document cannot be expected to dictate what is in my
heart and it has been over for me and Chakotay for almost a year and in two
weeks, I will be free of that restriction as well." She took in a shaky
breath. "And… I wish to pursue a relationship with you."
Janeway
cringed inside. Oh, she was making this so difficult! "This
can't be Seven and you know it."
"Kathryn… " Seven tried, ignoring the finality in her
Captain's tone. "Please… Will you reconsider after my divorce?" Seven offered
calmly, still hoping.
"No… "
Came the succinct but weak reply.
"Why!?"
Seven shouted outraged by Janeway's behavior. "How could you tease me with
something so perfect… only to take it away! I finally find out what true love
can be, what true intimacy is between two people and you toss me away just like
he is doing!"
Janeway
expelled a tentative breath. "You know that's not true!" Janeway rebuked
strongly despite it being somewhat truthful. She had slept with the blonde and
was now leaving her high and dry.
"You
are just using your rank as Captain as an excuse!"
"No I
am not!"
"Then
you are afraid to love me because I am Borg? Or perhaps because I cannot have
children?!"
"No,
that would NEVER be a problem for me, but it's NOT appropriate for me to
fraternize with a member of my crew!" Janeway recanted the same lame
excuse.
"Yes, I
am aware of that non-existent Starfleet regulation." Seven mocked her in anger.
"Seven…
" Janeway warned.
"It is
your choice to make. You are in control here. You are always in control. I have
no say in the matter, but you know how I feel and that will NEVER change.
Certainly not now, because I am painfully aware that you have feelings for me.
Deny them if you wish… if you must, but I felt them yesterday."
"Don’t
do this… " Janeway beseeched her softly, her face contorted into a tortured look
full of woe.
"I have
handed you my heart Kathryn." Seven professed anguished as tears formed. "Now it
is up to you to decide what to do with it!"
"Please
stop… " Kathryn begged, placing a shaky hand over her eyes. She could not
look at Seven's tear filled face.
"If I
have to wait until we set foot on your planet earth before you will consider us…
or until you resign from Starfleet… then I WILL wait!" Seven meant her words,
she would wait if necessary despite how emotionally painful it would be. She
loved the auburn haired woman and her heart would not let her do anything
else.
The
blonde turned and stormed out of the Captain's quarters, with Janeway's chest
aching and heaving in an anguish she had never felt before.
"No…
"
The
Captain sobbed in utter desolation for the first time in her life.
Tossing
and turning in her bed, Janeway couldn't sleep and she had an awful night of
pure restlessness. All she could think about was Seven's biting
words. The young woman had no mercy with her choices of words in her
tenacity to get Janeway to reconsider and she went in for the kill in the
attempt.
It
worked. Janeway had cried that evening on and off throughout the night, but not
over her own pain as much as over Seven's pain. It was Seven's refusal to back
down and admit what must have been difficult for the normally cool and aloof
woman. That unrelenting attitude pierced the Captain's heart in such a way that
it couldn't refuse the love that was freely offered. Seven only wanted to be
loved and to love in return. She did not demand any other commitment,
although Janeway knew she would marry her, eventually. After Chakotay's divorce
died down a bit.
So
Janeway finally allowed herself to make a real choice for companionship for the
first time in ten years, since Voyager first got lost in the Delta
Quadrant.
She
chose Seven. An odd peace settled over her soul. She only hoped Seven would
forgive her so readily. She knew she had hurt the young woman deeply, but
the Captain was prepared to do what was necessary to correct her oversight and
give their love a chance. Even if it required some… groveling to
atone.
There
was a routine away mission scheduled for early that morning. Chakotay had
informed her that morning that Seven had volunteered for the mission.
Janeway had no reason not to let her go and Seven probably volunteered because
she tended to work harder the more emotionally upset she was. It was only a
routine dilithium extraction on a nearby M-class planet, so Janeway would simply
wait until afterwards to tell the young woman that she had a change of heart.
That she had made a terrible mistake and was truthfully very much in love with
the blonde.
The
auburn haired woman mentally prepared herself how to phrase the apology as she
prepared for duty. Finishing her ablutions, she got dressed and headed for the
Bridge.
It was
going to be a quiet routine day from her viewpoint. Voyager was already in orbit
and the away team was ready to go. Tuvok, Seven, Ensign Wildman and Ensign
Jenkins beamed down to the planet. Everything was going as planned until the
Bridge was hailed by Tuvok, his voice calmly urgent.
"We
require an emergency beam out directly to sickbay. Seven has been severely
injured."
Janeway
swore her own heart had stopped beating in her chest. Chakotay's face went pale
and he looked at the Captain. Was that concern in his eyes?
Regret?
He flew
towards the turbolift heading for sickbay, Janeway presumed.
"Understood Tuvok, Sickbay! Prepare for an incoming
casualty." Janeway spat out heading to sickbay in a hurry. "You have the Bridge
Mr. Kim!"
As she
entered sickbay, she noticed blood everywhere. On the floor, and on the
surgical biobed where Seven resided. As Janeway moved closer, her heart leapt
into her throat and she watched Chakotay hold Seven's charred and bleeding body.
The
Doctor looked up at the Captain, his face grave. He shook his head.
There was no mistaking what he meant.
"What
about the nanoprobes?"
"I'm
sorry… they've already shut down. There's just too much damage." He conveyed
solemnly closing his medical tricorder.
"I
refuse to accept that… "
"It's
beyond my ability Captain," He asserted quietly meeting her grief filled gaze
before heading for his office to give the two distraught officers some
space.
"No… "
She whispered to his retreating back.
She
turned to watch Chakotay as he held the dying Seven in his arms. He wept as he
pulled her closer, his head buried on her shoulder. Janeway silently regretted
it not being her, but she hadn't earned that right.
On
unsteady legs, Janeway came along side the biobed with tears of her own and
managed to grasp Seven's human hand snugly in her own. The young woman was
struggling with each breath. Janeway squeezed her hand and Seven's eyes
met hers. Both knew time was ebbing away from them.
Because
Chakotay was present, the Captain only mouthed the words. 'I love you.'
And put her other hand on top of the one that was already possessing Seven's
right hand snugly.
Janeway
saw a tear escape from her beloved's eye and Seven weakly squeezed Kathryn's
hand trying to convey how much she cared and loved the older woman as well.
Seven
did not fear dying and surprisingly she felt little pain as she gazed at a grief
stricken Janeway. Her only regret was the loss of not being able to love her
Captain in the future. She knew in her heart with perseverance and time that
someday she would have been given that honor. She did not believe that Kathryn,
the woman underneath the rank, could truly ignore her own feelings for the
entire journey to the Alpha Quadrant.
After
Seven rushed out of the Captain's quarters the previous day, she was determined
not to make it easy for the Captain to rebuke her. However, being hurt and
angry, Seven decided she needed a distraction and asked to go on the routine
away mission to give herself time to think. She wanted to clear her head so she
could devise a strategy to wear down the strong willed overly stubborn Captain
who refused to give into what she was clearly feeling. Love. Seven had
felt it and currently mourned, not dying but the loss of sharing that intimacy
and so much more.
Captain
Kathryn Janeway, she was the one who had shown Seven the final lesson in
humanity and because of it, Seven had understood the meaning of love and the
true allure of physical intimacy. She felt at peace with her humanity for the
first time in her life.
Seven
could feel the darkness surround her vision as she stared at the one who had
captured her heart. She wanted to say so many things. She wanted to thank
Janeway for everything, but mostly she wanted to say that she loved her and
would always love her, but the words would not come and she could not keep her
eyes open any longer. Finally the life left her body and she exhaled her last
breath.
"No… "
was all Janeway could manage feeling Seven's hand go limp in hers. Dear God
no! She somehow put a hand on Chakotay's shoulder. He may not have
been in love with her, but his tears were genuine. He obviously cared for her.
Either that or he felt guilty for stringing her along in a loveless marriage,
but now it didn’t matter.
He
still held Seven's lifeless body in his arms. Janeway looked on at them both
completely numb.
Please, I'm so sorry! I've been such a fool. Don't leave
me! Not now… I love you. I need you!.
Even as
she pleaded in her mind, she knew it was over. Janeway clutched at her chest
where her heart was shattering. Breathing became difficult in her turmoil.
No!
I've lost everything… everything… and my heart hurts so much. Why does it hurt
so much?! How will I recover from this?!
She
shook her head back and forth absently in despondency.
I
will never be the same… Never…
If
only I could die with her… She thought
as the tears came. Although, Janeway was physically healthy, her heart died an
emotional death that day.
Thirty three years later:
Admiral
Janeway stared out the window of her apartment in downtown San Francisco.
Her mind reflected on the most prideful and profound memories in her life.
The
time when she graduated from Starfleet academy to start a life in the sciences;
when she was commissioned the USS Voyager, her first Captaincy; and her most
cherished memory… the only time she had made love to a beautiful blonde woman
named Annika Hansen.
It was
the last memory that still caused a tear to occasionally fall from the strong
willed Admiral. Her will had gotten her through the last 33 years and somehow
through her personal grief, she managed to bring Voyager home.
There
had been other casualties along the way, besides her cherished Seven. Tuvok had
a degenerative neurological disease that worsened with time. She ended up losing
22 more crewmen before she finally managed to bring them home. That was
ten years ago, today.
Chakotay died during the final leg of the journey.
Voyager wasn't under attack. He simply died in his quarters while
asleep. The Doctor couldn’t find anything wrong with him, but Janeway knew
he died of guilt and regret, just like her heart had 23 years earlier with
Seven.
As she
gazed out at the San Francisco night, she allowed herself to remember the blonde
woman, knowing it would bring back a cascade of long repressed emotions. She
knew she should be able to just accept her feelings and move on after all this
time, but she couldn't.
She
even ordered The Doctor to rig a cryogenic lifepod so they could carry Seven's
precious body in stasis, until they reached home; earth.
Janeway
visited her grave whenever she felt she could bear it. After all these
years, how could it still be so difficult? Maybe because you loved her, you
fool?
She was
just a shell now and had been for so many years, but that would all change soon
if everything went according to plan.
Once
she had managed to steal the device from the back-stabbing Klingons and eluded
their grasp with Captain's Kim's assistance on the Rhode Island, Admiral Janeway
was on her way back through time.
As soon
as she made it through the other side, she hailed Voyager and demanded her
younger self to close the rift so the Klingons couldn't follow. After a little
hemming and hawing, Captain Janeway complied and the Admiral came onboard the
Intrepid class vessel.
After
an elaborate conversation, Janeway was still unconvinced that this person was
really an older version of herself so she had the Admiral checked out thoroughly
in sickbay. Once that was settled, the Admiral was ready to get the adaptations
started on Voyager, when the object of her dreams walked in elegantly carrying a
PADD.
Her
long lost lover of 33 years ago, younger here, barely thirty and in her prime,
looking as beautiful as ever. She still wore the biosuit in this timeframe, the
Admiral noted.
The
older Janeway couldn't help herself, her gaze focused squarely on Seven.
"Hello
Seven… " She breathed out emotionally, almost reaching out to the lovely blonde
woman before pulling back.
Seven
looked at her oddly, uncertain how she should act towards the older Janeway. She had the appearance of the woman Seven cared for immensely yet
she was so much older…
No,
this Janeway is a stranger. I do not know her.
This
made the young blonde uncomfortable and not meaning to be rude, Seven barely
acknowledged the Admiral with a nod before handing the PADD with her report to
her Captain.
The
Captain noticed the longing in the Admiral's gaze, but shrugged it off returning
her attention to Seven's update.
"The
technology of the Admiral's ship is impressive. Much of it appears to have been
designed to defend against the Borg." Seven informed her.
"Could
we install these systems on Voyager?" The Captain asked.
"The
stealth technology is incompatible, but I believe we can adapt the armor and
weapons." Seven explained.
She
turned to Seven, "Do it."
The
crew worked fast to install and update the weapons and armor with B'Elanna as
supervisor despite the discomfort with her pregnancy, but with her overlooking
the upgrades, they were ready in no time and venturing into the nebula for a
chance to go home.
However, they ran into a slight glitch that the kind
Admiral failed to mention. A Borg transwarp hub consisting of 47 Borg
vessels and dozens of apertures.
The
Admiral tried to order Lt. Paris to proceed into the aperture, but they were
loyal to their Captain and left the nebula on her orders. Captain Janeway
was livid with the Admiral for not telling her about the conduits and they had a
steamed argument about it.
Walking
along the corridor, Janeway confronted the admiral. "I want to know why you
didn't tell me about this!?" She fumed.
"Because I distinctly remember how stubborn and
self-righteous I was." Admiral Janeway commented curtly. "And I figured you
might try to do something stupid." She remarked casually.
The
Captain bristled. "We have an opportunity to deal a crippling blow to the Borg.
It could save billions of lives!"
"I
didn't spend the last ten years looking for a way to get this crew home earlier
just so you could throw it all away on some intergalactic goodwill
mission."
Janeway
stopped walking and faced her. "Maybe we should go back to sickbay," Janeway
offered sardonically.
"Why?
So you can have me sedated?"
"So I
can have the Doctor re-confirm your identity. I refuse to believe I'll become as
cynical as you." Captain Janeway spoke harshly.
The
Admiral took the insult in stride. She knew what was at stake. "Am I the only
one experiencing déjà vu here?"
"What
are you talking about?"
"Seven
years ago, you had a chance to use the Caretaker's Array to get Voyager home,
but instead, you destroyed it."
Janeway
was taken aback, because she had accepted the consequences of that decision and
would've done the same thing again if she had to, despite the losses and
hardships they had faced over the years. "I did what I knew was
right."
"You
chose to put the lives of strangers ahead of the lives of your crew," the
Admiral clarified sarcastically. "You can't make the same mistake
again."
What
kind of an argument was this? No
ship existed just to protect the lives of its crew. What about the greater
good of an entire quadrant?!
Her jaw
hardened. "You got Voyager home." The Captain stated arrogantly. "That means I
will too. If it takes a few more years, then that's--"
The
Admiral had one card left to play. "Seven of Nine is going to die…"
The
words hung in the air, permeating the Captain's hardened attitude. Her
face lost its color and sadness overwhelmed her.
"What?!"
"Three
years from now. She'll be injured on an away mission. She'll make it back to
Voyager, and die in the arms of her husband."
"Husband?" Janeway asked pale faced and
shocked.
"Chakotay."
"He'll
never be the same after Seven's death and neither will YOU!"
Stunned, Janeway contemplated the information presented
to her. No one crewman should be allowed to influence her decision if it
contradicts the greater good, but Seven and Chakotay… arguably her two favorite
friends, colleagues and so much more. It would hurt like hell to lose
them... To lose her. She didn't want to consider it.
"If I
know what's going to happen," She justified dolefully in a quiet voice. "I can
avoid it."
"Seven's not the only one," the Admiral informed her
firmly. "Between this day and the day I got Voyager home, I lost twenty-two crew
members. And then, of course, there's Tuvok."
"What
about him?" Janeway became concerned.
"You're
forgetting about the Temporal Prime Directive, Captain--."
"To
hell with it!"
"Fine.
Tuvok has a degenerative neurological condition that he hasn't told you
about."
Janeway
leaned against the wall, feeling like she had been sucker punched…
twice.
"There's a cure in the Alpha Quadrant," the senior
officer added. "Even if you alter Voyager's route, limit your contact with alien
species, you're going to lose people. But I'm offering you a chance to get them
all home safe and sound-- today! Are you really going to turn your back on
that!?"
The
Admiral had one other recourse to try to get Janeway to take Voyager into the
conduit. She visited Cargo Bay Two to have a chat with Seven of Nine.
She
also wanted to assess whether Seven had any feelings towards her counterpart at
this point in the ex-Borg's life.
Either
way, this was going to be hard. To see her again, so young, healthy and...
alive. She sighed at the discomfort, but she would not fail her again. She
would die before she would fail Seven a second time. I will simply tell her
about what happened leaving our brief but memorable romance out of the
picture.
"I
appreciate your candor, Admiral, but Captain Janeway is my commanding officer. I
won't disobey her."
"I not
asking you to. I simply want you to tell her that in your opinion, destroying
the hub is too risky, the cost too high--"
"I
cannot do that."
"Even
if it means avoiding the consequences I mentioned."
"Now
that I know about those circumstances, they are no longer a certainty. But even
if they were, my death would be a small price to pay for the destruction of the
transwarp network."
"I've
known you a long time Seven," the Admiral explained as she circled around
Seven's computer terminal. "longer than you've known yourself. You're thinking
that collapsing the network would be an opportunity to atone for the atrocities
you participated in while you were a drone."
Seven's
face tightened. The Admiral had hit a nerve.
"It's
time to let go of the past!" the Admiral pressured her. "And start thinking
about your future!"
"My
future," Seven assure thickly and forcefully. "…is insignificant compared to the
lives of the people we'd be saving."
"You're
being selfish!" the Admiral spat.
"Selfish, I'm talking about helping others--"
"Strangers. In a hypothetical scenario. I'm
talking about real life! Your colleagues… your friends… the people who LOVE
YOU! Imagine the impact your death would have on them!" She finished
saying with difficulty. The day of Seven's death still haunted the Admiral and
she willfully choked down the sentiment that was rising in her gut.
Seven
was feeling overwhelmed with emotions and did not feel comfortable with being
put on the spot. She had failed to obey her Captain in the past with
severe consequences for both of them. She could not do that this time. Seven was
feeling cornered and needed some space to breath. It was too much for her to
contemplate at the moment.
"Excuse
me," Seven offered the words bluntly, "I have work to do."
The
Admiral noticed the red eyes, the hidden emotionally turmoil, the look of
stubborn pride, of determination. Seven would never edificate herself to
the detriment of others. It was one of the many reasons the Admiral loved
her. She was proud of the young woman, the way the blonde turned out,
despite their disagreements, confrontations and the fact that Admiral Janeway
was in love with her.
The
Admiral vowed she would not remain on Voyager if Janeway attempted to destroy
the network and sacrifice the shortcut home. The Admiral would not live
through that loss again. It would hurt too much. She nodded and left Seven to
her work.
Admiral
Janeway was in Captain Janeway's Ready room having some coffee with her younger
self. It was the first time in a long while since she had touched the
beverage.
"I
thought you gave it up."
"I've
decided to revive a few of my old habits." The Admiral replied.
"Oh,
what else besides the coffee?" Janeway asked leaning back in her
seat.
"I used
to be much more idealistic." She admitted. "I took a lot of risks… "
The
Admiral took this time to apologize to the Captain about lying to her. It
was the younger Janeway's crew not the Admiral's. Being so determined to get her
crew home, the senior Janeway forgot how loyal they were to her back then.
"You
were only doing what you thought was right for all of us." Janeway concurred
softly, realizing she would've done the same in similar circumstances even if it
had been inappropriate. "But there has got to be a way to have our cake and eat
it too." Janeway speculated.
"We
can't destroy the hub and get Voyager home." The Admiral recanted her
earlier thoughts.
"Are
you absolutely sure about that?" Janeway asked eyeing her intently.
The
Admiral blinked, thinking of Seven. "There might be a way," she offered quietly.
"I considered it once, but it seemed too risky." She didn't elaborate that her
senior staff refused to let her go through with it. Seven had been the
most vocal opponent despite her aloofness towards the Admiral in this
timeline. The young woman cared deeply whether she was aware of what it
meant on a deeper level or not.
"That
was before you decided to revive your old habits." The Captain
smirked.
"I
don't know why I ever gave this up." The Admiral smiled back.
The
Admiral left Voyager in her small futuristic vessel and headed for the Borg
transwarp hub network. She would distract the Borg Queen while Voyager
escaped into the conduit that led to Earth. They fired transphasic torpedoes
behind them thus collapsing the conduit and causing a dangerous chain reaction
all along the hub.
Meanwhile, the Admiral was also infecting the Borg with
a pathological virus, thus sealing her own fate with them, as she destroyed them
from within.
The
Borg network had imploded. They had done it. They delivered a severe blow
to the Borg collective. Yet, they were still struggling to stay ahead of the
destruction as the conduit collapsed all around them. It was a battle to stay
inside it and after being fired upon from behind, they realized they were also
being chased. A Borg scout ship was on their tail, but with ingenuity they had
hid inside it and blasted the Borg monstrosity into oblivion with a transphasic
torpedo as Voyager flew out of the wreckage and into the Alpha Quadrant.
Voyager
had succeeded. They had made it home. Janeway responded to a hail
and greeted Admiral Paris quickly telling him she would make a full report on
what happened then only moments after the channel was closed, the EMH and the
cry of a baby's voice could be heard through the Comm channel.
"You
better get down there Tom," Janeway smiled widely at him.
He
smiled back, "Yes, ma'am." He breathed out dashing for the turbolift.
"Mr.
Chakotay," she spoke lightly. "Take the helm."
"Aye
Captain," Chakotay responded.
Janeway
saw the glance Seven gave her first officer before he took the helm. It
was an emotionally charged look and it unsettled the Captain.
She sat
in her command chair settling in and silently thanked the Admiral for her
sacrifice wondering what was the catalyst that made the older woman sacrifice
herself for all of them. She wasn't sure she herself deserved it, but her
crew did.
"Course
Captain?"
"Set a
course for home…."
Voyager
remained in orbit as Janeway and her crew started the many preparations that
needed to get done before disembarking to the surface.
She
knew she would be having many future meetings with a variety of Admirals' in the
following days and she wasn't really looking forward to that, but it was a small
price to pay for being home.
She was
about to lie down on the bed to rest for awhile and contemplate her good fortune
when she saw a PADD lying on her nightstand that she didn’t remember putting
there.
She
picked it up. It was a memo to her. Who was it from?
Oh,
my god! It was from Admiral
Janeway. Should she read it? Wouldn't the information be against the temporal
prime directive? As if adding future armor and weapons
wasn't!?
The
Captain's curiosity always got the better of her.
Memo To Captain Janeway,
I had
considered that you might not read this, but I hoped you would. I assume you're
at the same stage I was at around Stardate 54973.4. I have to consider
that, because you're not as desperate as I was… not yet.
You
might resent my telling you this, as your life is going to very different from
mine. I certainly hope it is more fulfilling. The thought that one
of us will have our dream come true, if you have the courage to realize what you
want, is encouraging after the bare existence I led.
I know
you're disappointed in who I became and frankly I'd agree you, if I was you, but
I'm not. I'm me, and I lived through more battles than you and most notably more
loss and pain. You didn't live the life I did after we passed the Borg
hub.
I
suggest you don't screw up your future by denying what you truly feel. Don't
make the same mistake I did by waiting too long, by using your command as an
excuse. Your feelings will grow and it will be difficult for you, no matter how
many excuses you give yourself. You're no longer the Captain of Voyager so
you're free to decide your future. You don't have the restrictions I had.
Whether you take a another ship, a desk job or retire. You have the opportunity
to take a mate. Maybe even marry the one you know you love.
Consider the possibilities.
On
Stardate 57956.2, my heart died and I became an empty husk of a human, a
soulless being, if you will, and I was never the same.
You saw
what I became, cynical and arrogant. I'm not proud of everything I did. I broke
numerous Starfleet regulations; including, but not exclusive to the Prime
Directive and the Temporal Prime Directive. I also committed adultery after ten
years of self-imposed isolation. The list goes on, but I believe I have made my
point.
You
probably think you don't have the ability to do what I did, but you'd be
surprised what years of denial do to even a strong willed individual. Be careful
of holding it in, I was intensely jealous and I coveted what another had for a
long time. I know, I should feel guilty, but I don't. I cherished that
night. That memory kept me alive and relatively sane.
You're
my redemption and if you don't take it, well at least I don't have to
live with your decision. I gave you the chance, now it's up to you.
Remember what I said before, 'You'll never be the
same.'
It's
your choice. There are no right or wrong choices, only choices that have
repercussions. Even if you choose not to interfere, at least she'll be alive in
your time frame for many years to come. That should give you some comfort
in your lonesome misery.
Just so
you know, I changed time for her… because I was in love her. Completely.
Admiral Janeway
That
explained the main reason for the Admiral's tenacity and sacrifice. She had been
in love with Seven of Nine in her reality and lost her to Chakotay then
ultimately to death.
For the
past six months, Janeway had noticed a closer more intense feeling in regards to
Seven than she cared to admit. She had squashed it down whenever it surfaced,
but now with all that happened, she was forced to concede to a deeper
attraction.
Janeway
wasn't even sure how she truly felt about Seven and having the truth forced upon
her by the Admiral didn't make it any easier.
Am I
in love or is it just infatuation? She is rather beautiful and physically
gorgeous compared to anyone else I can think of.
It was
only mid-afternoon, but Janeway felt the need to see Seven as she left her
quarters and headed for Cargo Bay Two.
She
felt the need to talk with her, even though, she knew in her heart she would not
say anything now because it wasn't right to blatantly interfere. She had
to be more subtle about it and let the young woman make up her own mind, even if
she did lose her.
Janeway
admitted to herself that she didn't truly appreciate the Admiral's pain and loss
in that timeframe. She also knew she had to do it her way and not rush into
anything. Otherwise, she could make things worse and ruin two friendships that
were important to her.
Reaching her destination, the Captain entered the Cargo
bay.
"Hello
Seven," Janeway found her at the terminal as usual.
"Captain," Seven greeted.
"So
what do think about all this?" Janeway leaned on the console Seven was working
at. "About getting home."
"It is
unsettling, yet I am happy for the crew."
"What
are your plans?"
There
was doubt in her crystal eyes as she spoke. "I have not made any
yet."
"Oh, I
guessed you would go live with your aunt… I'm sure she'd love to have
you."
"Perhaps," Seven allowed, but she had yet to discuss her
plans with Chakotay. What would he want? Would we get a place together?
Am I ready for that? What would the Captain think about our relationship? Would
she approve? What would I do, if she did not?!
Her
friendship with the redhead as well as what the Captain thought of her, was very
important to the blonde. Emotionally, she was confused over her hesitation, but
allowed herself a certain bit of confusion because she was so new to emotions
period. Based on that, Seven wasn't ready to tell the Captain about her new
relationship.
"Well,
whatever you decide. My door is always open, if you need a temporary place to
stay. I have an apartment in San Francisco, but I'm going to see my mother
in Bloomington, Indiana first." She paused, her brow furrowed slightly then she
grinned. "And I distinctly remember promising to show it to you sometime.
I wouldn't want to renege on my promises. So, whenever you're ready let me
know. I'm sure my mother wouldn't mind." Janeway smiled widely and
put her hand over Seven's hand gently before turning to leave the Cargo
bay.
Seven
was bombarded with a multitude of emotions.
Her
hand tingled where Janeway touched it and she was surprisingly touched by the
Captain's thoughtfulness. The offer was genuine. The Captain had offered her
home to her if she needed it. She offered her mother's home as well to visit.
She was considered family and Seven was warmed by it. So why did she feel so
oddly flustered by it as well?
"Thank
you, Captain." Seven responded. "That was thoughtful."
"Your
welcome." Janeway responded affectionately. "Any time you want to talk Seven.
I'm just a hail away."
Seven
stared at the Captain's retreating form.
Now
I wait, Janeway thought walking
away.
Two
days later, Janeway lowered the hover car onto the gravel driveway and powered
down the aircraft vehicle before getting out. After two rigorous days of
debriefing, she was glad to be away from Starfleet and landing at her mother's
home even if it was only for the weekend. It was a short respite before she had
to go back for more, but she was grateful for the break.
As she
opened the hatch, she stopped for a second to smell the air. The wind carried
the scent of corn and wheat to her nostrils. The flow of fresh crisp clean
air swam about her senses telling her she was home, unlike the sterile recycled
air of Voyager. Not that she minded Voyager, it had been her home for seven
years and kept her alive and healthy. It was being stuck on a starship for
so long in unfamiliar territory that gave her an appreciation for earth that she
had lacked before.
It
has been so long.
She
stepped down feeling the unevenness of the cobblestones beneath her Starfleet
boots. She brought her hand up to her face to guard her eyes against the
brightness of the sun that was high in the sky as she looked out over the field
into the distance. She spotted the barn and it brought old memories to the
surface of her playing there. The faded and chipped color denoted a severe
lack of maintenance and it looked like it needed a paint job badly.
Just
then she heard the noise of a screen door creak open and lightly close shut.
Turning she saw her mother come outside.
"Kathryn!"
"Mother," she whispered. The Captain had seen her before
when they had originally disembarked from Voyager, but it was only for a few
brief minutes before she was whisked away by Starfleet Admirals. Duty
prevailed then, but now, she was just Kathryn, Gretchen Janeway's daughter.
Her
mother had a flour caked apron on as she trotted swiftly down the steps and onto
the gravel to give her daughter a long awaited hug. "Oh, I've missed you
so!"
"I know
mother," Kathryn sighed relaxing in her mother's embrace and patting her on the
back.
"Well,
well, well!" Someone else called out from the porch door.
"Phoebe!" Gretchen shouted. "Come and greet your
sister."
Phoebe
did so, avidly hugging her sister warmly before they all went inside to enjoy
the emotional reunion and to catch up on the last seven years of Kathryn's
life.
"You
look a little thin, Kathryn." Gretchen remarked, while checking her pots on the
stove in the kitchen. "Were you eating properly while on that
starship?"
Janeway
followed her mother into the kitchen. "I didn't always have the opportunity. I
was rather busy."
Phoebe
giggled, taking a chair at the kitchen table. "What's the matter sis, being
Captain doesn't afford you special privileges?"
Janeway
glowered at her younger sister. Phoebe never did like Starfleet and never missed
an opportunity to make it known. However, the elder Janeway knew how to diffuse
her hot tempered little sister too.
"Not
when you're stranded 70,000 light years from home in a hostile area of space,
I'm afraid. I should be grateful we didn't starve to death." Janeway elaborated
with a serious face.
The
statement wiped the smirk off Phoebe's shocked face. "I… didn’t mean it that
way."
"It's
ok," Janeway suddenly grinned putting a hand on her shoulder, "I've missed you
too."
Phoebe
grinned widely relieved that she hadn't insulted her sister too much. She
marveled at how easily her sister accepted her often-derisive statements
regarding Starfleet. As hard headed as her older sister was, she was
considerably opened minded and it took a lot to insult her to the point where
she would retaliate.
"So
what's for dinner?" Janeway asked looking forward to a good home cooked
meal.
"Corn
on the cob, potatoes, roast beef and fresh biscuits." Her mother offered. "Is
there anything else you wanted?"
Janeway
looked mischievously at her mother's back thinking about it. "You wouldn't have
any homemade coffee, would you?"
Gretchen smiled knowingly.
"So
what do you think?" Chakotay waved his hand and smiling as he showed Seven his
temporary apartment at Starfleet headquarters. They had been transporting back
and forth from Voyager for a couple of days until Starfleet decided a closer
residence would be more appropriate.
"It is
sufficient," Seven remarked, not impressed. It appeared more sterile than
Voyager and had only bland, colors throughout. Chakotay had just finished giving
her the grand tour and they were now in the living room.
Upon
entering the apartment, there was a short hallway that led to the living room.
The staccato walls were bone white with light cream colored sofas and couches
lining against the walls. There were stainless steel tables next to them and
simple paintings hanging sporadically along the main room.
To the
right, before entering the living area was the kitchen entrance blocked by a
wrap around wall. Going passed the living area, on the left was a set of stairs
that lead to the next level. To the right was a full bathroom and straight ahead
a glass door that led to an outside porch. Upstairs was the bedroom, another
small room with two terminals and another bathroom.
Chakotay knew she wasn't pleased with the arrangements,
but they had no choice. Starfleet decided that they wanted the maquis, the EMH,
Seven and Icheb close by until the de-briefings were finished. A process that
was supposed to take two weeks.
"What
is the purpose to these debriefings, since Voyager's datalogs contain all the
information they require?" Seven asked as she sat on a sofa.
He
looked at her tentatively, meditating over his response for awhile. "Well, it's
probably just a formality, as I was in the maquis so they're probably are
considering whether they can trust me or not."
"And I
was Borg." Seven stated passively. "We both have committed crimes against the
Federation."
"Yes,"
Chakotay pondered that. "but I'm sure its all a technicality. After all you're
no longer Borg, no longer part of the collective. You've been human now for over
four years and a vital part of Voyager's crew. We couldn't have made it home
without you." Chakotay admitted.
Seven's
features softened at the compliment and she gave him a small smile.
"Besides, I don't think Kathryn would let them try
anything." He became thoughtful. "Kathryn keeps telling me not to worry that
it's just political, and although I'm not as Starfleet minded as she is... " He
said not unkindly. "I'm still going to hope for the best."
Seven
perked up, "Kathryn?"
"Janeway," Chakotay smirked. "I've always called her
Kathryn even on Voyager during our personal time, but I accidentally called her
Captain the other day and she adamantly told me to call her Kathryn since she
was no longer my Captain."
Seven
had spent a considerable amount of personal time with Captain Janeway and the
older woman never offered to Seven to call her Kathryn. The ex-Borg wondered why
she felt oddly disconcerted by that supposedly minor detail.
"When
did you speak with her?" Seven asked since she had not spoken with her mentor in
days.
"Actually, I've spoke with her every day since this all
began four days ago."
"I have
not spoken with the Captain since we left Voyager." Seven felt oddly left
out.
"She
asked how you were doing." He made his way to the kitchen through the open
doorway and out of Seven's line of sight.
"She
did?" Seven called out.
"Yes, I
told her you were doing well." He said from the kitchen. "Can I get you anything
to drink?"
"Water
would be sufficient." She answered. After hours of having to explain her actions
to Starfleet officials about her time on Voyager, her throat was parched. Much
to her dismay, they were only up to asking her details from her first few months
there. At the rate it was going it would takes weeks, maybe even a month for
them to finish their questioning.
Seven
was annoyed by that possibility although she couldn't explain why, since she had
no place to be or duty to perform. She was in a sense restless because she
was bored. Oddly enough when she was bored which was often, she thought of the
Captain and how she was doing or what she was doing, but Seven only knew she was
visiting her mother's ranch in Bloomington, Indiana when she wasn't in
debriefing.
Chakotay came out of the kitchen at last and handed her
a glass of water. "Would you like something to eat?"
"No, I
am… not hungry at this time." Seven said awkwardly. She felt it necessary to try
and speak in a way that would not garner more attention to the fact that she was
Borg, but it was difficult having to be so conscientious of it. It was so
much easier when she was on Voyager and she could be herself. She never
had this problem around the Captain.
Although, she was not hungry, Seven had a sudden
inspiration. "I do not require food, however, I could benefit from vacating
these premises."
"You
mean leave the base here at Starfleet? Is it getting to you already?" he asked,
taking a seat next to her, their thighs touching lightly.
"I know
it has only been four days, but I feel stifled." She shifted her eyes away
showing some of her uneasiness.
"Ok,"
he put a hand on her thigh. "What would you like to do?"
"I was
hoping you could show me some of the sights of San Francisco."
He
smiled widely, "Of course," leaning in for a light kiss on her full lips, which
she complied to readily.
It
wasn't that his kisses were unpleasant. It was just that Seven did not feel what
she thought she should from them. She had based her research on the
databanks from Voyager and to her knowledge kissing and copulation were supposed
to be pleasant. She was at a loss as how to explain her current lack of an
emotional reaction to it.
"I
could rent a transport shuttle and show you the sights from the air."
"That
would be acceptable."
Come
Monday morning, Captain Kathryn Janeway sat at attention across from Admirals'
Paris, Strickler, Ross and Necheyev. The four Admirals had the power to decide
her fate and everyone else's onboard Voyager. The only good thing was that
the vote had to be unanimous.
They
were separated by a metallic desk that had been polished to a shine. This
debriefing room was cold. The walls were a bone white, the carpet dull grey and
the atmosphere somewhat antagonistic in her opinion.
The
questions were becoming intensely scrutinizing regarding some of her more
questionable command decisions. Janeway would have been lying to herself if she
thought she wouldn't be reprimanded for some of her past decisions. She
knew full well Starfleet could not let some of them slide. She only hoped
a reprimand would be her largest punishment and not a court-martial or worse…
imprisonment.
"On
Stardate, 50984.3, you willingly made an alliance with the Borg." Admiral Ross
stated disdainfully. He was in charge of military operations within Starfleet
and any alliance with other races without his knowledge bothered him. "Would you
care to explain your reasoning for this?"
"As I
stated in my logs, it would have taken us decades to cross Borg space. By
initiating a temporary alliance, we were hoping to negotiate for safe
passage."
"Did it
ever occur to you that there could be a significant shift in power by assisting
the Borg to defeat this… " Ross had to look at his PADD for the proper
information. "species 8472? This was an opportunity to defeat the Borg and
instead you assisted them against the one species capable of eradicating
them."
"In my
estimation," Janeway stated stiffly. "species 8472 was more dangerous to the
entire galaxy than even the Borg. They have the ability to create a
rift between their realm and ours. I don’t know if they are limited by time and
distance like we are. It could be theoretically possible for them to open
a rift a few light years from earth." Janeway tilted her head considering. "And
if you've read all of my logs you would know we ran into species 8472 a year
later while they were in the middle of attempting the recreation of an elaborate
infiltration scenario with the target being Earth."
Necheyev waved her hand. "Yes, we're aware of that and
we know that you came to a tenacious understanding with them." She paused. "But
tell me this Captain, after your combined victory why did you keep a Borg drone
on board a Federation vessel?"
Janeway
narrowed her eyes. "Her human cells were already starting to assert themselves.
She wouldn't have survived without medical attention and I don’t believe the
Borg would have come for a single drone."
"You
should have deposited the drone on a nearby planet with a transceiver like it
asked for. A single drone's life is insignificant to the safety of your
crew. Did you consider the dangers of having a drone onboard?" Necheyev
persisted.
Janeway's face-hardened, her voice raw. "Yes, we took
the necessary precautions--"
"And
that explains how the drone managed to send a partial subspace signal to the
Borg while under these tight security precautions?"
"We
stopped her before any real damage could be done." Janeway corrected.
"Correction. You mean the Ocampa named Kes stopped her,
who as luck would have it, was evolving into a higher lifeform with exceptional
control over energy and matter. If not for her sudden superior abilities,
do you think you would have stopped this Borg from calling reinforcements?"
Necheyev challenged.
"Yes, I
believe we would have." Janeway replied tersely. "but I think you're forgetting
something very important," she added. "Seven of Nine was a human being who was
assimilated through no fault of her own at a very young age. Since, she was
stuck on our ship with no other hope of survival, I decided to keep her onboard
Voyager and give her a chance to regain what she had lost."
"Yes
and what about my standing order, 'To seek out opportunities to destroy the
Borg collective evasively.' Apparently by your own logs, you've had almost a
dozen opportunities and yet failed to finish them off when you had the chance
especially with Unimatrix Zero."
"I
tried to liberate thousands of species from the Borg collective. It was an
opportunity to deal the Borg a crippling blow by dividing them. I do not
consider that a failure!" Janeway rebuked.
"And if
I may state for the record." Janeway continued. "I wouldn't be standing here
today if not for Annika Hansen. She has saved Voyager single handedly almost as
many times as I have."
"I have
no more questions for today," the blonde Admiral glanced at Paris.
"All
right," Admiral Paris did not appreciate Necheyev's treatment of Janeway. "On to
the next set of questions."
It
was going to be a long day, Janeway
thought.
As
evening came on the fifth day of debriefings, Seven convinced Chakotay to take
her to Minnesota where her aunt Irene resided.
Starfleet was not happy the last time they had left
headquarters without an escort. The brass at Starfleet gave them a hard time
because they did not want them leaving the premises, but Chakotay managed to get
them to agree if he took along a small security detail.
After
landing the hovercar in a paved driveway, Seven stepped out with Chakotay and
the two escorts.
"You
will wait here," Seven conveyed seriously to the two young men. She was not
amused in the slightest by their presence.
Chakotay thought Seven should visit with her aunt alone,
since it was the first opportunity she had, so he decided to wait
outside.
"Chakotay, will you accompany me inside?"
"Uh no,
why don't you go ahead. I think the time alone would be good for you two.
It will give you some time to catch up."
Seven
studied him before acquiescing. "Very well." She replied and headed up to the
door to ring the doorbell.
The
door opened many seconds later to reveal an elderly lady perhaps in her mid
sixties. "Yes?"
"Irene
Hansen?"
The
older woman opened the door wider to get a look at the young stranger. "Annika?"
she called out.
"Yes, I
spoke with you a few months back via subspace."
"I
remember," she said her eyes growing soft. "Come on in!" She opened the door to
let the young woman enter.
"Excuse
the mess, the grand children were over yesterday." Irene apologized for the mess
but Seven did not consider it disorganized. There were a few items that
Seven thought to be toys scattered on the floor of the living room, but
everything else looked in order. The sofas and couches were methodically
placed with a wooden table centered between them. There were two shiny oak table
stands at the ends of each sofa and an old fashioned light fixture on
top.
It had
a very domestic feel to it, which Seven did not expect. She did not expect to
feel any emotional residue, but now that she was here, it occurred to her that
her parents probably visited here often.
"I have
two grown children, Andrew and Alexandra who like to bring the grandchildren
over now and then. It's nice to see the young ones."
The
statement brought Seven out of her reverie. "I did not realize you had
offspring."
Irene
giggled at Seven's formality. "Yes, I was married for twenty five years before
my husband died. My name isn't Hansen anymore."
"I did
not realize. I apologize for the inaccuracy."
Irene
waved her hand, "Oh that's nothing. I wouldn't expect you to know. You just
returned from out there." She gestured to the sky.
"Yes,"
Seven responded reflectively.
"Can I
get you something to drink or a snack perhaps?"
"No, I
am… fine."
"Are
you sure, you wouldn't like any strawberries. I have some ripe ones in the
refrigerator."
Seven
managed a small quirky smile. Her aunt remembered that she liked strawberries as
a child. "Perhaps later," Seven was amused.
"You
don't mind if I clean up a bit while we chat?" Aunt Irene reached for a
toy.
"No,
not at all." Seven replied while considering proper manners for this type of
occasion. "Do you… require assistance?"
"No, I
know where everything goes. It's just a matter of putting the toys where they
belong." She reached down to pick up some more. "So what brings you here
Annika?"
"I… was
unaware of having any other living relatives." Seven disclosed dispirited by
that fact. "And I wished to meet with you."
"Well
you do now," Irene affirmed merrily. "I'm sure they would love to meet you. My
son and daughter are around your age I think."
Seven
raised a brow.
Irene
marveled at how much Seven resembled her mother. The young woman was even more
beautiful if that was possible, but the thought brought back the tragic memories
as well. Irene's features took on a somber shadow. She looked at Seven
compassionately. "I'm sorry about what happened. I tried to talk him out of
taking you with them, but you can't blame parents for wanting to be with their
child."
Seven's
countenance became stern instantly knowing what Irene was referring to. "No, I
do not. However, it was unwise to take a child with them to go on an expedition
that could only end up in failure."
Irene
contemplated her niece's words. "I see you still harbor some resentment towards
Magnus and Erin." She stated delicately.
"Their
decision affected my life. I lost my parents and 18 years because of their short
sightedness."
"I
know," her aunt agreed. "I was angry with them too, but we can't change the past
Annika. It's time to move on with your life. You still have so many
years left to live a full life. I hope you can see that."
"I am
uncertain that will be possible. It depends on Starfleet what is too become of
me."
"I
don't understand. What could this Starfleet possible do to you? Don't they
realize how young you were when you were taken by these Borg people?"
"Starfleet is committed to the protection of their
citizens. I believe they are assessing my threat potential."
Irene's
brows lowered. "I'm sure your Captain won't let that happen."
"Captain Janeway has no choice in the matter. As a high
ranking officer, she answers to Starfleet."
"Isn't
she the one that took you from those Borg?" Irene asked.
"That
is not entirely precise. Captain Janeway with the assistance of her crew,
stopped me from assimilating Voyager. It was after that incident that she
decided to keep me onboard."
"I must
thank her." Irene remarked casually as she finished putting the toys she had
picked up away, inside a small wooden chest.
"Why?
She was only doing her duty." Seven commented unkindly.
Irene
frowned turning to Annika. "Why would you say that, Annika? Has Captain Janeway
treated you unfairly?"
Seven
realized it was not Janeway she was angry with. "No, she has not treated me
unfairly. In fact, she has been instrumental in assisting me to regain
what I have lost. It is Starfleet I am angry with."
"Well,
you're not alone anymore Annika." Her aunt told her walking up to her and giving
her a hug. "If you need me to talk to these Starfleet people on your behalf,
just let me know. Or if you feel the need to chat for whatever reason, you can
stop by anytime. Please feel free to do so, you are family Annika."
Seven
nodded appreciatively, being warmed by the compassion from her aunt.
After
nine days of debriefings, Seven was getting restless at not being able to leave
the premises without an escort. She was outside on the porch of their
shared temporary apartment getting some fresh air when Chakotay had found
her.
"I am
not certain how much longer I can tolerate this," Seven pouted as she leaned on
the railing overlooking the large garden below from their loft on the fifteen
floor.
"Seven," Chakotay declared lightly. "Just a few more
days and all this will be over." He hugged her from behind, feeling the soft
curves of her body mold into his. "Please be patient." He added feeling her
tension through the embrace.
She
brought her mesh hand up to touch his hand that rested around her shoulders. He
was a kind individual and she wondered why she did not feel more for him as he
apparently did for her.
It was
difficult to understand her emotions while she was being questioned so harshly
day after day. Her mind mostly concentrated on that, which left little
time to discuss anything else, but Chakotay had other plans for the topic of
this evening.
"Seven,
I know this isn't an ideal time to ask," he started to say. "But I wondering
when all this is over, if you would consider living with me?"
"We
have not had a chance to discuss it I know, but I assumed that would be the next
logical step." She proclaimed honestly.
"True,"
he smirked from behind her. She could feel his breath on her ear and
cheek. "but I was wondering if you would consider living with me as my
wife."
Seven
was grateful Chakotay could not see her surprised reaction as he tightened his
grip upon her. She was warmed by his suggestion, but had no reference on how to
respond. What should she do?
"It is
so sudden I… "
"I
know," he rescued her smartly knowing it was a big decision. "Just think about
it. You can give me your answer after all this is over."
"Thank
you, I think things will be much clearer once this is behind us." She conceded
hoping it was true in more ways than one.
"I wish
to visit the Captain," Seven stated firmly the next day as they were walking out
of Starfleet headquarters. Since Captain Janeway was in contact with Chakotay
practically every other day and inquiring about Seven's status, she decided to
bring up the idea of visiting the Captain in person.
They
had just finished a long day of answering questions and Seven found herself
dwelling on why the Captain only talked to the Commander and did not attempt to
contact her directly. It disturbed her and so unaware was she of her
emotions, she did not realize that she was actually jealous of their
interaction.
"Of
course," he responded. "She's still in debriefings too, but she travels from her
mother's home to the meetings instead of living in her apartment in San
Francisco."
"That
is inconvenient." Seven did not understand. "Why would she do that?"
"Kathryn likes to get away from it all once in a while.
It's her way of dealing with the other more oppressive side of Starfleet.
"
"This
is her way of dealing with these unpleasant debriefings."
"Yes, I
believe so. She's also alone being a Captain and without any duty at the moment
so she probably wants to spend some quality time with her mother and sister.
After all, she is being evaluated probably more so than we are so I'm sure she
could use their support."
Alone? Seven
thought casually. Does the Captain get lonely?
"Why
would they need to evaluate the Captain?"
"Well,"
he started not sure she would understand. "She made some questionable decisions
while in the Delta Quadrant and I believe they're assessing that."
Seven
stared at him wide eyed. "The Captain made the best possible decisions based on
the situation at hand. We were alone with no backup. Certainly they do not
blame her for those decisions?"
"We all
have to answer for things we've done. It's called responsibility."
"Yes,
but that does not mean the process is fair or the verdict just."
"I
know, but we have no choice."
"Perhaps," she allowed.
"Things
usually work out in the end Seven."
"We
will… see." She answered skeptically.
Later
that evening, Seven was excitedly nervous as the hovercar landed on the gravel
in Gretchen Janeway's driveway.
Watching their arrival from the window, Janeway wasn't
sure how she was going to feel about seeing both Seven and Chakotay together,
but she knew she could not say no to Seven's request for a visit. She had
avoided chatting with the young woman long enough and it was time.
As she
went outside to greet them, she hoped she could keep her internal struggle to
herself as she still did not know how she truly felt towards the young blonde
and with all the confusion of the past few weeks, she was distracted from
contemplating it. In a way, she was grateful for the distraction, part of her
didn't want to think it through fearing the answer.
"How
are you doing? It's good to see you Seven… Chakotay." Janeway gripped Seven's
hand firmly after the young woman exited the car.
"I am
acceptable… considering." She allowed.
The
blonde noticed Janeway's attire; a light blue blouse with relaxed fitting tan
Khakis pants and sandals. The Captain looked different than when in her
Starfleet uniform. Seven liked the way the red and black uniform looked on her
Captain, considering it efficient and functional enough, but this was more in
some way. She conceded that it was 'pleasing' and more than acceptable to
Seven, although she couldn't fathom why the difference mattered.
"Don't
I know," Janeway agreed sympathetically. "It seems relentless, but eventually
they will have all the answers they need and hopefully leave us be." Before
Seven could form a reply, Janeway coaxed them inside to meet her mother and
sister.
She
warned them both ahead of time about her sister, but Seven did not believe that
her blood sister could be so different from her.
Janeway
introduced her former first officer and Seven to her family and they hit it off
quite well. Phoebe was even polite at first.
"I'm
making a stuffed turkey for dinner with a variety of delicious sides dishes.
Would you both be kind enough to join us? There's plenty." Gretchen called from
the kitchen.
"Yes,
we would love to," Chakotay answered for himself and Seven, but she did indeed
want to stay. It felt good to visit her Captain again and she really liked her
family too. They accepted her easily despite her appearance as an ex-Borg drone
and what that meant.
"So
what exactly does that metal above your eye do?" Phoebe asked while grinning
from ear to ear. She was sitting in a chair in the living room with her legs
under her.
"Phoebe!" Janeway admonished standing in the doorway.
"Pay no attention to her Seven. She is simply trying to embarrass me."
Seven
looked between the sisters confused. "Why would her inquiry about my optical
implant embarrass you Captain?"
"It
doesn't embarrass me!" Janeway corrected. "I didn't want her off the wall
questions to be insulting to you." She added giving Phoebe a
narrowed-eyed version of the Look.
"What
she means to say is that it embarrasses her to have me as a little sister."
Phoebe grinned mischievously at her older sibling. "So are you going to tell me
or keep it a secret?"
Janeway
rolled her eyes and went into the kitchen to assist her mother. Chakotay just
tapped his fingers on his knee that was casually crossed over his other leg as
he sat comfortably on the sofa. He was amused by how easily Kathryn's
sister got under his former Captain's skin. It was an amazing thing to watch.
"The
metal above my eye is connected to my optical implant and other internal systems
if manipulated to do so." Seven explained.
"Would
you excuse me for a moment, ladies?" Chakotay excused himself. Seven nodded to
Chakotay as Phoebe stared at her implants unflinching and began asking more
questions.
He left
them to their conversation and headed for the kitchen. He spotted Kathryn
sitting at the table shaking her head back and forth. She smirked at him when
she saw him.
"Do you
have any… brutally annoying brothers or sisters?" She asked him humorously.
"No, I
don't," he chuckled. "It's quite refreshing actually to see this side of you
Kathryn."
"I'm
not sure if I've just been complimented or insulted… Commander." She
teased playfully.
"It's a
compliment," he insisted. "Is it ok if I speak to you outside for a
moment?"
Kathryn
looked to her mother.
"Dinner
won't be ready for another thirty minutes dear."
Janeway
acknowledged that deadline and went out the back door to walk along the plush
green grass that stretched far into the distance. They walked side by side
as the sun was setting to their right in the western sky. It was turning a
beautiful orange reddish hue that she had missed watching for so many
years.
The
chirp of the local crickets could be heard and the prolonged silence was
starting to make Janeway nervous.
"Kathryn?"
"Yes?"
Her tone was light and she figured he was going to ask her about his possible
career choices once his business with Starfleet was over.
"I
wanted to ask your opinion on something." He rubbed his hands
together.
"Of
course, go ahead."
"I
asked Seven of Nine to marry me."
The
sounds of nature became silent to the Captain. Her emotions came to the front
deafening anything else. Suddenly the feelings that she tried to avoid
considering for almost two weeks became all too clear to her in that
instant.
Chakotay saw her startled reaction despite her turning
away quickly. "Oh, she didn't tell you did she? I thought you knew we were
dating. I didn't mean to throw this at you so suddenly. I know you both have a
special bond. She's like a… daughter to you."
Daughter?!
No, I don’t think so! Not with feelings like this! Kathryn fought for
control over herself. "No, it's ok, I actually knew. The Admiral… my futuristic
counterpart mentioned it. I was just startled. I didn't realize you two
were that… serious."
"I know
it's sudden, but I told her she didn’t have to decide right away because of all
this debriefing. However, I was wondering if you would talk to her."
"Me?"
"Yes, I
thought she would open up more to you regarding how she feels. I don't want her
to feel pressured to do something she's not ready for, but I am ready to settle
down."
Kathryn
felt her skin become hot and her blouse suddenly felt restrictive as she
breathed in and out carefully. "I'll talk with her, but I'm not promising
anything. I will not influence her one way or the other." She answered
without looking him in the eyes.
"Fair
enough."
After
dinner, Phoebe occupied Commander Chakotay's time with conversation that
surrounded painting styles as Janeway took a walk outside to clear her head. She
wanted to be alone to meditate over the intense emotions that crept up on her
over Chakotay's declaration of marriage.
It
wasn't meant to be though as Seven joined her a few minutes later.
"Captain?" Seven asked walking briskly to catch up. "May
I join you?"
Janeway
sighed, her back was to Seven as she sat down on the grass to watch the full
moon. "Of course and please call me Kathryn… I'm no longer your
Captain."
"You
will always be my Captain." Seven confessed with a slight smile as she peered
down on the older woman. She was secretly pleased to be given permission to call
her by her given name.
Kathryn
smiled lightly pleased that she had such loyalty from such a free spirit that
Seven was. In the past, when Seven followed orders, it was more so because she
chose to than because she had to. Even punishment and isolation was not much
deterrent to the strong-willed young woman.
"So
what do you think of my mother's place?"
"I can
see why you wanted to get home. It is… peaceful here."
Janeway
looked up to see Seven staring at the stars. "How about you? How are you coping
with being planetside?"
"I have
no problem with being on Earth. I would surmise that I might actually find some
enjoyment with the experience if I wasn't so cooped up at Starfleet
headquarters."
"Yes,"
Janeway was irritated. "I saw the escort. I'll see what I can do regarding that,
but even I have only so much voice when it comes to upper
management."
"I
appreciate that… Kathryn, but there are only a few more days then I will be done
and this will be behind us."
Janeway
noticed the 'us' and wondered if she meant herself and Chakotay. "So,
what will you do when all this is over?"
Seven
sat down next to her Captain and looked at her. "Chakotay mentioned getting an
apartment among other things."
"He
told me a little about that." Janeway remarked and although, she really did not
want to go in that direction, she knew in her heart the sooner she found out
Seven's feelings the easier it would be to move on. She almost shook her
head in disgust. Who was she kidding? Wouldn't the futuristic Admiral had
moved on if she had a choice?
Seven
stared at Janeway. Her pupils grew larger to accommodate the growing darkness
and her apprehension. "He… he told you?"
"Yes,
but I already knew. The Admiral told me."
"Which
Admiral?" Seven questioned annoyed. "I had told no one."
"My
counterpart from the future." Janeway clarified.
"I
see," Seven understood. "I was only made aware of my impending death. What else
did she say?" Seven asked perturbed. The Captain has known all this time and
yet said nothing. Does she approve?
Janeway
eyed her former Astrometrics Officer carefully. "I don't think that would be
appropriate."
"I
suppose, " She reluctantly agreed, "it does not matter, since that future is no
longer a certainty."
"I hope
not." Janeway remarked softly and Seven stared at her Captain some more. "He
told me he asked you to marry him." The redhead added while picking at the tall
grass.
Seven
couldn't explain why those words spoken by Janeway would illicit such a
strong reaction within herself, but her heart sped up considerably.
"How do
you feel about that?" Janeway asked hesitantly.
"I am…
uncertain."
Janeway
started pulling the grass strands more frantically and shredding them in her
hands. "I know it's sudden and you've only been dating him for about five weeks,
but you must have some idea of how you feel towards him."
Seven
wondered why the Captain was putting her on the spot like this, since Chakotay
had not. "With all that has been going on, I have not had the time to consider
it properly. He told me to take my time and I intend to."
"A wise
choice," Janeway remarked evenly.
"Hypothetically speaking, If I turn him down, do you
think someone else would ever want to marry me?" Seven asked Janeway knowing her
to be honest in her answers.
Janeway
turned sad but hopeful eyes on Seven. "You don't marry someone for that reason,
Seven. If you don't love him, it won't work."
"I do
care for him."
"Caring
for someone is good, but it's not the same as being in love."
"I
see," Seven stated thoughtfully.
If
only you could. Janeway
speculated.
Another
day at Starfleet headquarters found Captain Kathryn Janeway in front of the
Admirals'. Of all the officers, she had no personal animosity towards Admiral
Paris, who also happened to be Tom's father, mostly because he was the only one
treating her with a resemblance of respect.
"Captain Janeway," Admiral Ross stated. "Why did you go
along with Admiral Janeway and agree to outfit your ship with armor and weapons
from the future?"
"It
gave us a tactical advantage against the Borg, since we decided to utilize the
transwarp hub and then destroy it. Without that technology we wouldn't have been
able to do either. By doing so, we delivered a severe blow to the
collective by destroying that hub."
Admiral
Strickler frowned deeply. "You've changed a lot of peoples lives by this
stunt."
Janeway
blanched. "Excuse me? What do mean 'stunt'?"
"You've
broken the temporal prime directive." He announced to Janeway's
disbelief.
"I did
NOT break the temporal prime directive… Admiral Janeway did. I used a Borg
transwarp hub to get home."
"Oh we
don't deny that," Strickler spoke easily. "but you still used her technology to
get your crew home. Since when does a Starfleet vessel exist just to protect
itself?"
Janeway
could not honesty believe what she was hearing. After all the losses and
sacrifices to get to this point. "I saw an opportunity to get my crew home. I
took it." She defended herself severely.
"We are
not unsympathetic to that fact. Your loyalty to Starfleet is not in question,
just your adherence to regulations." Ross interjected.
"We…
haven't decided unanimously on how to deal with this infraction." Strickler
glanced an intense look at Admiral Paris. "But we'll let you know in a few days.
Dismissed."
She
stood up and jutted her chin out proudly in acknowledgement and left.
Seven
stood with her fists clenched at her side and her face bone white as they passed
judgment over her. "I thought you were aware of this fact. Did you not receive
the Doctor's medical reports?"
Admirals' Paris, Strickler and Necheyev sat before her
at the metallic oblong table. Necheyev's eyes were cold and hard, while
Strickler's were indifferent. Admiral Paris frowned while looking down at
his stapled hands looking pensively thoughtful. Apparently, Ross could not
attend as he was absent for this hearing.
"Those
reports are very interesting." Necheyev commented. "And I assure you we've read
them… thoroughly, but right now I am very concerned about this ability you have
retained from the Borg."
Seven
linked her hands in her lap. "I have no intentions of assimilating anyone or
anything. It is an unpleasant process for both participants and I am now
an individual with no such compulsions."
"And
we'd like to believe you," Strickler spoke up. "but based on your EMH's reports
you have the tendency to malfunction and although you haven't assimilated
anything to date… this greatly concerns us that it could
happen."
"I
assure you--"
"Can
you guarantee that you will not malfunction in the future?" Admiral Necheyev
asked her accusingly.
Seven's
confidence faltered. Of course she could not guarantee that. She was still
18% Borg. "I cannot, my cybernetic systems require maintenance and occasionally
some units require replacement." She explained in a low voice.
"You
see our dilemma then," Strickler divulged. "Imagine how the public would feel if
they knew you had the ability to turn them into drones in a few seconds.
There could be panic not to mention the threat to you."
Seven
leaned back stiffly in her lone chair on that side of the table speculating. "I
give you my word, I will not assimilate anyone. I do not wish to lose my
individuality that I have struggled so hard to acquire."
"And I
wish that were good enough, but it's not." Necheyev replied. "I want to know if
there is a way to disable your ability to assimilate?"
"Is
that really necessary?" Admiral Paris spoke up addressing Necheyev.
"Yes,"
She replied clipped and Paris did not respond. He hadn't been participating or
questioning much in these debriefings, preferring to stay quiet and observe, but
he knew they would need his vote when the time came.
Seven
was caught off guard, "I… I have not considered it, I do not know. Drones do not
consider not having the ability, they just do."
"Well,
unless you want to have a security escort with you wherever you go for the rest
of your life, I suggest you found out. In the meantime, I want another opinion
other than your doctor's and Admiral Ross wants you to undergo a psychiatric
evaluation tomorrow starting at 08:00."
Seven
had already undergone an extensive physical as did all the Voyager crew the day
after they arrived back in Earth's orbit. She did not feel another one was
warranted or necessary. Angered by the threat of being mistreated because she
was Borg, Seven retaliated harshly. "So this is human freedom."
"Sometimes freedom comes with a price to protect the
greater good!" Necheyev spat.
"I
refuse to become a slave because of your misguided fear!"
The
blonde Admiral opened her mouth to speak very close to arresting the arrogant
ex-Borg on the spot when Admiral Paris spoke up interrupting her.
"Seven," Admiral Paris said lightly trying to diffuse
the tension in the room. "You have to trust me. We need you to do this… It
is important. I'm sure we will come to a mutually acceptable agreement.
After all, you want earth to remain a safe place for all its citizens, don't
you?"
His
speech calmed her down some. "Yes I do, therefore, I will comply."
Seven
explained everything to Chakotay as soon as she entered their shared temporary
apartment. Seven was very upset and he was having a difficult time calming her
down so he called Captain Janeway and explained it to her over a
communiqué.
Janeway
said she'd be right over despite the fact that it was almost 20:00 hours and she
had her own version of a bad day. She jumped into her loaned hovercar and made
it to San Francisco in record time. She parked the car outside and was
knocking on the door inside 30 minutes.
Chakotay opened the door, which revealed a brooding
Seven sitting stiffly on the couch.
"Captain," Chakotay seemed relieved to see her. "Maybe
you can cheer her up. I've tried everything."
"I'll
do my best," She answered entering the apartment. She immediately went to sit
next to Seven. The young woman looked more angry than anything else.
"Seven?"
The
blonde looked up into Janeway's accepting and concerned eyes. They held more
emotion than Chakotay's did and the mental comparison in her mind caught her off
guard.
"Seven," Janeway didn't want to acerbate her condition,
but she needed to find out the facts. "Please tell me what is bothering
you."
Seven
looked from Chakotay to Janeway and something passed over the young woman's
eyes. Was it uncertainty?
"Seven,
tell the Captain what happened." He tried to encourage her. "I'm sure she'll be
able to help."
Seven
almost panicked. What she had to say she did not want to say in front of
Chakotay. That look passed over her eyes again and Janeway thought it to be
fear. Could it be possible that what she has to say makes her
uncomfortable around Chakotay? Janeway played a hunch.
"Chakotay, could you fix me some coffee please?" She
asked him politely, since he was just hovering above them.
"Of
course. Would you like anything Seven?"
"Water
please… "
He
nodded and went into the kitchen disappearing from view.
"Seven
what's bothering you?" Janeway asked quietly.
She
swallowed before speaking. "There is only one way for me to guarantee my
inability to assimilate anyone." She stared at her left hand encased in
mesh.
Janeway
followed her gaze. "What is it?"
"They
would have to remove my hand." She revealed trying to suppress the glistening
moisture in her eyes while consigning to the loss of another part of her
dwindling humanity.
Janeway's eye grew large. "I don't understand. I know
your assimilation tubules are part of your left hand but how could they remove
it without severing your human hand underneath?" Janeway finished appalled at
the idea.
Her
face grew serious and she flexed the metal enclosed fingers. "Because it is not
my original hand."
The
Captain's jaw dropped open involuntarily completely horrified. "No," she
breathed out in a whisper. All those years together on Voyager and she had not
known that.
Seven
looked quizzically at the Captain noticing how much it bothered her mentor over
what had happened to the blonde so long ago. "It is… ok. My human hand was
severed when I came out of the maturation chamber. I was outfitted with
this hand so I could withstand the heavier Borg attachments and voltages
required for making repairs."
Janeway
gently put her right hand over Seven's meshed covered one. "Does it hurt…?"
"No,"
Seven replied touched by Janeway's sentiment. "Rather it is more sensitive than
my human hand, which is precisely why I do not wish to lose it." She was visibly
unsettled. "It is a part of me now… and all I have left. As my human hand is
gone…" Despondency crept into her tone.
Without
thinking, Janeway brought her left hand to Seven's cheek. "That's not going to
happen. Do you hear me? I won't let them, but let's keep this to ourselves for
now… Ok?" Janeway told her adamantly while trying to keep her voice down, but
Seven wasn't completely in tune with the Captain words.
The
touch on her face, so innocent at first sent bolts of electricity through her
face. She stared into Kathryn's eyes now mostly blue with only a tinge of
grey outlining the cornea. The Captain's mouth parted and Seven glanced
down at her fine wine shaded lips. She thought she saw Janeway's ears
redden some and her breathing increase as she peered back at Seven.
The
auburn haired officer felt the cool soft skin from Seven's face slowly getting
warmer under her fingertips. Seven stared at her so oddly. A current shot
through her hand, traveled up her arm and into her torso spreading a warmth and
giddy feeling all throughout her rapidly warming body. A pang of arousal
engulfed her suddenly. Janeway then focused on the full red tinted lips before
her and she swore her face moved closer a few inches on its own before an
interruption snapped her out of it.
"All
right, here comes one water and one coffee." Chakotay called out before
appearing in the doorway.
Janeway
snatched her hand away from Seven's face much to the stunned surprise of the
younger woman and she stood up to meet Chakotay hoping her face didn't give away
her sin. Damn! Was I about to kiss her?!
Janeway
took the offered mug and swallowed her dry throat before speaking. "Thank you."
She took a drink of the hot liquid as she strolled around the living room trying
to calm down. She closed her eyes as she tasted the bittersweet
sample. Not as good as her mother's but definitely better than the
replicated version.
"So,"
He handed the water to Seven. "Did you enlighten Kathryn?" he asked.
"Yes,"
she replied concisely still thoughtful more over Janeway's actions than their
conversation.
Janeway
regained her boundaries and thought carefully about Seven's problem. "Has the
Doctor been maintaining your implants?"
"No,
they will not allow him to visit me."
Chakotay shrugged nodding in agreement.
"When
do you leave tomorrow for your appointment?" Janeway inquired in command mode
again.
"I must
participate in a mental assessment at 08:00 before proceeding to their medical
bay for a physical."
"Expect
me at 07:00 tomorrow. I'll bring the Doctor. We'll see if he can shed some
light on this problem."
Chakotay scratched his chin. "Kathryn, the guards
outside won't allow him to visit."
She
rose a sharp eyebrow in response. "What makes you thinks they'll know he's
visiting?"
That
night as soon as she arrived at her mother's home, Janeway brushed past her
mother and went up the stairs to her room.
"Kathryn?" Her mother called from down the
hallway.
"I'm
here mother," She replied quickly before heading for her computer terminal that
was on a desk located against the far wall.
"Is
everything all right? You rushed out of here earlier." Her mother appeared in
the doorway in a nightgown.
"Yes,
everything's fine," she lied. "I just need to take care of some business." She
replied turning to face her mother as she sat down at the desk.
Gretchen was the wife of an Admiral and she knew the
signs of reticence. She knew when they were keeping things from her. This was
not her daughter in front of her now, but the Starfleet officer she had
become.
"If you
care to talk about it--"
"I
can't," she interrupted quietly lowering her head, thinking of both her
professional problems and her personal problems with Seven.
"I
see." Gretchen never let their necessary secrecy deter her from inquiring if she
thought her loved ones were in emotional turmoil. There was a look in her
daughter's eyes of sadness. "You aren't in any trouble… are you?" Her mother
asked lightly.
"No,"
Another partial truth. "I need to help a friend that's all."
"Is
that all?"
"Yes,"
she answered evenly. "I need to call someone now."
Her
mother knew a polite dismissal when she heard one. "Very well, but I am here if
you need me Kathryn." Her mother reached in to close the door behind
her.
"I
know." Her mother heard her daughter say almost inaudibly as she closed the
door.
Janeway
pondered over her mother's departure for a brief moment before opening her
terminal and sending a private message to the former EMH of Voyager.
Seven
walked up the stairs to the shared bedroom feeling confused and dismayed over
the past 11 days. Nothing seemed what it appeared and everything was not as she
expected. Her future was uncertain, her feelings were jumbled, chaotic at best
and she didn’t know what she felt or for whom.
She was
beginning to think she had made a mistake as she changed into a pair of loose
Starfleet issue pajamas before joining her boyfriend in the queen-sized bed.
She
stared at the ceiling and pondered what had happened that evening with her
former Captain. Seven had felt a connection of sorts. The connection was
good and Seven felt at peace with it… So why did she pull away so
suddenly? She did not seem disgusted by my implants nor adverse to being
closer. Janeway had shown more honest affection in that one moment than
Chakotay had in their entire courtship.
Seven
wondered if he was truly giving her time to adapt to their relationship or if he
was too afraid of intimacy with her to suggest it.
"Chakotay, are you awake?" she questioned.
"Sort
of." He grumbled. Then he sighed and turned over to look at her. "I'm sorry, I
guess I'm worried about these hearings too. My sessions haven't been going
all that well either."
Seven
nodded, but that was not what was on her mind. "Is there a reason why you have
not attempted intimacy with me since I kissed you on Voyager?"
Chakotay swallowed lightly. "What do you mean? I've
kissed you."
"Yes,
but do you… desire me?"
He
smiled, "I asked you to consider marrying me, didn't I?"
"Yes,
you did."
"Listen
Seven," he explained. "I know you're new to all this and I want to do right by
you, so there's no rush. It will happen when we're ready."
Seven
gave him a half grin. He was really very kind and compassionate if not
overly passionate about her. Not to mention, extremely patient compared to
Seven's knowledge of normal human mating habits.
She
went to touch his face with her implant hand and his eyes hesitated on the mesh
before returning to her eyes with a slight smile.
"Perhaps you are right," Seven disclosed disappointed,
noticing both his hesitancy and her lack of not feeling something more. "Good
night."
The
next morning, Kathryn arrived at 07:00 promptly after having a terse
disagreement with the Doctor. He did not appreciate having to be smuggled, but
since his own hearings were still going on and he cared deeply for Seven, he
agreed to do it. So Janeway went to his temporary quarters in an adjacent
building and smuggled him out just before heading to Seven's
apartment.
Seven
let her Captain in and closed the door.
"Why is
there only one guard today?" Janeway questioned curiously.
"Chakotay went out for his morning run. One of
them always follows."
"Oh,"
Janeway considered it. All the better, she thought. "I think we should
take this upstairs… perhaps your bedroom?"
Bedroom!?
Seven blushed at the concept. "Captain?"
Janeway
looked at her puzzled for a moment. "So your remaining escort doesn't hear
anything… "
Seven
was perplexed and stood rigidly. "Hear?" She couldn't be referring to that,
could she?! The ex-drone couldn't explain to herself why odd images and
visuals cascaded through her mind. She would have considered them
inappropriate at best. Does one think of their Captain and friend in
that manner?
"The
Doctor tends to be loud." Janeway eyed her suspiciously as she pulled out the
mobile emitter. Was Seven feeling ok?
"Of
course," the young woman recovered quickly leading Janeway upstairs after seeing
the emitter. Seven had no idea why the statement had such an odd connotation to
her.
"You're
really worried about tomorrow, aren't you?" Kathryn asked upon entering the
bedroom.
"Yes,"
Seven concurred readily to cover up her confusion. She was mystified at what she
had been thinking and it unsettled and excited her.
Janeway
keyed in a few commands and the infamous EMH appeared. "Please state the nature…
oh!" he realized where he was. "Hello Seven."
"Doctor," she greeted.
"There's one other thing I have to do." Janeway tapped
her combadge and spoke a few choice words including security encryption codes
and a plethora of medical equipment was beamed onto Seven's bed.
"There
you go Doctor. You should have everything you need to examine Seven properly."
Janeway turned toward the stairs. "I'll be downstairs."
Janeway
waited downstairs making herself a cup of coffee and sat down quietly on the
sofa until the Doctor finished his assessment around 40 minutes later and both
he and Seven joined her.
The EMH
walked over to the Captain, "There is no reason why they would have to sever her
hand." He informed her calmly. "Her nanoprobes can be programmed not to
assimilate. It's a lengthy procedure, but not too difficult. I've programmed
them to do worse." He finished explaining thinking of the battle with species
8472.
Janeway
looked up at him wistful. "Will their doctor's know about her hand?"
"If
they do a thorough physical, yes. They won't know about m ability to alter the
programming of her nanoprobes."
"If we
need you to testify on her behalf--"
"Of
course I will." He interrupted. "If I'm allowed to."
She
frowned, "Oh, you will be." Determination was etched into her face. "If it's
necessary."
Time
was moving close to 08:00 when Seven spoke up. "I must leave to go to my
assessment," she informed them, relieved that
she would not have to lose her hand.
Janeway
stood up and put an arm on Seven's shoulder. "Let them do most of the talking
and don't tell them anymore than you have to."
Seven
agreed with a non-verbal tilt of the head. "Chakotay should be back
momentarily," she announced before leaving. The Doctor waited in the
kitchen until after Seven had left before Janeway ventured in to join him.
He was
leaning against the countertop, supporting his head on his chin and sporting a
very pensive look as he stared at the floor. "Captain, there's something else I
found out."
Seven met Counselor Troi at
Starfleet Headquarters where she waited in the lobby as usual before her
appointments began.
When the Counselor called her into
her office, Seven sat stiffly in the chair before her waiting for the grilling
of questions she expected.
That didn't happen
though.
Counselor Troi suggested they go
to Starfleet Academy. There was another young ex-Borg male that she had been
assigned to and she knew that Seven was fond of him from their time on
Voyager.
"Icheb?"
"Yes," Deanna replied smirking.
"He's been taking classes for over a week now. He was very anxious to start and
since the Admirals' were quite impressed with that, they agreed to it as long as
he was available for more briefings if necessary. Would you like to visit him?"
"I would love to, but I need
permission in advance to go anywhere as I have a permanent escort." Seven
glanced at the door. Her current guard was lounging in the waiting
room.
Troi smiled widely, "I'll take
care of that."
Arriving via transporters at
Starfleet Academy, The Counselor walked with Seven down a long corridor leading
to Icheb's room when she had forgotten to take care of something pressing. She
asked Seven to be excused saying the ex-Borg could head on alone to Icheb's dorm
and she would join her there later. Seven nodded her understanding. As the
Counselor disappeared down another corridor Seven continued on her way to the
dorm room where she was to meet with Icheb. She had not seen him in a long time
and missed him.
Before Seven reached the end of
the long corridor a loud, piercing siren went off. Emergency doors at both
ends of the corridor came slamming down cutting off her escape route.
Another larger door, a few feet behind her opened up, revealing sounds of broken
conduits and the smell of something burning. Seven didn't know exactly what to
do at first. She considered attempting to force the doors at the end of the
hallway, until she heard sounds coming from the damaged, smoking room. She
quickly went into the room to see who was calling out for help.
Immediately, Seven froze. Straight ahead, she saw Captain Janeway trapped
under a large fallen adrift about ten meters away.
It was loud and noisy, steam was
swirling around and the room was shaking significantly. Seven thought she
heard the Captain say something.
"Chakotay!" Janeway yelled and
pointed to her left, which was on Seven's right side.
Sure enough, Chakotay was 15
meters to her right. He was unconscious, blood dripping down his face. It looked
like a large metal beam had fallen and hit him in the head.
What would they be doing
here? Before she
could consider that further, she heard the computer inside the room announce
something amidst the chaos of noise.
"Plasma fire, evacuate level 3B,
30 seconds to plasma rupture of the coolant bypass system, imminent explosion."
She had no time to mull over why
they were here. She moved quickly towards the Captain formulating a plan as to
how she would get both of them out of this room in less than 30 seconds.
Fear coursed through her. It's not possible! she thought.
Unacceptable! She recanted to herself.
She reached the Captain, noticing
the conduit was crushing her legs. She grabbed the conduit to remove it.
It was heavy, but with her Borg enhanced strength, she managed through great
exertion to move it enough to slide her Captain out from underneath. She
pulled her triceps muscle in her right arm in the process, but ignored the
pain. However, she was unable to ignore the other twinge of fiery pain
that erupted in her shoulder on that same right arm. With her left-enhanced arm,
she picked up the Captain. She gently tried to lean most of the weight on
her left arm, but grimaced in pain as she had to use her right arm to balance
the Captain's weight.
The computer continued its
merciless countdown. "15 seconds until plasma coolant leak
rupture."
She reached the hallway and gently
putting the Captain down, swiftly returning to the room to get
Chakotay.
She picked him up, attempting to
carry him, when her right arm gave out, the pain shooting up into her nerve
endings, forcing her to cry out. Using only her Borg enhanced left hand
and arm, she managed to grab him across the chest and lift him to her
height. She would have to drag his feet and she knew it would slow her
down, but she had to get him out of this room.
"8 seconds.."
Only 8 meters to go! Her
right arm ached and her lungs were burning with the smoke from the plasma fire,
which gave off noxious fumes.
"5 seconds.."
Four meters more to go!
"3 seconds.."
She had two meters to go when the
emergency doors started to shut. "No!"
"2 seconds.."
With one last ditch effort, she
flung the Commander through the four-foot gap remaining before the doors shut
tightly leaving her inside. She fell to her knees gasping for air, waiting
for the inevitable.
"1 second.."
"0…"
There was a bright flash of light,
blinding Seven for a few seconds, before she realized, she was not dead.
She had felt no heat. Her skin was not on fire. She should have been dead.
After a few moments, she heard the door open.
"Computer! Freeze program!" she
heard a woman's voice say. "Seven! Are you all right!?"
It was Counselor Troi's voice. Her
hand was on Seven's shoulder assisting her to her feet as Seven's vision
cleared.
The Counselor looked worried as
she looked intently at the younger woman's face. There was a man next to
her looking at Seven oddly. Shrugging off her initial shock that she was
still alive, she remembered her Captain and the Commander.
"Captain Janeway! Chakotay! They
are injured!"
"How did you do that?" She heard
another familiar voice say unbelievably.
"It's ok, Seven.
Everything's been taken care of." The Counselor noticed the odd way Seven was
holding her right arm. "Seven, are you injured?" She inquired
perplexed.
"My right arm… is damaged." She
was still recovering her breath.
Upon further inspection, Seven
realized the stunned man wore the uniform of a high-ranking officer, an Admiral.
"There's no way you could have
saved both." He was amazed. "It's not written into the program."
"What?" Seven inquired astounded
by such a statement, finally noticing it was Admiral Strickler that looked
completely confounded.
"Seven, I think we should get your
arm looked at. Come on." The Counselor coaxed her towards the door, but
Seven looked at the Admiral stringently as she was leaving.
The
Captain paced the living room liked a caged animal awaiting Seven's
call.
"Kathryn you're going to rub the shine off the floors if
you keep that up." Phoebe jeered her.
Janeway
gave her a dark look and Phoebe frowned deeply. "I think I'll leave you alone."
She stated not amused by her older sister's morose attitude, but knowing well
enough to leave her alone.
Her
mother stood in the doorway between the kitchen and the living room staring
worriedly at her daughter.
"Why
don't you tell me what's bothering you, Kathryn?"
"Mother… " She warned as she stopped to look out the
front window. "I'm really not in the mood to discuss it."
"Fine,"
her mother said tersely. "Don't tell me anything just like your father. I'll
just wait under you're clinically depressed and stuck in your room for months.
Then it will be my and Phoebe's job to clean up the pieces of your mental
health!"
Janeway
turned to her mother grimacing as if stabbed. "This has nothing to do with
that!"
"I
know, but you left me no choice. I needed to get your attention. This change in
you over the last few days has me worried. I don't want to see you go through
that again, and I will also not tolerate disrespect in my household either. You
can mope around just as easily in San Francisco." Gretchen hinted.
Janeway
gasped at the possibility of her mother kicking her out of her childhood home.
"I'm sorry, mother." Kathryn knew she had been rude to her mother and distant,
but she did need her. Her families presence was comforting, despite her
inability to articulate her troubles verbally.
"It's
just so confusing. I'm about to lose everything, but I feel as if it doesn't
matter. That if only I could… I... "
Phoebe
listened from the stairs. She was shocked to hear such uncertainty and pain in
her normally confident sister.
"What's
happened?" Her mother asked sympathetically. "It's Starfleet isn't it? They're
not happy with you?"
"Yes,
but it's not just that. It seems like they want to prosecute Seven
severely."
"Is it
because she's Borg?"
"I
think so, but I also expected them to be more understanding than this!" The
pressure of the last 24 hours was wearing thin on Janeway's ability to hold it
in.
Her
mother was beside her quickly and put a compassionate hand on her daughter's
shoulder. Kathryn turned a pain filled face to her mother. It was full of
aggravation, concern and loss, all rolled up into one.
"Come,"
She coaxed her daughter. "Sit down and tell me what has you so upset."
She
nodded, sat down in the chair, folded her hands in front of her and explained in
detail what happened with her and Seven in regards to their debriefings.
She also reiterated that this information could not be shared with anyone else
as she was violating protocol by telling of her adventures with her futuristic
counterpart.
Phoebe
quietly came downstairs and sat next to her mother.
"Where
is this Admiral Janeway now?" her mother asked.
"She
died so I could get my crew home." Janeway stared at her hands.
"And
they blame you for this? Typical Starfleet," Phoebe commented angrily at what
they were doing to her loyal sister.
Gretchen put a calming hand on her younger daughter's
knee as she spoke to her older daughter. "But you're not her dear, how could
they blame you for her crime?"
"I'm
not so sure about that mother," Janeway claimed. "I mean… I could become her
under the right circumstances."
"Kathryn?"
"I
don't think she did it just to get her crew home. I think she did it because she
fell for one of the crew. Someone who ended up dying on her before she had
a chance to do anything about it."
"Fell?"
Her mother echoed.
Phoebe
blanched knowing exactly what Kathryn was talking about.
"Romantically… " Kathryn clarified
embarrassed.
Gretchen took her time to compose herself with the idea.
"I don't see why that's so bad Kathryn."
"It's
not proper to have an affair with a married member of my crew." She clarified,
not looking at them.
"Admiral Janeway did that and she told you!"
Phoebe exclaimed. It was unbelievable that her sister would do anything so
raunchy and immoral, but secretly Phoebe was pleased that her sister in some
time frame had the guts to be so bold and live a little.
"Not
directly, but she left me a PADD explaining certain things."
"It's
not like you're her Kathryn, you would never considering doing that with a
married person." Gretchen tried to soothe her disturbed daughter before she
noticed the look of guilt she received.
"Kathryn?"
Kathryn
looked up sharply at both of them and there was no denying the heartache and
longing in her mostly grey shaded eyes.
"Kathryn!" Gretchen called out disturbed. "You didn't
sleep with a married man did you?!"
"No!"
Janeway rebuked. "This individual is not married… not yet anyway." She added
somberly, not wanting to elaborate despite the incorrect gender reference.
Gretchen was relieved at that, but she was not convinced
and then the idea hit her. "Are you in love with this individual as well?"
Janeway
only looked at her refusing to respond, but with the watery build up in her
eyes, it wasn't hard to guess what she was feeling.
Seven was unusually quiet as they
headed for the local sickbay. The Counselor was concerned for the
ex-Borg. Seven's face was serious and dark as they entered the medical
bay.
The Doctor on duty saw them come
in and grabbed a medical tricorder on route to their destination, a local
biobed.
Seven noticed it was the same
Doctor who gave all of Voyager's crew their initial examinations. A Doctor
Harper.
His brow elevated slightly when he
saw her. "I've been expecting you, but not for another hour." Doctor Harper had
been ordered to do her examination.
"There's been a slight
complication." Counselor Troi informed him.
"I didn't expect you to be
injured." He commented taking a closer look at her as he ran a medical tricorder
over her. "What are your symptoms?"
Seven looked at him flabbergasted
holding her arm. "I am in pain," she uttered sarcastically. "My right arm,
obviously."
"I see," he scanned the area over
her right arm. "It appears you have almost severed your triceps muscle from the
bone. You have a slight biceps tear as well and your right shoulder is
separated." He frowned at Seven who showed no surprise at his
findings.
Counselor Troi was shocked that
such injuries, in her opinion severe, should have occurred in a holographic
environment. She was feeling pretty low. She was angry at Admiral
Ross and planned to give him a piece of her mind the next time she saw
him.
He rose one eyebrow, "What exactly
were you doing to cause such damage?" the Doctor asked.
Seven looked at the Doctor then to
Counselor Troi, with an expression that suggested she should explain.
"Perhaps, you would care to explain, Counselor?" she stated tersely.
The Counselor's heart
sank. She knows! She put a hand delicately on Seven's knee.
"I'm sorry, Seven. I was under orders."
Seven's face tightened. "So, the
Captain and the Commander? They were not real, correct?"
The Counselor nodded sadly as she
could sense Seven's anger.
"Holograms." Seven's voice
quivered in irritation.
"I'm going to give you something
for the pain." The Doctor proceeded to repair Seven's injuries, by running a
bone knitter and suture scanner over the damaged area.
"Pain is irrelevant." Seven said
distastefully in her anger.
"Oh! You think so, eh? " the
Doctor mused. "Wait until later when I have to reset your shoulder. Even
with today's technology, there's only one way to fix a separated
shoulder."
"Very well, proceed." She
acquiesced.
The Doctor injected a hypospray
into Seven's neck for the pain from the torn ligaments.
"Are you feeling any more
discomfort?"
"No."
"Good, since I can't fix your
shoulder until the swelling goes down, I'm going to do the examination now, if
you have no objections."
"None." Seven stated tersely, but
deep down she did object.
He ran more scans utilizing
different instruments that took well over thirty minutes. He pressed a hypospray
into her neck a few times and Seven was getting suspicious that he was doing
more than just examining her.
"Ok, let's put that shoulder back
in now." He remarked.
"You will need to wear a sling for
a few days until the subcutaneous ligaments and muscles heal. I strongly
suggest you follow that advice." He pressured her, positioning the sling under
the arm and over her neck.
Then he gently put his hands on
both shoulders. "This still might hurt a bit despite the pain
medication."
Seven hissed audibly as he pressed
her arm up and toward her shoulder joint putting it back in its rightful
place.
"...but since pain is irrelevant
to you, it shouldn't bother you." He jested. As soon as he said it and
looked into her red burning eyes, he knew he had made a mistake.
"You did that on purpose." She
stood up hovering over him. "Perhaps, I should demonstrate how it feels." She
stated while glaring at him severely.
He flinched and backed away from
her slowly. "No! Not at all, just kidding. You have a clean bill of health. You
can go now." He spoke nervously.
Troi could feel the anger coming
from Seven, but she knew the young woman did not intend to harm the rude Doctor
despite her verbal threat.
"Seven, I think we should talk.
Let's go." She didn't want to leave Seven without explaining her part in this
fiasco.
"I have nothing to say to you,
Counselor." Seven briskly walked out.
This was turning into a disaster
of a day, the
Counselor thought.
After they left, the Doctor
cautiously looked around and then carefully took the three vials he had
extracted and put them inside a shatterproof container before going into a side
room. Inside a concealed section of the wall, he opened a safe, put them inside
and closed the door shut tight.
Continued
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