Seven's Awakening
by Scar
I lived my life in shadows,
Never the sun on my face
Now I long for a mate,
But I feel so displaced
Day One:
Seven of Nine listlessly ran computations on her
computer terminal in the Cargo Bay where she resided. Despite her inner
confusion, it was an important task, one that Voyager's entire
Engineering team had not been able to solve even after two weeks of
trying.
An unknown anomaly was affecting the warp core,
despite finding no external readings to suggest any strange phenomenon
existed. There were no ships or planets particularly close to their
flight path yet they could find nothing to explain why Voyager could not
exceed Warp Six and although this was Voyager's normal cruising speed,
such a limited top speed would add years if not decades to Voyager’s
already long journey.
Unfortunately, the need to uncover the cause of
the disturbance was not enough to help the young woman's concentration.
She was distracted by errant thoughts that she could not get under
control and it was making her inefficient, a condition she abhorred.
Thinking back, Seven now realized just how
complicated her goal really was. Still emotionally a child with very
little practical experience in romance, she had no idea her decision
would come to this. Thinking logically falsely led the young woman to
assume that all she needed was more knowledge on the subject. Therefore
she researched the database thoroughly only to be confounded even more
by the abundance of contradictory information located there.
Love was apparently more subjective than logical
depending on an individual's viewpoint. Yet love seemed to make the
majority of humans happy or, at the very least, content with their
lives, both of which she did not feel, but wanted to.
If only I could only experience this first hand,
if I could feel the emotion, then I would completely understand human
love.
In her estimation, success would have allowed her
to grasp the essence of humanity, so she devised a hypothesis that
logically required testing. In light of her hypothesis, Seven had sought
out with the computers help, a suitable mate by entering her
requirements into a search parameter. Surprisingly, but based on her
criteria, the search algorithm decided this individual to be none other
than Voyager's first officer, Commander Chakotay.
Based on that result, Seven asked him for a date
and upon his acceptance, she had been dating him ever since. During the
first month of their partnership, they did things together that Seven
had not done before; things she had once considered trivial, but now
thought otherwise. She even took the initiative by inviting him to a
picnic in the Cargo Bay, serving him a light wine with the midday meal
and one evening, after bringing him a bouquet of flowers, Seven made a
bold move by touching his lips with her own in anticipation of her first
kiss.
At first, the newness of dating was enlightening,
but after a month, Seven knew something was missing. She had to admit
that she had grown to care for Chakotay, yet Seven cared for many of the
individuals onboard Voyager only that was not her goal.
To make matters more complicated, the past week
Chakotay had animatedly discussed coming 'out of the closet', with
regards to their relationship. Initially, Seven was adamant that they
keep their relationship quiet, but Chakotay argued that disclosure would
elevate their relationship to another level. How making their
partnership public did that was beyond her comprehension, yet she
capitulated for his benefit even though she found herself not quite
ready for that kind of publicity. Chakotay’s grand plan was to
'officially announce' it during a celebration that was scheduled for
this evening, at approximately 18:00 in the Mess Hall.
Yet regardless of his plans, Seven had to make her
own decision and she honestly did not know if she should continue or end
their affiliation. She speculated that breaking up with the Commander
before he announced anything, would keep the embarrassment of her
failure down to a minimum, but the blonde was uncertain if she should
conclude her research so soon and admit defeat.
Seven knew she did not comprehend all the possible
repercussions of her actions, but ever since her recent experience from
Unimatrix Zero, she had to acknowledge a strong growing inner need to
mate. This emptiness fueled Seven to recreate the emotions she had once
felt on the holodeck, yet after the dangerous and far reaching
conclusion to that experiment, she had to put romance and any instinct
for mating on the back burner… until the Doctor had successfully
corrected her cortical node malfunction.
That was over a month ago, and up until this
point, Seven had been incredibly impatient with her progress, but she
was now examining if she would ever able to connect with someone on a
personal, intimate level. She could no longer deny being lonely. Seven
wanted someone to love, wanted someone to belong to; in essence, Seven
wanted a small collective of her own.
Arriving on Voyager against her will forced Seven
to adopt the vessel and its crew as her new Collective, but it no longer
seemed to be enough. She needed a new Collective, a smaller more
intimate one… especially before they reached Earth, which to Seven was
only a matter of time. Not if, but when that happened, Seven knew
everything would change and not necessarily for the better for her. The
crew would disband and naturally go their separate ways, but where would
that leave her, a former Borg drone? Would she have the same
accessibility to Janeway; her Captain, friend and mentor? Seven would
probably not be able to see her every day, would not be able to serve
her or learn from her anymore. That possibility already produced a sense
of loss in the young woman forcing Seven to acknowledge that she had
much to do before that occurred.
First and foremost, the blonde had to prove to her
Captain that she could regain her humanity to its fullest potential. The
Captain's opinion of her was very important. Seven felt a strong need to
please her and it was more than just duty. Seven owed Captain Janeway
and wanted to make her proud. After all, it was Janeway's lone decision
to keep her onboard Voyager when no one else wanted to that gave Seven a
life worth living. The auburn haired woman was ultimately responsible
for giving Seven a second chance that very few former Borg drones get
and she didn’t want to waste it.
So, should I make my affiliation with the
Commander public knowledge or terminate the relationship?
Indecision made the young woman antsy and her
concentration on the computational analysis did not improve. Finally
after spending some time debating the pros and cons, inspiration entered
her cortical node. She could discuss her problem with the Captain. Her
mentor rarely refused her and Janeway's advice was invaluable in
all things regarding humanity. To Seven, Janeway was unequaled in wisdom
and compassion.
At the corner of her lips, a small smirk became
visible on Seven’s face.
Yes, a philosophical discussion with her Captain
was exactly what she needed. It would give her some much needed clarity
on the subject, since her inability to develop intense feelings for
Chakotay was a puzzling enigma she couldn't seem to solve on her own.
The Captain has been engaged to be married twice.
She will have the answers I am seeking.
The only problem was finding time in the Captain's
busy schedule.
*****
It was actually five minutes past the Alpha shift,
yet no one moved to leave their posts.
All was quiet on the bridge as Janeway and
Chakotay sat at ease in their command chairs. Tom was at the helm
position sitting comfortably before the large viewscreen. The fair
haired helmsman had the best view, which showed nothing spectacular at
the moment, only the ordinary blackness that was deep space with a few
dust clouds and some distant stars and planets sporadically dotting the
area.
Lt. Torres manned the starboard Engineering
station, while Ensign Harry Kim was at operations. Seven of Nine
occupied the secondary ops station on the higher level located directly
behind a railing and the two command chairs. Tuvok was faithfully
stationed at his security console monitoring their current position.
Despite still being on duty, the mood was light
and festive.
Captain Janeway had a smirk on her face as she
looked at the viewer. "Well, Mr. Tuvok?" She spoke up merrily.
"Are we there yet?"
"No," He replied tolerating their
needless human display of joviality.
"Well, don't keep me in suspense, Mr. Tuvok.
How long?" She teased.
"Approximately, one minute." He
responded evenly with extreme Vulcan patience.
"Excellent."
Tom and Harry smiled as the ship moved closer to
what they were all waiting for.
Finally, down to the last few seconds, Janeway
stood up to embrace the moment.
"Captain," Tom called out joyfully from
the helm position. "We've just crossed into the Beta
Quadrant."
With a wide smile, she opened a ship wide
communications channel. "This is your Captain speaking. I just
wanted to inform everyone that we've entered the Beta Quadrant. In light
of all we've been through, I just wanted to say that I couldn't be more
proud to serve with such a fine crew… As we traverse the next 30,000
light years to get home, I know we will find more shortcuts to shorten
our trip. I have every confidence that we will get home... There will be
a small celebration in the Mess Hall this evening. Please find the time
to stop by and join in on the celebration of being 30 years closer to
Earth. Thank you for your hard work and dedication. Janeway out."
"Only 30 more years Kathryn?" Chakotay
remarked playfully.
"It's better than 75." She returned
happily.
Seven raised an eyebrow at their playful banter,
knowing how necessary it was for humans to partake in it.
"I agree." He replied warmly.
Janeway stood up resisting the strong urge to
stretch her limbs in front of her bridge crew because of the stiffness
in her muscles. "Well Commander, my shift has long been over, so
I'm going to my quarters to change before I head to the Mess hall. I
intend to celebrate and enjoy some R & R for a change."
The tattooed man chuckled. "I'll be attending
a little later with a surprise announcement." Chakotay finished
with his eyes shining.
"I look forward to it Commander."
Janeway replied before heading towards the turbo lift.
As the auburn haired officer passed by Seven's
station, the young woman followed her to the turbo lift door.
"Captain, may I speak with you for a moment?"
Janeway turned around, putting her hand on the
younger woman's shoulder. "Would you mind if I talked to you later,
Seven. There are a few things I need to take care of. Besides, I'll see
you at the celebration tonight… right?" She finished, with a
sparkle in her eye.
"Yes," Seven answered with a nervous
edge. "but--"
"Good, I'll see you--."
"Uh, Captain?" Harry called out
tentatively. "There's a ship approximately 500,000 kilometers off
our port bow on a parallel course."
Tuvok studied his readings. "Their weapons
have been activated." He informed her as his hands moved over the
controls.
"Shields," Chakotay ordered, not taking
any chances.
Janeway turned a sourful face towards her first
officer as she reached the lower deck. "So far the Beta Quadrant
doesn't look any more promising than the Delta Quadrant." She
commented quietly.
He pursed his lips, giving her a regretful, but
hopeful look.
"We're being hailed." Ensign Kim
divulged.
The Captain moved towards the viewer. "On
screen."
An alien's face came up staring at her sternly.
His stare did not faze her as much as the pure silver emanating from his
pupils. It was rather pretty giving her a moment's extra pause.
He appeared to be a male alien, she estimated,
with long, dark, straight hair and a Fu Manchu mustache similar in style
to what most Klingons wore. His face was similar in structure to humans
with a slightly elongated jaw line and from what she could see on the
viewer, he wore a neat blue and gray two piece uniform.
"I am Commander Trezlar of the Kazarr
Alliance, state your purpose here." The alien spoke gruffly.
Janeway acknowledged that the less than stellar
greeting could be the alien's natural vocal cords and not necessarily
any predisposed attitude.
"I'm Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Starship
Voyager. We're explorers on our way home."
"And just where is your home Captain Janeway?"
"In the Alpha Quadrant."
His eyes widened. "You're explorers from the
Alpha Quadrant?!"
"Yes, we seek knowledge of new species, such
as you."
The alien seemed to meditate on that for awhile. A
sound that Kathryn could only guess to be a guffaw came from the alien,
but she couldn't decide if it was a laugh or a snort, good or bad.
"An interesting notion Captain Janeway, but
I'm afraid this isn't a very good time for exploring. I'm afraid
I'm going to have to ask you to leave our space immediately."
"My apologies, we didn't realize this area of
space was occupied, I--"
"It is owned by the Kazarr imperium and spans
the next 65 light-years. You have been duly warned."
Janeway became annoyed. "What exactly does
that mean?"
"I will not be held responsible for any loss
of life pertaining to your crew while in our space…"
Was that a threat? Janeway's
brow lowered.
"…And if you expect compensation for your
losses you will be denied any petition from our government."
Janeway blinked. "Come again?"
"I assure you Captain that I have no malice
towards you or your crew. I am simply being polite by asking you to
leave now or the consequences could be severe."
Even in her confusion at what he was trying to
say, Janeway didn't like threats. "Trezlar, I don’t appreciate
being threatened. My crew and I have been traveling through space on
route to my home planet for over seven years and I have no intentions of
turning around to avoid your sector of space unless you give me a better
reason than 'just leave'."
"You refuse?"
Janeway put a hand on her hip speculating if this
would lead to a confrontation, but something was off by this encounter.
Despite his earnest tone, the alien Commander didn't act like he wanted
a fight. She was missing a piece of the puzzle.
"Yes." She gambled.
"You insist on traveling through our
space?"
"I wouldn't unless it was absolutely
necessary." She waved a hand through the air. "I assure you
Commander we are no threat to you."
"Very well. I am sending you a copy of our
laws and regulations. You will adhere to them while you are here. You
must accept the conditions before proceeding. Do you understand?"
Startled, Janeway held her tongue to the plethora
of questions that were forming in her mind. This was most confusing.
"I'll take a look at it." She responded
diplomatically.
"I will await your reply."
Intrigued, Tuvok waited for the data to upload.
"Transfer the data to my Ready Room when it's
complete." Janeway ordered as she headed there herself.
*****
"So are you going to the celebration in the
Mess Hall?" Harry asked Tom as they were walking to the Ensign's
quarters. Both men had just left the bridge after a slightly extended
Alpha shift because of the non-confrontational, alien encounter.
"Of course, B'Elanna would have my head if I
didn’t." He gave a knowing smile. "I asked the Doc to watch
Miral while we were there."
"I bet he loved agreeing to that."
Tom laughed, "So who are you going to
bring?"
"Me?"
"Yeah."
The Asian man slumped in his gait. Obviously the
young man didn't have a date.
Tom gripped his friend's shoulder to stop his
progress. "Wait a minute. Don't tell me you don't have anyone to
bring?"
Harry shook his head innocently. "I honestly
didn't give it much thought." He fabricated.
Tom sighed. "Harry, when are you going to
live it up and get yourself a girlfriend?" He waved his hands in
the air.
"Maybe there isn't anyone on Voyager
compatible?" Harry defended himself. He didn't really want to have
this chat with Tom again.
"Compatible?!" Tom stayed in stride with
his friend. "You sound like Seven."
"I'm not asking her!" Harry replied a
bit harshly, giving the sandy haired helmsman a frustrated look. Even if
Seven could develop feelings for him, Harry knew he couldn’t handle
the severity of her personality and although she was quite beautiful, he
speculated that a relationship with her would be less than passionate
because of her Borg past. Of course, at times, he still fantasized about
her, but that was only in his dreams, mostly.
Tom's expression changed to contemplation as he
studied Harry's facial expressions. "Hey, you're not still in love
with her are you?" Tom jibed.
"Excuse me!?" Harry spoke sternly.
"For the record, I was never in love with her."
"Oh I know, it was purely a one way
affair." He teased.
"That's not true!" Harry denied.
"Oh?"
"I was only attracted to her, ok!! She is a
beautiful woman in case you haven't noticed."
Tom chuckled sarcastically. "Of course I've
noticed. I'd be dead not to!!
"I admit I was infatuated with her for
awhile, but I got over it. She's not ready for a relationship anyways…
So I never got the chance for anything more." Kim waved his hand
dismissively signaling that was all there was to it.
"Ok," Tom conceded. "How about
Megan?"
"What about her?"
"You still like her, right?"
"Yes… " He drawled out waiting for Tom
to get to the point.
"Well, ask her!" Tom stated annoyed that
he had to spell it out for his practically virginous friend.
"If you don't mind, I'd rather not talk about
this."
"Fine," Tom replied realizing he had
upset his friend. They were silent for the rest of the way to Harry's
quarters, but by the time they arrived at the entrance, Tom had an
excellent idea on how to make his friend feel better.
"Listen Harry, we all want and need
companionship to some degree… and although my carefree days are long
over, I have a holo-program that could help you if you want. I wrote it
years ago before I met B'Elanna." He paused, looked down both ends
of the hallway before leaning forward. "It's called Madame E."
He said in a lowered voice. "It stands for Madame Erotica--."
"Madame Erotica!" Harry exclaimed.
"Shh, keep your voice down. I don't want
anybody else finding out about this. I have a reputation to
uphold."
"What reputation?" Harry jibed.
"Very funny. You know I'm a family man now.
My wife might not appreciate the artistic value such a program has…
but you my friend are ready to experience the divine Madame E." Tom
slapped him on the back. "It relieves tension quite nicely."
Sighing, Harry took a deep breath.
"It'll teach you a thing… or two." Tom
gave him a wide mischievous smile. What do you say?"
Harry understood that his friend was only trying
to help his blues, but holo-suites weren't his cup of tea. "Sure
thing Tom, I'll consider it."
Tom slapped him on the shoulder jestingly.
"Great, just let me know when, because I've encrypted it so you'll
need a password, ok."
Harry had no intention of trying one of Tom's
sexual fantasy programs.
"I'll do that." He replied entering his
domicile.
Tom grinned from ear to ear as the door slid shut.
Shaking his head, Harry couldn't help but smirk to
himself.
*****
The Captain leaned back in her chair to review the
PADD she held in the palm of her hand as she read about Kazarrian law.
The Kazarr had strict regulations in regards to
interstellar war, such as; any of their ships found guilty of attacking
any vessels traveling through their space were subject to severe
penalties and infractions. In addition, casualties or damage inflicted
by any of their ships, by accident or otherwise was compensated for if
reported to the Kazarrian government within 30 days. Apparently,
survivors of an attack were entitled to reparations and even had legal
recourse in the Kazarrian judicial system if the initial compensation
was not deemed adequate by the injured party.
The data contained some history as well.
Apparently the Kazarr were at war with a species called the Grefahl and
had been for over two decades. The Kazarr laid claim to an area of space
that was disputed by the Grefahl and had been ever since.
It was no surprise to her that one of the main
stipulations of her crossing their area of space was if she agreed not
to sue in case of damage to her ship or accidental fatalities and
especially if they were incurred by the Kazarr's enemies.
In a private communication, they ironed out a few
more details before both were satisfied. He wanted her to avoid all of
their populated planets unless an absolute emergency occurred. He
stipulated that she should stay on a steadfast course through their
space not stopping for curiosity. In other words, taking time for
exploration was highly discouraged.
Having little choice, Janeway agreed to abide by
those demands hoping her ship would not be attacked by mistake. Trezlar
agreed that his people would not, but he could not promise that the
Grefahl would not. They were ruthless in his opinion and without honor.
So Janeway did the only thing she could to keep
her ship on the proper course without an extended delay. She
electronically signed the document and sent the data back to Commander
Trezlar.
Thankfully, after the negotiations were over,
Voyager continued unhindered on course for Earth.
Two hours later, well past the end of her shift,
Janeway finally left the Ready Room to go to her quarters to freshen up
and prepare for the Mess Hall celebration.
The chance meeting with the Kazarr tapered her
earlier elevated mood somewhat, but she had other things to be grateful
for and refused to let it get her down.
Janeway dressed quickly already having picked out
her outfit earlier. For the past few weeks she had been warring
internally with duty and her emotions and how they could co-exist
somewhat peacefully without tearing her apart. She had put it off for
years, but recently she just couldn't seem to shut it out of her mind
and the internal debate was wearing her down.
Janeway sat down on the edge of her bed, and
retrieved an item from her nightstand table. Opening up the small box
that she held in the palm of her right hand, she peered inside and a
small smile crossed her face. It was a ring. A friendship ring only, but
it was the thought that counted. It was a gift and she hoped the
conversation it invoked would turn into something more.
Pondering the possibilities, she stuffed it into
her pocket leaving her quarters with a bounce in her step.
*****
Back in Cargo Bay Two, Seven waited nervously for
Chakotay's arrival.
The decision having been made to announce their
affiliation tonight did not alleviate her tension. She was still not
sure this was the correct course of action. On an intellectual level,
Seven knew she was not 'in love'.
Wasn't she supposed to feel something more?
Especially when they pressed lips together?
Seven just figured there would have been more to
the dating experience now that she was an actual participant. Yet, no
matter how hard she attempted to feel something significant while being
with him, it did not happen.
Would copulating with him solve her problem?
She did concede that they had not yet copulated,
but her research also indicated that she should feel more of a physical
connection before engaging in intimacy.
Seven remembered studying the database about human
intimacy and related interactions, discovering that copulation in
conjunction with emotions involved complex biological manifestations
that she did not understand. It was this lack of comprehension that
challenged Seven's nature to be perfect in all things.
Having nothing better to do while she waited,
Seven pressed a few keys on her console and brought up the database she
bookmarked at the location labeled, 'Sex education'.
Seven stared at the words on the console, a frown
entering her delicate features as once again she became confounded. 'A
physical act meant to bring about a series of…?'
She still did not understand the word. What did it
mean?
What exactly was an orgasm?
The meaning hounded the perfectionist in her and
to make matters worse some of the explanations were not explanatory at
all. 'Brought on by mating.' Seven sighed. That much was obvious
even to her. 'Sexual excitement leading to a climax.' Seven
analyzed that. A climax is considered a
peak, a high, or possibly an apex… but of what?
One definition had said; 'the
orgasm is like a strong sensation that engulfs the entire body until the
lower extremities explode, spasming into an orgasmic release'.
Explosion?!
Explosion of what?
That did not seem particularly healthy. She reread the scientific
explanation.
'Sexual gratification occurs when the accumulation
of omycotin is enough to trigger a series of biological processes thus
resulting in the orgasm, which in turn releases fluids for the sole
purpose of procreation… '
There were so many verbal definitions, but none of
it could tell her what she wanted to know.
What did it actually feel like!?
Frustrated, Seven became severely annoyed at
herself for not understanding such a basic and normal biological
function.
Thankfully, the sound of the double doors opening
revealed her date's arrival so Seven quickly shut down her terminal,
fathoming that comprehension was not meant to be as of yet… or at
least, not until she experienced it firsthand.
Until then Seven would just have to be patient.
*****
Dressed in khakis pants and a white blouse,
Janeway walked into a booming celebration of loud chatter and laughing
crewman as she strolled through the double doors to the Mess Hall.
Carefree faces greeted her as she mingled about. Janeway was pleased
they were relaxing and having a good time for a change. It was a
positive sign that morale was rising. She just hoped traveling through
the Beta Quadrant would be a more positive experience than their Delta
Quadrant experience had been.
Spotting Tom and B'Elanna conversing with Harry
and Megan Delaney, the Captain pondered briefly if Harry was on an
actual date with the young woman. Janeway tried to keep informed about
the ship's gossip, especially when pertaining to a certain blonde member
of her crew. She was well aware of Harry’s crush on Seven from the
moment the Borg stepped foot on Voyager. Nonchalantly watching the young
man, Kathryn questioned if he still had a thing for her or if he managed
to get over it…
After all, I haven’t,
she noted ironically.
Surveying the room, Janeway noticed Tuvok’s
absence before remembering the Vulcan volunteered to command the
skeleton crew on the bridge during the second and third shifts.
Moving about, Janeway said hello to Ensign
Samantha Wildman who was conversing with some crewmembers from the lower
decks. Since Janeway couldn't remember their names on such short notice,
she stuck with a quick hello and a quicker goodbye.
After thoroughly searching all the faces in the
room, Kathryn realized a certain tall, blonde was not present. Yet since
Seven was not particularly fond of socializing, it wasn't unusual for
the former Borg to skip attending these types of social events. Still,
this evening's event would continue well into the early morning hours of
the next day, per Neelix's request so everyone would have a chance to
stop by if they wanted to. Janeway just hoped Seven would stop by before
she left because Kathryn had a lot to say to her charge… in private.
Feeling a tad nervous, Janeway pecked at the
snacks as she waited, but thankfully, she didn’t have to wait long.
Just as she dipped a carrot stick into the ranch dip, the doors to the
Mess Hall slid open to reveal Chakotay’s arrival along with his arm
looped within another more feminine arm.
All eyes turned on the couple for an instant
before going back to what previously held their attentions. Some
inquisitive eyes lingered longer, but one pair of oceanic eyes belonging
to a certain redhead became fixated on the couple for the longest time.
As her mind filled with unpleasant ideas of what
this joint arrival could signify, Janeway's eyes momentarily hardened.
Didn’t Chakotay mention something about a
surprise? Vigorously, she bit down on the
rest of her carrot stick, almost clipping her index finger with her
teeth in the process. Slowly, she exhaled taking a moment to clear her
pessimistic thoughts. Then taking in a deep breath, Kathryn speculated
that she was probably making more out of this mutual appearance than
what was warranted. Seven was most likely nervous and simply asked the
Commander to escort her, since Tuvok, Seven's preferred choice of
conversationalists was on duty. They probably met in the hallway on
their way here. A harmless, innocent
coincidence, which probably had nothing to do with Chakotay’s surprise
announcement.
Willing herself to relax, her eyes latched onto
the elegant form of the blonde as it glided closer to her position. The
woman's gorgeous aurora sent minor palpitations through Janeway's heart.
The young lady on Chakotay's side wore a loose dark red, satin blouse
with matching slacks and high heels. Her golden mane was worn down for a
change loaded with waves of curls just begging to be touched. The fair
skin of her face shined, powdered with a light dusting of makeup and a
generous application of ruby red lipstick on the plump lips which made
Kathryn suddenly weak in the knees. The glint of the shiny Borg metallic
object above her crystal blue eye resembled exquisite jewelry making her
all the more attractive, like a finely sculpted work of art. As the
lovely vision approached, the fluidity with how the taller woman walked
towards Kathryn sent goose bumps tingling down her spine.
"Seven, Chakotay," Janeway forced a calm
greeting.
"Captain," Chakotay sported a jovial
smirk on his lips.
"I'm glad you both came," Janeway
observed her first officer’s modestly dressed appearance; a brown
marquis vest with a white dress shirt underneath and tan marquis leather
pants. It was a severe contrast to Seven’s outstanding look causing
the redhead to smile inward.
"So,” Chakotay winked affectionately at
Seven. “What do you think of my surprise?"
"Pardon Me?" Janeway prayed she
interpreted him incorrectly until glancing at the taller woman revealed
cheeks tinted a pinkish hue.
"Seven and I have been dating," he
clarified proudly.
The shy, young woman looked at Janeway with a
guarded, but expectant expression.
"We have been for a few weeks now," he
added smugly.
Innocent happenstance my ass!! An
intense emotion she had not felt for quite some time passed through her;
jealousy… and never quite so strong, she noted, but it certainly
wasn't the only emotion, just the most prevalent so far.
She purposely remained bright faking a smile as
her disappointed heart did flip-flops. Only with years of command
training under her belt was she able to contain her facial expressions
despite her distress.
"Congratulations," she offered,
pretending to be happy for them. "I honestly had no idea," she
added truthfully. Much to her chagrin, no rumors had ever reached her
ears about this.
"We decided to keep it quiet. Seven is new to
this type of relationship, so we didn't tell anyone," Chakotay
explained with a wide grin, “until now that is.”
"I understand," Janeway lied, NOT
comprehending their need for secrecy; not with her.
"Would you care for something to drink Seven,
Kathryn?" Chakotay asked them.
Raising her implant, Seven noted his usage of the
Captain's birth name. It was interesting because she could not recall
ever hearing another crewman speaking with such familiarity. And even
though the blonde was aware that they were both off duty, it irked a
small part of her because she had never been given that privilege.
"Perhaps, a light wine would be
acceptable." Seven really did not want any liquid supplements at
this time, but acquiesced to appease him.
"I'm all set Chakotay, thank you."
Kathryn answered politely.
He smiled generously at the blonde, "coming
right up."
After he departed, Seven looked at Janeway
apprehensively. The blonde regretted not being able to speak to the
Captain before this gathering, therefore deciding to give the
relationship with Chakotay more time. She figured it would only delay
her inevitable failure if it continued along the same emotionless path.
Yet, despite her possible failure, it was oddly important to have
Janeway's approval. The young woman desperately wanted to know what her
mentor thought of her new union.
"Captain--"
"I'm truly happy for you, Seven."
Janeway interrupted, the words sounding forced. Swallowing her pride,
Janeway reached out to touch Seven's right hand. I have to be an
adult about this. "Chakotay is a good choice." For a few
seconds, she relished the warmth of the human appendage. If only I
had done something sooner. Kathryn silently chastised herself.
"Thank you," Seven replied politely.
"It is certainly a new experience for me."
"I can imagine," Janeway agreed.
Glancing about, she appeared to be more interested in the conversations
of other crewmen, when in fact she wanted to vacate present company.
Seven couldn't tell for sure, but something was
off in her Captain. Although the older woman smiled at her, it never
made it to the eyes. The vibrant, deep blue orbs started turning to a
shade of steel gray shortly after her and Chakotay's arrival and the
crimson coloration in the ears lobes suggested that Janeway might not be
feeling well.
"Are you functioning acceptably
Captain?" Seven asked with concern.
Janeway turned back to her pupil. “I’m sorry?”
Seven elaborated, "The surface temperature of
your outer epidermal layer has increased by 5.2 degrees in the last 2.4
minutes along with your heart rate at 24.2%. Your eyes have dilated
5.7%, changed from their normal azure to grey and your ears are
decidedly--."
"I get the idea Seven," Janeway's cheeks
became hot from her temperature rising in embarrassment. She's been
monitoring my vitals!? "Really… I'm fine." She asserted
forcing herself to calm down.
The Captain is disappointed in me,
Seven reasoned. "I… apologize if I have committed a social
error."
"No, it's not that… " Janeway exhaled,
trying to relax. "I just didn't know you had such an ability… to
that degree of accuracy."
"It is because of my Borg enhancements."
"I... ah… didn't know that." It was
good that Seven didn't ask her why she reacted that way. Janeway could
only fathom that as of yet, the blonde was none the wiser in
understanding bodily reactions with regards to sexual attraction. Never
the less, Seven's enhanced ability bothered the older woman. Now that
she was out of the competition for Seven's love, Kathryn did not want
her charge uncovering the truth.
Calling upon her command persona to control any
errant emotions lingering at the shock of discovering Chakotay had
stolen Seven from her, Kathryn made full-eye contact with the blonde.
"If you need to discuss anything… regarding your new
relationship, my door is always open." She mentally refused to
alienate her friend because of her feelings of jealousy.
"Thank you Captain," Seven tilted her
head, relieved. "I appreciate that. In fact, I wanted to speak to
you earlier regarding some questions I had, but you were occupied with
other duties."
"Oh?" Janeway asked curiously.
"Yes, you were unable to speak with me at
that time." Seven informed her, a trace of regret lingering in her
voice.
"I'm sorry I wasn't available Seven."
Again, Janeway touched Seven, this time putting her hand on the woman’s
left arm, near the bicep, purposely letting it linger before sliding
down and pulling away. This was her only joy, being able to touch Seven
casually and it was something she wouldn't give up unless forced to.
"Your free time is often lacking, but it is
understandable because you are the Captain of a Starship."
"That can certainly be true."
"However, in the foreseeable future, I am
sure I will have other questions."
"I'm sure you will." Janeway agreed, and
realizing her throat was rather dry, she gave the blonde a nod before
excusing herself. "Perhaps I will get something to drink after
all." One of many she would be consuming this evening, but she
would wait on the hard
stuff until after she retired
to her quarters.
The Captain hadn’t been in the Mess hall for
long, but already she really wanted to leave. Despite being in the Beta
Quadrant and closer to home, celebrating was out of the question. Even
with her ability to successfully fake being upbeat, the festive mood
turned sour, engulfing her into a black pit of emptiness. Obviously,
Kathryn had underestimated just how much Seven meant to her now that the
woman was unavailable. Yet, like all catastrophes she would deal with
this turn of events with maturity and dignity because she was the
Captain and needed to lead by example regardless of her lonely, broken
heart.
After getting herself a synthetic drink, Janeway
caught Chakotay rejoining Seven with their drinks so Kathryn wisely
stayed at the bar, knowing the younger woman would seek her out if she
wanted to.
Alone with her torpid thoughts, Janeway sipped her
drink, while leaning against the countertop. Forcing herself to listen
to a nearby conversation, Janeway was disappointed when it turned out to
be a theoretically discussion involving Mortimer Harrison and his
colleagues from the lower decks.
With that and having to watch Chakotay and Seven
flirt with each other from across the room, Janeway had had enough. Even
though, Seven's flirtation looked forced and unnatural, it was
disturbing to witness.
So, after thanking Neelix for a superb job at
preparing the celebration, Kathryn quietly left the Mess Hall knowing
this was not going to be a good night. She could only hope that over
indulgence in alcohol would induce sleep.
*****
Constant longing for her soul,
Untainted beauty not mine to own,
Fare thee well, my broken heart
Upon entering her quarters, Janeway swiftly went
into her bedroom, pulled open the nightstand, tossed a small container
in it and slammed it shut before slumping down on her bed, depressed.
Emotions swirled over each other; hurt, anger,
loss and without a doubt, jealousy.
They were her closest friends yet they chose to
conceal this from even her. Janeway knew her feelings of betrayal were
irrational, but she couldn’t help it. Seven came to her for
everything, so how come the young woman didn't come to her about this?! Why?!
Why not tell me?! Didn’t she trust me?! Janeway would not
have interfered, not if she chose Chakotay. Kathryn would have
accommodated Seven’s needs within reason; as long as it didn't
compromise the safety of her ship.
It wouldn't have worked anyways,
she tried to convince herself, failing miserably.
Seven…
She was an angel, a golden goddess that Janeway
had been fortunate to succeed in rescuing from the evil that was the
Borg and blessed with the responsibility to assist the innocent woman in
regaining her lost humanity.
Reluctantly, Janeway finally admitted to being in
love with her. Unfortunately, she was too late to do anything about it.
Only a few days ago, Kathryn had made the decision
to risk initiating a closer relationship. After months of never ending
internal debates regarding everything that could go wrong, she threw
caution to the wind and decided to do something about her feelings. Of
course, Kathryn hadn't planned to declare her undying devotion so soon
despite it being the truth, but she was going to find out if Seven had
any feelings for her above that of friendship.
That was the plan, but Kathryn never got the
chance.
It was going to be difficult dealing with her own
feelings and keeping them out of her professional life, but she would
try to be happy for Seven…
And her First Officer.
Somehow, she would just have to repress what she
felt until it diminished with time. Otherwise, she was damned for the
entire trip home, some 30 years and counting.
*****
Day Two:
"Captain?"
It was early morning when the call came through on
the computer's internal communications system waking her from a sound
sleep.
Fumbling for her COM badge on the nightstand,
Janeway’s tone was raspy from sleep as she replied. "Yes?"
She was annoyed at the interruption having consumed too much whiskey the
night before and she wasn't in the mood for any scientific curiosities
such as a nebula or a cosmic string.
"We have company. You better come to the
bridge." It was Chakotay and he
sounded serious.
"I'm on my way," Janeway responded. The
possibility of a threat to her ship and crew always brought her out of a
morose state.
Five minutes later, she was dressed and on the
bridge.
"Report!" Janeway announced as soon as
the turbo lift opened, but as she glimpsed the view screen, she knew
exactly what the problem was. The roundness of the mechanical object
even at this distance could not be mistaken.
"Long range sensors have discovered a Borg
scout ship." Chakotay informed her.
"How far?"
"Approximately one million kilometers."
Tuvok responded.
"And it appears to be heading in our
direction." Chakotay added.
Kathryn shrugged. "Red Alert!" Janeway
commanded. The bridge was sprayed with roving red lights as the klaxons
sounded.
"Janeway to Seven of Nine, Please report to
the bridge immediately." She called out to the computer.
"On my way, Captain."
Seven responded with alacrity. Mere minutes later, after stepping out
onto the bridge, the blonde’s eyes widened in fear.
"Can you tell us anything about this Borg
vessel Seven?” Janeway asked. "It's a long way from Borg space.”
Seven kept staring transfixed at the view screen.
Receiving no answer, Janeway turned to look at the
ex-Borg. "Seven?" She called out with concern. "Can you
hear them?"
Seven seemed puzzled by it all. "No,"
she said in a small voice. "I cannot. I should be able to hear
them." Confounded, she had no clue what it meant. Swallowing down
her trepidation, she went to her ops station just behind the command
chairs.
"Are you all right?" Chakotay asked his
girl friend.
"Yes, I am functioning adequately." She
remarked before turning toward Janeway. "I cannot explain this
Captain. I have thoroughly scanned this area from Astrometrics. There
are no Borg conduits in this area, no aperture exit points anywhere in
this sector."
"Well, I'm sure we'll find out soon
enough." Captain Janeway sat back down in her chair giving a stern
look towards the view screen.
"Mr. Paris, plot an intercept course."
"Ma'am?" Tom questioned.
"Do it Tom."
"Aye Captain." Tom responded.
"Captain?" Seven questioned, startled by
the command as Tom was. "Why are you heading towards the
Borg vessel?"
"We can't outrun them and since they're
already heading for us, I thought I'd return the favor."
Seven did not agree with the assessment.
"Captain," the blonde lowered her voice. "that is not a
wise course of action."
Janeway was peeved at her recent luck and she
certainly didn't owe Seven any explanation for her actions. "Never
the less, it is my decision to make and I intend to confront them."
She grouched.
Raising an eyebrow at how terse the words had been
delivered, Seven scrutinized the Captain wondering why she responded
with such irritation. The young woman had only meant to point out that
the Captain was mistaken in her tenacity to keep testing the Borg
Collective.
Chakotay eyed his Captain suspiciously. Seven was
known to openly disagree with her and it rarely caused Janeway to rebuke
so strongly. Seven's tone had not been disrespectful, she had merely
been stating her opinion the way she always did... point blank.
Rubbing her forehead, Janeway speculated that she
might have been more verbally harsh towards the young woman than was
necessary and although unsettled by it, she wasn’t about to apologize.
Shifting in her chair, she simply blamed it on the
remnants of her mild hangover as she impatiently waited for the
rendezvous with the Borg.
One hour later, Harry spoke up first.
"Captain, we're being hailed."
"On screen," Janeway moved towards the
view screen, expecting the normal Borg greeting, but when a familiar
face came up, she heard a subtle gasp from behind her.
"Captain Janeway!" The alien greeted
exuberantly, his eyes drifting behind her to land on Voyager's
Astrometrics officer. "Annika!"
"Axum," Seven acknowledged, clearly
stunned.
Chakotay's gaze passed from Axum to Seven and
back, his face stiffening.
"You have no idea how good it is to see
you," he offered honestly. "Permission to come aboard with a
colleague Captain Janeway?"
She raised her hand. "One moment. Are all of
you--"
"Individuals? Free from the Collective?"
He finished her thoughts for her. "There are no Borg drones onboard
this sphere that answer to the Queen. The central plexus has been
destroyed. We only keep the alcoves online for those of us who need to
regenerate. I assure you Captain, there is no collective consciousness
here."
"I see," Janeway was truly perplexed.
"Very well then, I see no reason why you can't join us. Permission
to come aboard."
*****
The Commander followed his Captain into the
Conference room with a deep frown etched into his brow as he walked past
her to his seat.
"Chakotay…" Janeway called out after
seeing his expression. "Maybe you should wait this one out."
She suggested.
"I can handle it." Chakotay sat down
stiffly.
Pursing her upper lip at his tone, she acquiesced
not wanting to start an argument. "All right," The Captain sat
down in her chair at the head of the table.
"You know why he's here don't you?"
Chakotay asked in a low tone.
Janeway studied her first officer. "No, I don’t."
"I guess you would prefer not to."
"What is that supposed to mean
Commander?" Janeway challenged him.
Chakotay eyed her intensely. "Don't you see?
He's come for her."
"You can't be certain of that," she
responded quickly. It was too soon to speculate on Axum’s intentions,
although she knew he could be right.
“I honestly thought this would bother you
more." He snorted.
Frowning at his attitude, she retorted. "And
I think you're jealousy is doing your thinking for you."
"Oh?" He threw back at her. "And
what of you? She's your unfinished project.”
“What?” Janeway felt her face grow hotter.
"What did you say?"
"You took her from the Borg, taught her how
to become human, but you haven't finished. She still needs your guidance
Kathryn… but if Axum coerces her into going with him, she’ll lose
that support. After all you’ve done for her, can you let her go that
easily?”
“Commander… ” Janeway warned. She didn't
need this from him… Not now.
Chakotay wasn’t certain he made his point. “Don’t
you even regard her as a valuable part of our crew anymore? Or does your
position as Captain absolve you from being her friend and doing what's
right for her?"
"That's enough!" The Captain retaliated
in anger. He couldn't know how much his words tore at her. Deep down
Janeway knew it was his fear lashing out, but as his friend, she didn’t
deserve it and as his Captain, his words were disrespectful,
therefore, she wasn’t going to take it.
Hard, cobalt eyes landed on him. “Let me make
one thing very clear Commander… I don’t appreciate your tone or your
accusations.”
Chakotay relented. "I sorry, I didn’t mean
to be disrespectful, but--."
"Being Captain does not absolve me of
anything, but irregardless of that fact, she's an individual now and has
the right to make her own decisions! She's earned that and I will NOT
make her stay onboard Voyager, if she doesn't want to."
"She wants you to be a friend, not just her
Captain--”
Janeway cut him off. “This isn't a
civilian ship, I can't always be her friend!"
“I realize that, but your opinion is very
important to her and Seven feels she has let you down. She doesn’t
believe she has lived up to your expectations.”
"That's absurd!” Janeway's shook her head
in disbelief. “She has exceeded my expectations!"
"Well," Chakotay countered. "maybe
you should let her know that… once in awhile."
Janeway’s anger melted away as she thought about
Seven trying to live up to unrealistic expectations. “I didn’t
realize…” She never meant to put pressure on the young woman to be
something she wasn’t. Kathryn’s only goal was to help her adjust to
life onboard Voyager.
“Now you do.” Chakotay stated.
"I do think of her as a friend Chakotay…
but as Captain, I don’t always have the time to see to the crew’s
emotional needs."
“I’m not talking about the crew, I’m talking
about Seven. Her needs are different.”
Feeling guilty, Janeway rubbed the brow of her
forehead. She just couldn’t seem to win no matter what she said or
did.
“Seven needs your support and your advice
Kathryn. Someone needs to explain to her that what she has here on
Voyager is irreplaceable.” Chakotay stated persistently.
As the hidden meaning of his words sunk into her
mind, Janeway lifted her head to glare at him. He was using guilt
tactics to appeal to her close relationship with Seven because he wanted
the young woman to stay onboard for his benefit.
"I see," she responded calmly despite
feeling severely aggravated. Only Seven has
the right to say what’s best for her.
Thankfully the doors swooshed open to let Tuvok,
Ayala, Axum and a dark-haired woman enter the Conference Room. Tuvok
stood to the side as the handsome young alien took a seat at the end of
the table with the woman seating herself next to him.
"This is Laura,” Axum introduced his
companion. “You've met her before in Unimatrix Zero."
Janeway introduced the officer's present.
"This is Commander Chakotay, my first officer," she motioned
to her right. "and you've already met my Chief of Security, Tuvok."
She waved her hand in his direction.
Axum nodded. "It's good to see you again
Captain. We haven't forgotten what you and your people did for us."
Janeway smirked. "I'm just glad you reaped
the benefits from it. We've come across some Borg cubes recently…”
She commented referring to a Borg infested nebula they recently passed.
“and they weren't as independent as you are."
"I know, not everyone made it. A lot of us
from Unimatrix Zero were put to death. It was an impossible task to
mount an effective resistance against the entire Borg Collective,
especially with so many of us scattered across hundreds of vessels.
Luckily our vessel had quite a few Borg with the recessive gene, so we
were able to provide serious opposition, but it wasn’t without cost.”
"I'm sorry to hear that. It must have been
difficult."
"It was. We had a civil war just to keep our
own scout ship free from Borg influence. Luckily, over time we managed
to turn the tides, but it took months of fighting each other before we
eventually defeated them. After that we liberated all the remaining
drones and plotted a course away from Borg space and Species 8472 as
fast as we could.” Axum stroked his chin thoughtfully. “Since then,
we’ve been through so many skirmishes I didn’t think we’d ever
find a friendly face again. It was blind luck that we found you.”
Janeway estimated briefly that it was probably
more of a miracle that they found Voyager. "I was under the
assumption that you were bordering the outer rim of the Beta Quadrant at
the edge of our galaxy."
"Sort of," Axum conceded. "We were
actually hovering between the Beta Quadrant and fluidic space so I
wasn't sure of our exact location. Suffice it to say, we were not as far
out as I first thought and I can't tell you how glad I am that we
weren't on the outer edge, away from civilization. It's a welcome
surprise to run into allies instead of enemies for a change."
"I can certainly appreciate that."
Axum chuckled slightly. "You can imagine my
surprise when we saw a Federation vessel nearby. Now we have a traveling
companion while we search for a home planet--" Axum paused when he
saw mild surprise in the Captain’s expression, wondering if he had
assumed too much. “That is… of course, if you don't mind Captain? I
don’t mean to be presumptuous."
Janeway smiled diplomatically. "Not at all. I
don't have a problem with it. There is security in numbers."
"Thank you, but it might not be for long. We’re
looking for a home here.”
"You plan to colonize here, in the Beta
Quadrant?"
"We would like to. I don't expect to be
welcome at any inhabited planets and we certainly do not want to return
to the Borg infested Delta Quadrant, despite how many uninhabited
M-class planets reside there. Therefore, our only option is to search
for an uninhabited planet here. It might not be possible, but we need to
try because our ship isn't in the greatest condition after all the
battles it has been through."
Janeway understood their predicament. "Is
there any way we can assist you?"
"If I may impose upon your hospitality, we
could use some assistance with repairs and whatever medical supplies you
can spare. Ever since the civil war, we haven't been quite up to par. We
have no real medical bay, cramped sparse quarters and makeshift
replicators, which barely meet our needs. We’ve even lost people over
the last year to implant rejection. We do have a few doctors among us,
but only rudimentary Borg tools to work with and with the lack of
sanitary conditions it’s nearly impossible to perform complicated
surgery. So whatever medical assistance you can give us would be greatly
appreciated Captain."
"I'd like to help and you're welcome to
travel with us as long as you like, but I do have one request.”
Axum nodded his acceptance with curiosity.
“If you don't mind, I'd like our Doctor to
verify the status of your… individuality."
"Of course," he more than understood her
concerns.
"As soon as our EMH is finished examining
both of you, I'll send him with a medical team over to your ship to
check on your people and I’ll inform my Chief of Engineer to take a
team with her to check on your vessel’s status."
"I can’t thank you enough for all the
assistance you’ve given us, Captain."
"Don't mention it," she stood motioning
to the door. "we better get started. There's a lot to be
done."
Axum obliged, heading for the door but suddenly,
he stopped and turned to Janeway. "There was one other thing I
wanted to ask you, Captain.” There was a short pause, by the young
alien suggesting he was hesitant to continue. “Do you think we would
be welcome on your planet Earth?"
"Your ship will bring back a lot of unwanted
memories." Chakotay interjected with a cool tone.
Janeway pierced her first Officer with steel in
her eyes before replying. “There is still a lot of emotional residue
over our losses at Wolf 359, so I honestly can't say what kind of a
reception you would receive.” She hated to admit it, but there was
still a lot of fear and resentment towards the Borg.
"And what about Annika?" Axum inquired.
"Wouldn’t that apply to her as well?"
"No it wouldn’t," Janeway replied
curtly.
"Correct me if I’m wrong,” Axum pointed
out. “but because of her visibly remaining implants, she will be
perceived as more Borg than I am." When he saw Annika for the first
time through the view screen, he immediately noticed the facial
implants; a crescent shaped metallic piece of Borg circuitry above her
left eye and a spider shaped implant in front of her right ear. Then
there was the left hand, which was fully covered with a Borg mesh from
the wrist to the fingertips and he knew there would be more under her
biosuit. Although it didn’t change how beautifully she was to him, she
was clearly still part Borg.
Janeway had noticed that Axum appeared to be
outwardly devoid of implants, so visually speaking he was right, but she
would not accept his words.
"None of us would be alive if not for Seven.
She is a vital member of my crew and has been for over four
years." The Captain exerted her words with firmness in her tone.
"So I won't allow that prejudice to affect her or what she's done
for us regardless of what she was and..." Janeway inhaled.
"I'd do the same for you if you accompanied us all the way
to Earth."
"I meant no disrespect Captain." He
certainly did not want to insult Captain Janeway. It was quite obvious
that she cared for Annika and her safety, almost overly protective it
seemed.
"Shall we proceed to your sickbay?" Axum
offered lightly.
Annika was lucky to meet up with such a kind and
compassionate people. He was very grateful.
*****
"You have the bridge Commander." Janeway
announced, walking to the turbo lift,
Seven stepped in front of Janeway. "Captain,
may I join you?"
Janeway eyed the younger woman trying to ascertain
her emotional state, yet found nothing in the bland expression.
"Of course Seven," The Captain turned to
Tuvok. "You go first. We'll meet you in Sickbay."
Tuvok nodded and joined the other security guard,
Axum and Laura in the turbo lift.
As Janeway waited for the next lift, she could see
out of the corner of her eye Chakotay's penetrating gaze upon Seven.
A minute later, they found themselves in the turbo
lift quietly speeding towards their destination. As awkward as this was
for Janeway, she was extremely curious as to the young woman's feelings
regarding their new arrival.
"How do you feel about Axum’s
arrival?" She asked tactfully.
"I am uncertain.” Seven remarked. “However,
I plan to use this opportunity to explore my past relationship with him.”
"What about Chakotay?" Janeway asked
stiffly.
Seven heard the change in tone and glanced at her
Captain. "Are you concerned I will hurt his feelings?"
Janeway sighed. In her selfishness, it really
wasn't his feelings she had in mind, but realistically, she didn't want
to see him get hurt either. She had already seen his jealousy up close.
"Perhaps," She allowed.
"Captain, although I am new to human
courtship rituals, I am familiar with fidelity. I would not--"
"Seven,” Janeway put her hand up. “you
don’t need to explain that to me. I don't need to know the
details of your personal life." She certainly did NOT need to hear
about Seven’s sex life with Chakotay. "What you choose to do with…
Chakotay,” or anyone else for that matter, “is really none of
my business."
Clearly noticing her Captain's vocal adjustment,
Seven became befuddled as to why. She was only trying to explain that
she would not betray Chakotay's trust as long as she was courting him.
After several seconds Seven fathomed that perhaps, Janeway had
misunderstood since she had mentioned personal life and referred to
intimacy.
"I was not referring to copulation."
Seven divulged, continuing to study her Captain’s mannerisms.
"Ah, my mistake," Janeway corrected
lightly. Exiting the turbo lift briskly onto Deck 5, she purposely
walked ahead of Seven, chastising herself all the while for failing to
remain impartial. She had made an erroneous assumption.
The rest of the trip to sickbay was quiet as Seven
contemplated her Captain's recent behavior.
*****
Janeway did not plan to stay long in sickbay. She
was only there to assess the potential threat of her recent guests to
her ship. Once she was convinced there was none, she would leave.
In the meantime, she had to endure the way he
looked at Seven. Janeway stood quietly to the side catching his
lascivious look more than once towards her charge. Axum kept his eyes on
Seven practically the whole time the Doctor scanned him and his obvious
perusal of Seven's body already soured Janeway's already precarious
mood.
Seven stared at the handsome alien intently,
trying to assess how she felt about him. Ideally, Axum would have been
the logical choice as a mate considering her past with him, but for some
reason, Seven could not establish, could not find the intense feelings
she once had for the young alien from before she was severed from the
Collective by Captain Janeway.
And now there was Chakotay.
Janeway witnessed the intensity in Seven’s
bright blue eyes, the deep stare, the increased respiration and rising
chest; all visible evidence that she was affected by Axum’s presence.
Seven obviously had feelings for him making Janeway wonder if the young
woman could resist the temptation in light of her words of loyalty
towards Chakotay.
With nothing better to do, Janeway's mind drifted
in absent speculation. Had Seven progressed far enough, to the stage
of understanding what it meant to fall in love? It was a wondrous
thing to be able to love someone and have that love returned. As if I
know? She thought ruefully, forcing her gaze upon Seven. The blonde
was simply gorgeous; having a natural beauty that the young woman was
completely unaware of, her ignorance borne out of years of conditioning
by the Borg. In a sense, Seven herself was just reborn into a completely
new individual just over four years ago. During that time, she had
adapted to the human condition quite adequately. Although it was
inevitable that Seven would become fully human someday, part of Janeway
hoped she would never quite lose the pure innocence that she exuberated.
Unable to tear herself away from the sight, Janeway held her gaze, her
eyes softening. In her biased opinion, there was nothing about Seven
that didn’t scream of passion. She just needed to be brought out of
her shell. In Kathryn's mind, Seven would be the epitaph of what a lover
should be; passionate and loving; but in her own way, when the
time was right and with the right person, who could meet her unique
needs.
I will not be the one.
Kathryn couldn't stop the stray thought from
entering her mind causing a sharp throb to pierce her aching heart.
Momentarily overwhelmed at such a prospect, Janeway took in deep breaths
struggling to keep her command mask firmly in place.
"I detect no collective conscious here
Captain. They're both healthy.”
The EMH’s words broke her thoughts, mercifully.
"Um, thank you doctor. When you're finished here I want you to go
over to the Borg ship. They have some individuals suffering from implant
rejection. Take all the time and personnel you need."
"Of course Captain," the doctor
responded avidly being called to duty.
"Keep me informed of your progress."
"Understood."
The Captain excused herself from Seven and her
guests, prompting Tuvok to accompany her out of sickbay.
Once outside, she gave her Chief of Security
specific orders. “Tuvok, in case the doctor needs to bring patients
from the Borg sphere back to Voyager, I don’t want anyone here without
a security escort.”
“Of course Captain, however, with regards to
Seven of Nine,” Tuvok paused ruminating. “I believe she may want
some personal time with Axum.”
Janeway’s eyebrows flinched.
“For reconciliation purposes.” He elaborated.
“You are aware of Seven’s history with Axum?”
She asked, not giving him enough credit. Obviously, Tuvok was very
perceptive despite being a Vulcan.
“Yes, she has asked my advice on the subject
more than once,” he clarified.
The Captain’s jaw tightened. She didn’t know
Tuvok had Seven’s council. The blonde never mentioned Axum in any of
their conversations, not since that day in sickbay, when Kathryn was
recovering from her partial assimilation almost a year and half ago.
How long had that been going on? What else does
she talk about with him that she doesn’t discuss with me? Doesn’t
Seven feel comfortable enough with me to talk about anything that is
bothering her?
“Captain?” Tuvok noticed the inner
contemplation.
“Very well,” she reneged, “as long as she
understands, that no one is to be alone in any sensitive areas. I’ll
be on the bridge.”
The Vulcan nodded, watching her departure with
intrigue before she disappeared inside the turbo lift at the end of the
hallway.
*****
"Would you mind if I talked with Annika...
alone?" Axum asked the security guard as they arrived in Cargo Bay
Two. The security guard seemed reluctant to leave. His orders from Tuvok
were specific. Turning toward Seven of Nine, he verbalized his concerns.
“You understand that he cannot be unsupervised at any time?”
"I will take full responsibility." Seven
informed him.
"I'll be right outside." He reminded
her.
After the double door closed on the departing
guard, Axum hugged her. "It's good to see you again Annika."
He engulfed her within his long arms, squeezing her body firmly against
his.
"Axum," she responded uncertain whether
to reciprocate or not. The Borg children who had left Voyager were the
only ones to ever hug her in a full embrace. Seven had never instigated
the action. Even the Captain who touched her frequently on the hand, the
elbow or a shoulder never hugged her and Seven momentarily wondered why
not.
Sensing tenseness in her body, he pulled back.
"This action makes you nervous?"
"I am unaccustomed to it."
He accepted that with ease. There were bound to be
awkward moments while they were getting to know one another again.
"So how have you been?" He asked awkwardly.
"I am functioning within acceptable
parameters." She stated, trying to hide the nervousness she felt.
Axum cringed at her choice of words. "Why do
you speak like them, Annika? You're not Borg anymore."
Immediately, Seven took offense. "I have been
Borg for over 18 years of my life, how else am I supposed to
speak?"
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it that way. It’s
just that… in Unimatrix Zero you were so different, you was just
Annika… no implants, no Borg mannerisms. That’s the way I remember
you."
The name brought back memories of a life that was
long gone and the blonde did not like being reminded of it. "You
will address me as Seven."
Her not so subtle request shocked him. "You
don't use your birth name?"
"No."
"Why?"
"Annika Hansen was assimilated at six years
of age. She no longer exists. I, Seven of Nine, is what has become of
that girl. Not quite human, but not quite Borg either. Therefore, I
prefer Seven."
"You’ve changed." He commented
absently.
"Did you expect me to become fully human, in
the short time I have been severed from the Collective?" Seven
asked testily.
"No, of course not." Axum said
apologetically. "I realize you’ll need time to adjust… It’s
just that I fell in love with you while in Unimatrix Zero.”
The emotion packed statement startled Seven,
forcing her into a defensive mode. "That woman you fell in love
with only existed in Unimatrix Zero." She did not intend to be
unkind, but the sudden declaration of love caught her completely off
guard.
"YOU ARE the woman I fell in love with! What
does it matter that it happened within our minds." Axum affirmed.
“The only question that remains now is whether or not you will give us
another chance."
Abashed, Seven responded honestly. "I do not
know if I can." She thought of her current affiliation with the
Commander.
"Why are you so reluctant? You do remember
us, right?" Axum asked with trepidation. “What we had?”
"I can recall all of the events from
Unimatrix Zero.” Seven responded hesitantly.
"Events?" Axum's heart started to throb
in his chest. "but do you remember the intimacy we shared? Our
mutual feelings for each other?”
For Seven, the emotion tied to those ‘intimacies’
was gone, almost like a long dream with the memories fading away as time
passed.
“My life is complicated right now."
“We were lovers, you know.” Axum declared.
“I am aware of that, but I cannot just resume
that life… I--” she stopped the instant she felt a warm, moist
pressure on the back of her hand.
He had carefully reached down and upon taking her
hand brought it up to his lips kissing the back of it gently. “I’ve
pictured seeing your face in my mind for the past year, imagined
touching the softness of your skin.” He ran the back of his left hand
carefully down her cheek. “In my dreams, I stare into the bright
blueness of your eyes as I kiss you.”
Seven drew in a quick breath, not expecting to be
affected by the gesture.
“Axum--” Seven’s voice cracked slightly.
A fingertip went to her lips to silence her
gently. “Shhh, I won’t hurt you. I promise.”
He drew closer to her, felt her shudder at his
proximity, but when she didn't force him away, he grew even bolder.
Moving in slowly, he touched her lips delicately with his own. The light
kiss rekindled his memories and awakened his body’s more primal
functions, making him feel like he was truly home again. Parting his
mouth briefly to take in a full breath, Axum covered her mouth again,
this time pressing more firmly against her stout lips.
Seven was astounded at how intimate Axum was being
and almost pushed him away, but as the sensations increased, spreading
throughout her entire body, she became interested in the physiological
manifestations that were occurring. Therefore, wanting to experience
more of this type of intimacy in order to study her reactions later, she
did not stop him.
Feeling Seven’s stiffness waver, he pressed
further into the contact. Delicately coaxing her lips apart, Axum
slipped his tongue into her mouth to fiddle around with her wet, soft
muscle.
He could hardly believe reality, but this was the
first time he was kissing Annika in the flesh. Finally… the contact
was real and notably more intense that he remembered.
“Hmm...” He mumbled, as his rampaging blood
rushed through his veins and loins alike. The intimate flesh of her
mouth was so soft and pliable, edging him to push for more, but he knew
he had to control his urges. Although he didn't want it to end as he
touched her tongue delicately, enjoying the succulent taste of her fresh
sweetness, he gave his word to be patient and would abide by it.
She was worth the wait.
Seven hadn't even realized she had been
participating eagerly until Axum softened the contact. By the time he
broke away from her now clammy mouth, the blonde looked flushed and
wanting.
"There is no rush, Annika." He said
quietly, before leaving her alone with her confused thoughts.
The touching of lips had produced tingles in her
nerve endings that she had not experienced with Chakotay. Breathing
deeply, Seven knew she had to analyze what this meant… carefully.
*****
If I program stormy skies,
Will it wash away the tears in my
eyes?
Or will only heart ache remain?
Never to be washed away
It didn't have to be this way.
Captain Kathryn Janeway looked up at the grey
cloud filled sky as rain droplets began to pelt her face. Beads of water
hit her skin forcing her eyes to blink, which successfully covered the
tears that had recently formed there, tears that she couldn't hold back
any longer.
I could’ve prevented it… If only I acted
sooner.
Her uniform was getting soaked, but she didn't
care. In fact, Kathryn had purposely altered the weather to how she
felt.
Gloomy.
See what your command has cost you?
A loud thunderclap above made her flinch. The
clouds darkened and swirled about in chaotic patterns while releasing
the moisture held within. It started to pour even harder.
I have no one to blame but myself. She
castigated herself. I’m such a fool!!
Janeway enfolded her arms around her torso at the
chill that was setting into her bones. Hearing a noise of someone coming
from behind her, Kathryn ignored it preferring to numbly stare into the
distance.
"Kathryn?" She heard a voice call out.
It was her mother. "What are you doing standing out here in the
rain?!"
Her mother came out taking her daughter by the arm
to coax her inside the house where it was dry and warm.
"You'll catch pneumonia if you stay out
here!" Her mother was surprised to find her oldest daughter
standing in the rain while staring at the rapidly darkening sky.
"I'm fine," Janeway responded in a
quiet, somber voice. "I just need to think some things
through."
The response seemed reasonable, but the older
Janeway was more worried by the despondency she heard in the tone.
"I'm sure you do sweetheart, but not out
here. You can do that where it's warm." Gretchen said leading her
now soaked daughter into the house.
As soon as Gretchen got Kathryn inside, she
motioned to her younger daughter, who was lazily draped over a couch
reading an art book. "Phoebe could you get us a towel please?"
Grumbling to herself, Phoebe extricated her body
from the warm spot she had made on the couch and crept upstairs to
retrieve a towel for her wet sibling.
Gretchen coaxed Kathryn passed the living room and
into the kitchen before sitting her down in a chair near the dining
table. She removed the wet red command jacket without the slightest
objection.
"Let me make you some coffee dear and you can
tell me what's bothering you."
Janeway looked up at her mother for the first time
during the simulation. If only she could truly be home. She had really
missed her mother and even her annoying sister too.
Phoebe finally came down the stairs and handed her
sister a large towel.
"Thanks," Janeway offered to an upraised
eyebrow, which she promptly ignored as she dried herself off.
Meanwhile, Gretchen put some water in a pot and
turned the electric stove on.
Janeway attempted to make the program as accurate
as she could when she initially designed it, adding all the
traditionalistic things that her family had. Then whenever she needed to
forget about Voyager, or being Captain for awhile she came here.
Currently, she needed to mourn the loss of Seven of Nine and get the
young woman out of her system. This was as good a way to do it as any.
"You don't look so good sis? Everything all
right with Starfleet?" Phoebe pulled out a chair to join her
sister.
"Everything is fine with Starfleet."
Janeway stated, noting ironically that she had no idea how things were
with Starfleet. They only had contact once a month via a subspace link
made possible by the Midas array, but she knew the answer would do in a
pinch.
The silence grew and Phoebe started tapping the
table with her fingers as the minutes passed. Finally, once the coffee
was done, Gretchen poured Kathryn a hot cup of her favorite beverage and
joined them at the table.
It wasn’t long before Janeway noticed that they
were both avidly staring at her, as if studying her closely.
Kathryn quickly became annoyed. "What?"
She finally spoke up with irritation in her voice.
Phoebe snickered.
Gretchen frowned, "Don’t you take that tone
with me." she warned.
"Mother, I don't want to talk about it."
"Then why did you come here?" Her mother
asked. "It’s mid afternoon. You're usually working at this time
so I know something's wrong or you wouldn’t be here."
Janeway became angry and momentarily forgot they
were holograms. Even if they were exact representations of her family to
within 98.5 percent accuracy, she needed their understanding right now,
not a lecture.
"Do I need an excuse to visit my
family?!" Feeling an unhealthy amount of anger and grief from her
problems, Kathryn realized it was unfair to treat them like this,
holograms or not. In the end, they could do nothing for her except offer
solace and she wasn't sure that would be enough.
"I’m sorry, maybe this isn't such a good
idea." Janeway set down her coffee, regretting not being able to
take it with her. It tasted good even though it was only holographic
coffee.
She started to stand up, but her mother put a hand
on her forearm. "Kathryn… please."
It wasn't the action that made Janeway stop, it
was the compassionate voice and the deep blue eyes that were so similar
to hers filled with understanding that made her pause.
Her mother looked at her sympathetically knowing
that whatever was disturbing her daughter was taking a significant
emotional toll on her normally in control child.
"You're right. We are your family and you can
visit us anytime. You don’t need a reason or an excuse. Please stay.
You can sit undisturbed in the living room. We can put the fireplace on
if you like." Not waiting for Kathryn to reply, she motioned her
hand towards the other room. "Phoebe, please light the fire."
The younger sibling did so without complaining
this time apparently knowing the situation with her older sister's
distress was slightly more serious than normal.
"Thank you mother," Janeway remarked
quietly then took her coffee and went to sit on the couch near the
fireplace.
Fifteen minutes passed by with Kathryn left to her
own morbid thoughts. Her mother was doing chores in the kitchen while
Phoebe sat in her reclining chair reading the same book as before.
The silence soon became unbearable. All she could
think about was Seven. Kathryn closed her eyes and leaned back on the
couch trying to get more comfortable than she felt.
How was she going to get these feelings under
control?
She was curious if Chakotay felt as she did about
Seven, if he was in love with her or not, after all, she witnessed his
jealousy up close. If he did love Seven, it would be difficult seeing
Axum again knowing that she had a romantic history with him, a past he
might not be able to compete with. Kathryn knew exactly how that felt.
Yet in all honesty, deep down inside, she didn't
expect Seven and Chakotay's courtship to last long. It could have been
her own feelings muddling her perception too and she felt guilty for
thinking that way about her friends, but she truly didn't feel the
attraction was there to make a long term commitment last.
On the other hand, she and Seven had chemistry. It
was obvious. As far as mutual attraction, she was unsure about that.
Janeway knew how she felt, but Seven's true feelings towards her, were a
complete mystery. Kathryn had no idea if Seven felt anything for her
beyond friendship.
Axum, on the other hand, clearly loved Seven and
anyone looking could see the attraction between them. Seven might not be
aware of it, but it was there.
They have a history together... An intimate one. Janeway
sighed trying to keep the moisture from forming in her eyes.
Unimatrix Zero, was a dream world that Seven had
been apart of while she was a Borg drone. A place all drones who had the
recessive gene visited while they regenerated. Six years was a long time
to be a couple in any environment, real or imagined. No doubt they had
made love there as well.
Did Seven remember all that? What did she feel if
she did? Was she still in love with him?
"Like I'm in love with you?" Janeway let
slip out in a hushed whisper.
Kathryn didn't know her mother had been watching
her keenly from the archway between the kitchen and the living room. The
words hovered in the silent air before the other two women realized what
had been said.
"Huh?!" Phoebe exclaimed almost dropping
her book.
"Oh dear," Gretchen exclaimed. "No
wonder you're so overwrought. Does this person know how you feel?"
Opening her eyes, Janeway sighed and shook her
head negatively, irritated with her carelessness, for she had not
intended for them to find out.
Phoebe contemplated this new information. Her
older sister usually went for what she wanted, so what would hold her
back from going after someone she truly loved? "Is it a member of
your crew?" She asked curiously.
"Yes,"
“Is that what is holding you back?” Phoebe
asked.
"No, that's not holding me back, not now.”
Janeway admitted softly.
“Then what is it sis?”
Janeway decided to come clean. “She has two men
currently courting her."
"I'm sorry," Gretchen didn’t know if
she heard her daughter correctly. "Did you say… she?"
Phoebe almost turned white. "It's Seven of
Nine isn't it?!"
Kathryn quickly turned her frowning face towards
her sister. "How could you possibly know that?!"
Her mother intervened. "Dear, you talk about
her all the time. It obvious you have a lot of affection towards her and
although I wouldn't have expected that much, I'm not entirely
surprised." Gretchen informed her as if it was common knowledge.
"What do you mean?"
"It is obvious that she means a lot to you by
the way you talk about her."
"Mom is right," Phoebe added. "Your
eyes light up and turn a deep ocean blue whenever you talk about her and
she seems to be the first person you mention when you tell us about your
Delta Quadrant adventures." She paused to snicker. "Need I go
on? Cause there's more... if you need convincing."
"No, I see your point." Kathryn slumped
in her chair, defeated.
"So what are you going to do about it?"
Gretchen inquired.
"Do?" The Captain took a sip of her
lukewarm coffee. "There's nothing I can do about it." She said
in supplication while looking into the black liquid.
"Why don't you let her make that
decision?" Phoebe offered.
"I can't do that to her." Janeway glared
at her sister. "She's got to be confused enough as it is. I need to
be her friend right now."
"Is it because you believe she can't handle
it, emotionally?" Phoebe asked, remembering the stories of Seven's
first date that turned out to be disastrous.
"I honestly don't know how she would react to
all of this, but I’m not going to add more chaos to her life right now
just because I’ve realized I’m in love with her."
"I know you want to do the honorable thing
here Kathryn, but that's going to be difficult with how you feel."
Her mother asserted. "How are you going to suppress that?"
"I can avoid her whenever possible. I just
won't spend as much personal time with her. I'll stop playing Velocity
with her… among other things."
"Kathryn!" Phoebe exclaimed. "You
wouldn't. She's your friend and you're gonna ditch her because she has
other suitor's. That's not fair to her or your friendship. It's not her
fault you fell in love with her?!"
"I know that!" Janeway rebuked raising
her voice, her hands trembled clutching tightly to her coffee cup.
"Shh, calm down.” Gretchen put her arm out
to lightly touch her elder daughter's hand. “It’s understandable
that you feel the need to avoid her, but you have to realize it's just a
defense mechanism. Withdrawing is not the answer. I know that you're
trying desperately to distance yourself from her hoping your emotions
will subside, but your heart won't let it go that easily and eventually
the young lady will know something is wrong and she will demand
an explanation."
Her mother was very wise, but that did not help
Janeway's trepidation. She took a final gulp of her now cold coffee.
"She'll wonder if she's done something wrong,
which she hasn't." Phoebe clarified.
"Are you sure, she has no idea of your
feelings?" Gretchen asked.
"Yes, I'm sure. I've never said
anything."
"You need to talk to her Kathryn," Her
mother stated clearly.
Kathryn resigned to the inevitable. "All
right. I'll try."
*****
It was evening, almost 18:00 hours when Janeway
entered Astrometrics, having no idea how she managed the courage to
actually go inside.
"Captain, may I be of assistance?" Seven
greeted, hearing the familiar footsteps.
"No I'm just checking up on you."
"For what purpose?" Seven looked
expectantly at her Captain as she came up along side.
Janeway’s nerves kicked in. "I just wanted
to see how you were doing."
"I am functioning… " Seven paused,
"I am fine." She corrected.
Janeway saw the slight hesitation. "Are you
sure? Because if you need to talk, I’ll listen." They both knew
what the Captain was referring to.
"It is not necessary Captain."
Janeway pursed her lips. "I know it's not
necessary, but if you're feeling confused talking about it could
help."
Seven pondered this. It was normal for her to keep
everything she felt deeply hidden, but the young woman conceded that she
could use some advice and she felt most comfortable talking to the
Captain. She didn't know why Janeway was the only one besides Tuvok that
she felt safe with, but she did. Seven trusted Janeway explicitly, yet
something still made her hesitate.
Will I appear inadequate if I speak of my personal
difficulties? After all, I am doing this for her, to please her. What if
she is… disappointed with my lack of progress?
Janeway saw the indecisiveness. "We're
friends Seven, despite my Captaincy." She meant it. "You can
tell me anything." Softening her gaze, she touched the young woman
lightly on the elbow.
Friends…. Seven
repeated. I am her friend. She will
understand.
"Thank you Captain. That means a great deal
to me. I have been feeling somewhat torn lately and I do not want any
one to get emotionally damaged, but I feel it is inevitable."
“Don’t worry about them, they’ll be fine.
Men are resilient and persistent, even when you don’t want them to be.”
Janeway smirked then continued in a more serious tone. “I think your
problem is fear Seven. You’re under the impression that if your first
relationship fails, all your relationships will fail, but that’s just
not true.”
“How can you be so certain?”
“I just know.”
Seven shook her head. “But how? I cannot
comprehend speculation, I need the facts Captain.”
“It’s more like intuition Seven. I just know.”
“Then explain it me,” Seven entreated. “Please.”
“All right,” It was time to test her star
pupil. “I happen to know for a fact that there are several people
onboard Voyager who would be very interested in having a romantic
relationship with you?”
Several? The
information was news to the blonde. "Several Captain?"
"Let’s just say I've heard rumors."
“Rumors are inaccurate.”
“Not this one.”
Seven perked up in disbelief. "I find that
difficult to believe."
“Well it’s true.” Kathryn asserted.
"You are telling me there are several
individuals on Voyager who are attracted to me, but I do not believe
that is plausible."
"Why not?"
"No one here has ever expressed any interest
in dating me."
"Chakotay is dating you," Janeway
corrected.
"Yes, but I had to take the initiative. I had
to ask him."
"That doesn't mean other people don’t want
to Seven. You have to consider that they might be nervous about
approaching you."
"Nervous?" Seven raised her implant brow
in concentration, before it dawned on her. "You mean because I am
Borg?"
"No, it's because you're an intelligent and
beautiful woman." Janeway kept her face as neutral as possible.
"And that… intimidates some people."
The blonde stood in quiet contemplation for
several seconds. "You believe I am… beautiful?"
"Yes, you are." Janeway stated casually.
“in my opinion.”
Although it kindled Seven's insides to be thought
of as beautiful by the Captain, Janeway was completely unaware of how
unsightly her hidden Borg implants truly were, therefore her perception
was inaccurate.
"I do not feel beautiful." Seven voiced,
her tone lacking its normal confidence.
Janeway softened her voice. "I'm not talking
just about external beauty Seven. I'm referring to internal beauty as
well. You are a beautiful person, whether you believe it or not. I know
everyone can't see it, but I can. I do." This was as much as
Kathryn felt she could reveal comfortably. She had to stop before she
went too far.
The young woman felt warm, surprised and quite
pleased with her Captain’s statement. Examining the Captain's
appearance made Seven wish she looked more like her. The auburn haired
woman was fully human, with a soft appealing skin complexion,
classically good looking facial features, a toned athletic build that
was aesthetically pleasing and what Seven liked most… a strong will to
match it.
"Thank You Captain.” The compliment made
Seven feel special and she wanted to reciprocate. “You are beautiful
as well.”
Startled by the words delivered so eloquently from
the former Borg, Janeway looked keenly at the woman. Their mutual gaze
held for 4.5 seconds, in which time a spiritual connection had been
made, but the affection in Seven’s eyes was almost too much for
Janeway and if she let it go on much longer, she’d be on her knees
confessing her love to the wondrous being that was Seven.
“Thank you,” she offered quietly turning away
to hide the affect it had on her. It was time to bring the focus back on
Seven's current problem. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to go off on a
tangent. You were saying something earlier?"
The Captain wishes to change the subject. My words
were inadequate and I have embarrassed her.
“Seven?”
The blonde found her equilibrium quickly.
"Yes, I was going to say how disconcerted and distracted I have
been lately. I find my efficiency is less than optimal."
"How so?" Janeway asked.
"You are no doubt aware that I have a past
with Axum; from Unimatrix Zero?"
"Yes, I remember. You had a relationship with
him while there."
"If you can call it that, it only occurred in
our minds, like a dream."
"Yet, but it was real to you," Janeway
amended lightly.
"Perhaps," Seven granted before
continuing. "but… today in the Cargo bay, Axum complicated
matters by admitting to being in love with me."
And he's not the only one! Focus! This is not
about you. "Does that make you
uncomfortable?”
"Yes."
"Because you've developed feelings for
Chakotay?" Janeway assumed.
"No," Seven stated clearly.