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Continued from page 1
Seven's Awakening
by Scar
Her lips would be warm
Her skin would be soft
Her touch would be tender
Underneath my fingertips
Day Four, Morning:
The male gently took the beautiful blonde
by the hand and led her to his bed. Carefully peeling off the biosuit,
he ran his hands down her perfect skin causing a deep reverberated moan
that he felt through the tips of his fingers. After thoroughly teasing
her into a higher state of arousal, he lowered her to the bed.
She trembled… waiting nervously, yet
wantonly…
Slowly, he hovered over her, placing an
arm on the left, then the right, settling comfortably on top of her,
then… reaching down he gently touched her thigh and instinctually she
spread her legs wide open for him. Moving his hard member into position,
he wiggled his buttocks and slipped his penis into her virginal world,
causing his beloved to cry out, unprepared she was for his girth.
Developing a slow rhythm within, he
touched her lips, slipping his wet tongue in-between them.
Enthusiastically, he rolled her over on the mattress placing his large
hands firmly on her hips. As he guided her undulations, the back end of
his rear end muscles tightened with the effort of each upward thrust.
Groaning out her pleasure, the woman
arched her back, jutting out her engorged breasts in the process. He
palmed them, enjoying their plump fullness. Leaning in, he covered the
hardened tips with his mouth, first tasting the left breast thoroughly
then sucking on the right mound until…
The pressure filled their loins to
bursting strength. The male encircled his arms around the woman
possessively and with hearts pounding, their genitals exploded in
release.
An animated grunt came from the man as he
cut loose planting his seed inside her. An enchanted cry came from the
woman as her spasming sex accepted it. Their Fluids mixed thoroughly
during the finishing movements.
Only… they didn’t stop.
…Their hips kept thrusting…
And thrusting…
Noooooo!!!
Waking in a film of sweat, Janeway gasped
out loud as the images of the dream seared her mind. Gasping for air,
she covered her mouth with her hands not wanting to wake up her sleeping
companion, who unlike her was still in a deep slumber.
Janeway sat up in bed, breathing deeply
as the sex stained sheets crumpled down in-between her legs, evidence of
her previous evening’s activities.
What will it take to forget her?! To move
on!?
The dream was so vivid… so awful, from
her perspective… and it wasn't Seven's fault. The young woman had the
right to be intimate with anyone she chose… had the right to give her
heart to whoever could capture it. No, this was completely Janeway’s
problem and getting over it was her battle alone… Only she was losing
the war.
Swallowing through a parched throat, she
ran her hand through her ruffled red hair contemplating how she got to
this point.
It all started the evening before…
Sitting relaxed on the living room sofa,
they had talked for hours. Janeway was content discussing the recent
adventures she had been through, until Jaffen asked her if she had a
significant other in her life. Although, she didn’t appreciate being
reminded of Seven, he had every right to ask. Even so, the truth served
no purpose so she lied and told him there was no one.
After that announcement, he looked at her
with intent, making his desire known in the form of a light kiss. Seeing
the intense desire for her in his eyes, yet wishing they belonged to
someone else set Kathryn’s ire to the boiling point. Her heart was
attempting a coup and she rebelled against the feelings that tried to
continually dominate her. Not being in total control was unacceptable
and it was this rebellious thinking that started her down a path against
her heart’s true desire. It was this pain, this non stop torment that
decided for her to take what was being offered.
Beyond fed up with herself, heartsick and
sexually frustrated, she kissed him back with the intention of
instigating a whole lot more. Taking the lead, she kissed him deeply and
after a bout of heavy petting between the two, Kathryn took his hand and
brought him into her bedroom.
Once there, she ravished an excited, but
astonished Jaffen, who could barely keep up with her sudden fervor.
Pushing him down onto the bed, she straddled him dominantly and after
struggling with his shirt, ripped it in the extrication process. Then
came the pants and with a quick unzip, she was shoving them down his
legs. Although she was rough, no protests came, so she avidly continued
having her way with him.
Their sexual joining wasn't slow or
tender, but she didn't want it to be nor did she require it. Passion and
emotion had been outlawed by her heart. Janeway simply needed good old
fashion sex, hard and fast until she got off.
So finally after reaching her first
climax in ages, she let her body surrender to the pleasure she had
denied herself for so long. Then as she came down off her natural high,
a visual of a nude blonde entered her mind in perfect clarity and
Kathryn became pissed off.
Do NOT think about whom you’re NOT
having sex with, dammit!! Stay in the moment!
Unfortunately, it didn’t work. She had
to have more of a distraction. “Come here!” She growled, demanding
more. Coupled with her tenacity and fervor, Jaffen easily brought her to
orgasm three more times before he had trouble keeping up. Kathryn
unknowingly pushed Jaffen to his manly limits in pursuit of her goal; to
find release and some respite from always thinking about her. And
it worked reasonably well until working them both to utter exhaustion
she had to stop. Thankfully, spent and sore from so much vigorous sex,
she fell soundly asleep in mere minutes.
Then morning came… along with regret
and guilt.
As she sat listlessly in bed, Janeway suddenly
realized how unfair she was being to him. Do
I even love him?
Although the physical aspect was
satisfying it was still sex without love, still only a desperate attempt
to quench the persistent voice inside her soul that burned for Seven of
Nine than any conscious love for the man sleeping next to her.
Shaking her head, Kathryn knew the truth. Not
like I do her! I’m committing an act of defiance against a woman
I haven’t even told I’m in love with?! Kathryn’s features
turned suddenly severe. Love is overrated anyways! She told
herself not wanting to care. So what if I’m
not in love with him, Kathryn Janeway of Quarran was. Why can’t that
be good enough?!
Either way, she had a function to attend
to after her shift and needed to clear her mind of any frivolous stray
thoughts. It was a momentous occasion that was a long time coming and
she had to be in high spirits when the time came.
With that, she got out of bed without
regards to the sleeping figure and headed to the ensuite to take a long
hot shower.
*****
Day Four, Afternoon:
A security guard escorted Axum to the
Astrometrics Lab, allowing him to enter alone since Seven of Nine was
present.
He found her studying a visual of Earth
on the giant forward view screen.
“It’s a beautiful planet.” He
commented.
“Personally, I find it unremarkable.”
Seven replied.
He came up next to her. "I take it
you don’t share in this crews' desire to return to Earth?" This
gave him the perfect opportunity for a discussion he initially didn’t
know how to bring up.
"That is correct. Even though my
parents lived there for a short time, I am not from Earth. I have simply
adapted to the needs of my current collective... " she paused.
"and Earth has always been their goal since they were first
stranded in the Delta Quadrant."
"I understand that, and… "
his face conveyed false concern. "I probably shouldn't say
anything, but when I was discussing traveling to Earth with your
Captain, she mentioned that because we are former Borg, we might
not be welcome there."
Seven frowned. "You must have
misinterpreted her." She refused to believe that Janeway would have
said such a thing.
"No, I didn't. She said because of
the incident at Wolf 359, that she couldn't guarantee some people
wouldn't still feel hatred towards the Borg. She implied that we might
not be treated very well and… remembering those events as WE
do, I have to agree with that assessment."
Seven was miffed at this, but knew it was
true. She knew how hard it was for the humans on Voyager to accept her.
Imagine billions having to adapt to her presence. "I suppose she
cannot guarantee your safety--."
"You mean our safety. You're
Borg as well."
Seven gave him an implausible look.
"Yes, but I am a member of this crew."
"That does not make you an
exception, Annika. Do you honestly think, they're going to treat you
differently just because you've help this crew survive a few skirmishes.
Regardless of what you've done for this crew… you ARE still
Borg and… " He looked upon her sympathetically.
"Unfortunately, you don't quite pass as completely human."
"I AM aware of my appearance."
Seven stated piqued at the implications. "The Doctor cannot remove
the remaining implants." It was a fact that could not be changed.
"I will always be Borg." Although not pleased with his
assessment, Seven definitely needed to ponder the possibilities. It was
true the crew didn't actually adore her and that she was tolerated
because her intellectual expertise made her valuable, but would they
defend her if needed? Against even Starfleet? Then one person's name
popped into her cortical node, whom she explicitly trusted.
"Captain Janeway accepts me as I
am." Seven stated proudly. “and I know she would defend me
against the Federation and Starfleet if necessary.”
"Is that what you want for your
future? Defending your right to be free? Don’t you see? It won’t
matter what anyone tells them. You’re still Borg and thus you will not
be accepted by the majority of humans on Earth."
Fear filled her eyes that she valiantly
tried to hide. "What other choice do I have?"
Axum received the response he was looking
for. Tilting her chin up with his index finger, he spoke to her in a
soothing voice. "You can always come with me."
Seven blinked. Are my auditory systems
functioning correctly? The impact of the suggestion shook her
equilibrium.
"You mean… leave Captain Janeway?!"
She blurted out.
Axum was surprised at the intensity of
Seven's response, but he had to allow for some close personal
attachments over the course of four years.
"And go where?" Seven inquired
strongly. “Have you found a planet here in the Beta Quadrant?”
Seeing the initial resistance in her
eyes, Axum laid his left hand over her right one in a show of comfort.
He had to prove that he could take Janeway’s place as a mentor, in
time.
"We want a home other than a Borg
ship. A lot of us want to raise families and I... I want you to come
with me Annika. Consider it a chance to grow and expand your knowledge.
You'll be with your own kind, people who understand exactly what you've
been through. There will be no pretenses. No reason to hide who or what
you are."
Seven stared profusely at him. It was
disturbing to even think about leaving the only people she had ever
known in her adult life, especially the one responsible for giving her
that life.
"I left Voyager once," She
stated quietly. "but the Captain risked her life to bring me back.
Captain Janeway needs me… my technological skills are
invaluable."
"Is that truly why? Or do you feel
you need your Captain’s support? I can tell you're close to her. She's
become like a mother to you."
Seven's head shot up. "No," she
returned decisively. The association seemed unsuitable and woefully
inadequate. “the Captain is my commanding officer and my
friend. She has assisted me in regaining my humanity and I would not be
who I am today without her guidance and her patience." Seven stated
with astounding clarity.
"I sense you've outgrown her
though."
Seven's upper lip twitched and her brow
crinkled in resistance. "I do not believe so."
"Can you really do what you want in
this environment? Is there any room for personal growth? You're so
gifted Annika, brighter than any of them, including your Captain. Your
intellectual talents are wasted here. All of us have to move on
sometimes, leaving familiar things behind in order to grow. We get
stagnant if we don't accept that change is inevitable."
"That does not mean that I have 'outgrown'
my Captain." Seven challenged him.
"You sound sure of that."
When Seven opened her mouth to interject,
he rose his hand up to forestall her statement. "Consider this
Annika.” He stated seriously. “As much as your Captain says she is
an explorer, she is and always will be a Starfleet Officer, part of a
military organization. As long as you remain here, you are subject to
their laws, their philosophies, their rules… And you know I'm not
lying to you because we've assimilated enough Starfleet Officers to
know. You have to think about just how ‘free’ your future
will be."
Not pleased, Seven met his eyes somewhat
pensively. “I have work to do. If you will excuse me, I am on
duty.”
Seeing the strong reaction, he relented
quickly. "It's nothing you have to decide now.” He called after
her. “We have plenty of time to discuss this further."
“Of course.” Seven stated.
*****
Hours later, Axum entered the Cargo bay
leaving the customary guard waiting outside. "Annika," he
greeted.
A slightly raised eyebrow was her only
response. Seven was not sure she liked being called by her given name,
but acknowledged that it was the appropriate custom for dating couples.
Still, she was slightly irritated with him.
"Is your… shift over?" He
asked with skepticism, wondering if their earlier discussion still
bothered her.
"Yes." She responded evenly,
shutting down her terminal. “It ended 53 minutes and 47 seconds ago.”
She informed him. “I was simply studying the database…” while
waiting for you. She left unsaid, but Seven was sure he was going to
make her late.
Axum met her gaze. “Listen, I wanted to
apologize about what I said earlier. I didn’t mean to come on so
strong. It’s just that… I care about you a lot and since I plan to
live on a planet instead of a ship, I thought I should ask you, to see
how you felt about it.” He looked away. “I mean there’s really no
sense you getting involved with me, if you won’t even entertain the
idea. It would be… “ He choked back the discomfort. “painful for
me to leave you now that I’ve found you.” He cleared his throat. “I
just wanted you to know that.”
Seven eyes became misty. He was a very
thoughtful individual. “Your apology is accepted and I will ponder
your words… later. Right now, there is a meeting in the Mess Hall in
approximately five minutes that I must attend," Seven sighed
lightly. "I believe the Captain will be disappointed if I do not,
but I would be grateful for an escort. Will you accompany me?"
Seven asked politely.
"It would be my honor." He
entwined his left arm inside her right one and escorted her out of the
Cargo Bay. In return, he received a guarded, but pleasant smile for his
efforts.
When they entered the Mess Hall, Axum
immediately noticed the formality of the meeting. A large oval table had
been placed in the center of the room filled with senior officers in
their dress uniforms.
The Captain sat at the head of the table
with Jaffen on her right, then Chakotay, B'Elanna, Tom and Harry. On the
opposite side was Tuvok and the Doctor along with two more empty seats,
making Seven suspicious that they had expected her to bring Axum.
To their right, Neelix was in his kitchen
meticulously preparing a full course meal for everyone. The flames, from
his burner were high as he worked to finish up.
"You sure they will not mind my
choice of clothing?" Axum whispered. "I really don't having
anything formal to wear."
"I always wear one of my biosuits to
these types of functions." Seven turned to him. "We are not in
Starfleet. They will not mind." She clarified in a subdued tone.
"I'll take your word for it."
He remarked quietly.
"Seven! Axum! Come on over and have
a seat." Janeway called out, spotting them. Kathryn witnessed their
arms entwined when they had entered. Forcefully, she told herself she
had Jaffen, and that her feelings for Seven didn't matter anymore, yet
it still affected her. She couldn't help but wonder what this display
meant for Seven and Chakotay's relationship, especially since he hadn't
said anything to her to the contrary.
Seven studied their faces as she
approached. Janeway's countenance appeared deceptively bright, as if
forced. Tuvok was his normal placid self, Tom and Harry were almost
jovial in their mirth, B'Elanna seemed content to watch them and Jaffen
appeared tired, but content to be there. When, her eyes met with
Chakotay's, she nodded to him politely, but he quickly looked away.
After Seven and Axum seated themselves,
Janeway spoke up. "Now that everyone is here, I'd like to explain
why we're gathered here so formally."
"Yes what is all this for?" Tom
asked curiously. "We're dying to know."
After a small grin in the pilot's
direction, Janeway continued in a serious tone. "It has come to my
attention… that someone has been negligent in their duties and I
intend to rectify that oversight today." She glanced at their
suddenly apprehensive faces, except for Chakotay, who was trying to hide
a smirk because he knew what this was about. Seven and Tuvok simply
arched their eyebrows questioningly.
"A member of my crew has put in long
hours with very little reward… has worked diligently at every task
assigned… has proven to be a reliable and outstanding officer despite
how… green he was when he first came to us…" She smiled widely
at Ensign Kim. "and he deserves to be rewarded for all the years of
his unwavering dedication."
Harry's eyes bulged. Tom snickered,
B'Elanna grinned.
"Ensign Harry Kim," she said
mockingly serious as she approached him. "I hereby promote you to
the rank of junior grade, Lieutenant. Congratulations."
He stood up nervously at full attention.
The Captain affixed the new pip to his collar.
Still in denial, Harry was astounded that this was
really happening. "Thank you ma'am." He replied nervously. I
actually got promoted!?
"It's not crunch time yet, Lt."
She teased using his new rank.
He laughed with her.
"Way to go, Harry." Tom slapped
him on the back.
In good spirits, they all sat down and
ate dinner while enjoying an easy banter. Afterwards, everyone broke
into small groups to chat.
Seven went to the counter to order one of
her nutritional supplements after Axum excused himself to join Tom and
B'Elanna who were currently teasing Harry about his promotion.
She hadn't eaten much of the meal served,
not feeling particularly indulgent to satiate her human appetite the way
her colleagues did, so she decided to order a nutritional supplement to
properly take care of her nutritional needs.
Receiving her drink, Seven went to
congratulate the young Asian man. She knew he would make an excellent
Lt. even if his behavior was predictable. On her way across the room
though, an odd sight caught her peripheral vision and she turned her
head to gaze upon the distraction.
What she saw would forever change her
perceptions.
Jaffen carefully took the Captain's hand
in his own and smiling brightly, kissed her fully on the lips... and as
if that was not bad enough, Janeway reciprocated enthusiastically, more
so than Seven thought was appropriate while in front of her crew.
The blonde knew something was seriously
wrong with her when supplement #35 slipped out of her hand and crashed
to the floor sending the cream colored liquid all over the plush carpet.
Staring at her metal encased hand
dumbfounded, she saw nothing visually wrong with the appendage.
Physically, she was warmer than usual, as she clenched and unclenched
her hand. She surmised that she was disoriented, and a sudden tightness
engulfed her chest making breathing more difficult. She was clearly
upset by what she saw, but why?!
Marveling at her strong reaction, Seven
reviewed the available data stored in her cortical node. She was under
the impression, having heard the rumor many times that the Captain
couldn't and wouldn't fraternize with members of her crew… nor did she
with passing aliens either. Yet it appeared that her theory had been
wrong much to Seven's current dismay. It was common knowledge that
Jaffen had asked to stay onboard permanently, but she did not realize
that the Captain had decided to renew her previous relationship with the
alien. Even so, Seven could not fathom why this would bother her so
much. The Captain had the right to date and court any individual of her
choosing. She had the right to mate. So why did Seven suddenly not like
the idea one bit?
A cascade of raw emotions fell upon her.
Anger coursed through her veins and unexplained feelings of betrayal.
Seven truly wanted to do harm to the individual that instigated these
chaotic feelings in her, despite being fully aware that it would be
grossly inappropriate.
Jaffen… Her eyes
narrowed. She knew the source of her disdain, but not the why. What
was happening to her?!
"Seven?" Neelix called out to
her from behind the counter. "Is something wrong?" He studied
her confused features and coming around the bend of the counter saw the
mess on the floor. Luckily, no one had seemed to notice the spill since
the carpet had muffled the sound of the falling glass.
"I dropped it," Seven declared
in a small voice.
"We all do eventually. Hold on while
I clean this all up and then I’ll get you another one."
Neelix went back in his kitchen to get a
towel, but when he came back out, Seven had apparently come to her
senses. "No," She stated in a mechanical voice. "That
will not be necessary. I have work to do." She hesitated before
leaving. "Thank you… for cleaning this up for me."
"Uh, sure no problem." He
contemplated why dropping a glass would upset her so much.
Fifteen minutes later, Axum hadn't even
realized that Seven had left the gathering until he started looking for
her. Asking around, a fuzzy alien named Neelix, told him she had left
earlier looking disturbed.
Axum looked around, wondering why she
would have felt that way. Jaffen was talking with the Captain. The
pilot, Tom was joking with Harry's friend, a polite, but shy young man
named Lt. Chapman, and Commander Chakotay was conversing animatedly with
a young female Ensign, but nothing was unusual or provocative about it.
However, if Seven still had feelings for
him, then perhaps this display would have bothered her.
Axum was coming to realize that his
Annika was a complicated naďve young woman who didn’t quite
understand what she wanted emotionally or what she felt internally and
as much as it disturbed him to think that she still harbored any
feelings for the Commander, he had to accept her infancy in regards to
intimate relationships. He had to acknowledge that it would take time
for her to forget him and move on.
Therefore, Axum decided to give Seven
some time to herself just in case she was upset with seeing her former
boyfriend with another woman. Besides it was late in the day and he
could always talk with her tomorrow.
He would just have to be patient, because
losing her was not an option.
*****
Seven headed back to Cargo Bay Two so
fast that she almost ran into Lt. Torres who was coming around the bend
of the corridor on deck 8.
"Whoa!" Torres exclaimed moving
out of the way just in time. "Where's the fire?" She joked.
"Excuse me, Lt." Seven remarked
coldly, continuing to briskly walk towards her destination.
Did I say something wrong? B'Elanna
did a double take, but she wasn’t fazed by the blonde’s attitude and
she needed the warp core data that Seven had accumulated, so Torres
promptly followed the blonde into the Cargo Bay.
Seven turned around abruptly. "Is
there a problem, Lt.?"
"No, I just wanted to know if you
had a chance to finish those computational analyses on the warp core
fluctuations, because I still can't figure out what's causing it."
"I have not finished them. I have
had a… difficult day."
"Sorry to hear that." B'Elanna
replied. She heard the gossip about the disagreement between Axum and
Chakotay, but she had no advice regarding it. Chakotay was her friend so
she was biased in not wanting him to get hurt.
But the blonde had seemed distracted
lately. The half-Klingon speculated that it must be difficult for the
inexperienced young woman to be dating for the first time, actually
taking part in a full-fledged relationship. Chakotay was a good choice
only B’Elanna wasn’t sure if he was the right match for Seven’s
strong personality.
Seven stared at Torres impatiently.
"Do you require my assistance with the project right now?"
Torres countered, annoyed. "No, I
just need whatever data you've uncovered."
"Very well, I will transfer whatever
I have to your station in Engineering." Seven went to her terminal
and starting keying in sequences.
"Did you find anything we can work
with?"
"No," came the only reply.
"Would you care to elaborate?"
"I found nothing of value Lt."
Seven answered truthfully. Of course, she had been so distracted lately,
she hadn’t done much research to find anything to begin with, but
Seven did not want to announce that.
Annoyed, Torres put a hand on her hip.
"Want to talk about what's bothering you?" B’Elanna couldn’t
pass up on the chance to get the inside info on the ice princess’
personal life, could she? Especially now that it was public knowledge
she was dating Chakotay? B’Elanna couldn’t help but wonder if
Chakotay had what it took to melt the ice queen.
"No."
"Trying to hide your emotions won't
solve anything." Torres continued, watching Seven's jaw tighten.
"I am not hiding," Seven
retorted sharply, keeping her eyes fixed on her calculations.
"You don't know how to handle it, do
you?" Torres stated bluntly, trying to get a reaction.
"Is there a point to this line of
questioning?" Seven remarked with irritation.
“Chakotay hasn’t been the same since
Axum’s arrival. He’s acting unsettled and although he personally
hasn’t said anything to me, I can tell when something is bothering
him.”
Seven cast arrogant eyes on the Klingon.
"It is none of your concern Lt."
“So what’s happened between you two?”
“It is nothing.”
Torres frowned. The Borg was being
intentionally cryptic. "He's my friend Seven and… " she
paused. "I don’t want to see either of you get hurt."
"I appreciate your concern, but it
is not warranted."
B'Elanna became impatient. "Will you
stop hiding, just once! I'm trying to help you Seven, but if you don't
want it fine." She briskly walked to the exit. "I'll be in
Engineering, transfer all the data there and I'll finish the
analysis. One way or another we've got to find out what is causing
this!"
Quickly, Seven moved from around her
console. "Lt. Torres!" She stood unsure, her hands clenched
tightly behind her back, her posture rigid yet… fear was clearly
etched on her facial features.
This level of trepidation is unusual.
Sensing a significant change in the Borg, Torres waited for her to
continue.
"I am no longer dating Chakotay."
Seven declared bashful.
"What happened?" B’Elanna
asked earnestly.
"I wanted to explore my past
relationship with Axum, but Chakotay did not… appreciate that."
"I wouldn't think so." Torres
folded her arms across her chest not pleased so far with the Borg. Yet,
seeing Seven so visibly disturbed made her keep her judgments to
herself.
"I am more confused now than ever
and I am afraid of interpreting all these new emotions. I am not sure I
even want to know what they mean."
"I can understand that, but if you
don’t, you'll never know what it means to love someone. Whether that's
Chakotay or your friend Axum." Torres commented trying to remain
neutral.
"I do not believe it is either one
of them." Seven’s stance shifted.
"Oh?" That bit of information
shocked B'Elanna.
"I had a strange reaction to one of
the crew being kissed by another individual and it made me… angry,
almost to the point of wanting to harm the instigator of the kiss. I
knew it was illogical to feel that way, yet I could not stop it."
Oh great! B'Elanna
thought. A jealous Borg? Who could possibly
make Seven jealous to the point of violence? This could be serious.
"Uh well, you probably have strong
feelings for this individual," Torres assumed. "You should
probably talk to the person… in private." Torres stated as a
matter of fact, not sure if she was giving good advice or not.
"It is too late. From the act I
witnessed, I firmly believe she is already engaged in a physical
relationship with him.” Seven’s hands clenched and
unclenched. The young woman was clearly distressed.
She?! Is Seven attracted to a woman?! “Um
maybe you misinterpreted things, Seven--”
"I have not! They obviously have a
mutually exclusive partnership that involves intimacy!" Seven
shouted vehemently making B’Elanna actually flinch back, something
Klingons’ rarely did.
Looking down at the floor, Seven tried to
calm the inner rage that tore at her. “What… disturbs me,”
embarrassed at her outburst, Seven continued in a quieter tone. “is
that I was under the assumption that she would not avail herself to
anyone under her command.” In her distress, the blonde was totally
oblivious to the fact that she gave away the identity of the person she
was infatuated with.
She?! Under her command?! Oh shit! She has to be
referring to the Captain and Jaffen! Oh how do I get myself into these
things?! Torres chastised herself.
With a stricken expression, Seven spoke
disdainfully. “It appears I was grossly mistaken."
Clearing her throat, Torres asked
delicately. “Are you certain you have romantic feelings for the
Captain?"
Seven looked up, abashed. "How did
you know I was referring to the Captain!?"
"You mentioned that she had been
alone and she couldn't date anyone under her command? It
was pretty obvious who you were talking about."
Seven sighed heavily.
“So explain these emotions you’re
referring to? Maybe I can help.” Maybe Torres could help if she
understood exactly what Seven was going through.
"I do not know how to describe all
the variety of emotions that have assaulted me within the last five
minutes, but the most prevalent emotion appears to be jealousy. I am
envious of Jaffen’s relationship with the Captain and I wish to…”
She tightened her mesh hand into a fist. “damage him because of it.”
“Just don’t act on that impulse.” B’Elanna
interjected knowing Seven had an impulsive side. A world of hurt was
heading Seven’s way if she couldn’t channel her jealousy into
something positive, especially since B’Elanna doubted Janeway could
return her feelings.
Poor Seven.
The blonde frowned. “I understand the
concept of jealousy Lt., the meaning of the word is clear but until now
I did not understand why anyone would choose to feel it. Now I realize
it does not give you a choice. It is illogical and yet… I am a victim
of it… and I do not know how to stop!” Seven exhaled, letting some
of the tension out with it. “I can only conclude that I must be in
love with Captain Janeway.”
"Uh, I don't mean to be rude Seven,
but jealousy is not necessarily a preclude to being in love.”
“I do not understand.” Seven’s nose
flared.
B’Elanna sighed. “Ok, tell me exactly
what happened that precipitated all this… from the beginning.”
From the kiss to the dropped glass, Seven
reiterated the entire incident in the Mess Hall from her unique
perspective. Torres listened thoughtfully, admitting that Seven most
likely had a serious crush on the Captain, probably had it for awhile
and didn’t even know it. The question that remained was why would it
take witnessing a kiss in person for her hidden emotions to finally
manifest themselves?
“Well,” the Engineer spoke up. “you
most likely have a crush on our illustrious Captain.”
“It is not a crush.” Seven replied
adamantly.
“I know, but from what you’re telling
me, she is already involved with Jaffen. And you already understand that
Janeway is the Captain of a Starship. She won’t date members of her
crew.”
“I am not a Starfleet Officer.” Seven
stated as if that made all the difference.
“You’re still under her command.”
“So is Jaffen! What is your point?”
This next part was going to hurt, but B’Elanna
had to tell Seven the truth. “I honestly don’t know if there is
anything you can do about it… I’m sorry Seven, but you might have to
live with it.”
Seven’s eyes went wide fury. "LIVE
WITH IT! That is your advice!!" She shouted.
Torres became unnerved at how distressed
Seven quickly became. "Calm down! Most crushes go away Seven. You
just have to be patient. I know it’s difficult--"
Seven refused her advice. “Lt. Torres,
I have not asked you for much, but I need your assistance in this.”
The former Borg pleaded. “This does not feel like just a
crush."
Torres scratched the cranial ridges on
her forehead feeling extremely skeptical about Seven’s chances with
Janeway. “Are you asking me what I think you are?!”
Seven grimaced. “I am not asking you to
help me seduce the Captain, but I must be able to interpret and
understand what these emotions mean to me and what I should do about
them.”
Torres shook her head. Am
I actually considering helping her?!
“I do not wish to remain in this
mentally chaotic state for my foreseeable future." Seven remarked
humorlessly. "Please…” Seven begged. “I must know if I am in
love with her!"
The wheels inside B'Elanna mind churned
in thought. "Okay, Let me discuss this with Tom… and I'll get
back to you as soon as I come up with a plan."
Seven hesitated. "A plan?"
"Yes, do you trust me Seven?"
Seven speculated that although they
weren't close friends, she did indeed trust Lt. Torres. "Yes, will
you contact me tomorrow?”
"Yes, I will get back to you… I
just need some time to think about it." She headed for the exit.
"Oh and don't forget to transfer those computations… maybe
tomorrow you can assist me with them in Engineering."
Seven complied, not appreciating her new
weakness for distraction, but at least now she had assistance. Maybe
Torres would be able to help her. The alternative was incomprehensible.
She had too much chaos in her mind as it was and she craved order.
Sweet order.
*****
Chakotay watched Axum with envious,
resentful eyes.
He lost track of how many times he had
ordered the computer to give him synthesized alcohol with all the
delirious effects included, but he wanted to be numb and he had the
command authority to do it.
He knew he shouldn't be feeling quite so
jealous, but…
The way she had treated him was so…
nonchalant as if she didn't care… as if his feelings didn't matter.
The audacity! She was the one who sought him out! And for what, just to
dump him once a long lost lover happened to come along!?
When Axum left the gathering with his assigned
security guard, he had been watching with cold eyes. Chakotay did not
appreciate Axum’s presence. What hold did
he have over Seven? What did he say to make her leave me so easily? He
probably lied to her, no doubt manipulated her against me.
Chakotay growled and against his better
judgment had he been sober, went in hot pursuit of the man who had
stolen his girlfriend.
At first, when Axum got into the turbo
lift at the end of the corridor, Chakotay was sure he was going to Deck
8 to see Seven, but he realized his mistake after he queried the
computer.
“The turbo lift has stopped on deck 4.”
Realizing the alien wasn't heading
towards Cargo Bay Two, but most likely to the Transporter room and back
to his own ship didn’t change the tattooed man’s mind. Determined,
Chakotay ordered a site to site transport and beamed into an adjoining
corridor to avoid being seen.
He watched Axum and Lt. Mulcahy, pass him
and after they disappeared into the Transporter Room, the Commander
promptly followed.
“Ensign,” Axum started speaking to
the transporter officer on duty as he stepped up onto the pad. “would
you please--”
Chakotay swiftly entered the room.
“--transport me to my vessel.” He
attempted to finish.
"Belay that," Chakotay
countered.
The Ensign’s hands froze.
"Is there a problem Commander?"
Lt. Mulcahy asked, confusion etched on his face.
"No, I'll handle it from here."
Chakotay replied. “You’re dismissed.”
The Lt. nodded obeying readily, even as
his mind was curious as to why the Commander was needed to handle a
simple transport. However, the young Ensign behind the terminal
hesitated not sure if the order applied to him. "That goes for you
to Ensign." Chakotay stated, his eyes glowing with impatience.
"Yes Sir!"
After the door slid closed, Chakotay
stood ridged, his stormy eyes focused on Axum.
The young alien sighed. He knew what this
was about.
"So what did you say to her,
huh?" The Commander’s tone was sarcastic and although this
confrontation surprised Axum, it wasn't entirely unexpected. He had
stolen the man's girlfriend and despite the fact that it was not Axum’s
fault, but in fact Seven’s decision, the man has a right to be angry.
Stepping off the dais, Axum purposely
appeared demure, resting his hands calmly at his sides. "You are
referring to Annika, I take it?"
Chakotay narrowed his eyes. She never let
him call her by her given name. Rather he didn't think she let
anyone onboard Voyager call her Annika!
"Of course, who else would I be
talking about?! Don't play naďve with me Mister. Admit it, you've
wanted her since the first day you stepped onboard this vessel! Don't
deny it!"
Axum met Chakotay’s intense gaze.
"I hid nothing from you. I have loved her for years and she lov-."
“So what did you tell her? Did you
promise her some fantasy of living happily ever after on some world here
in the Beta Quadrant!? In the middle of nowhere!?"
"I gave her choices, something to consider
for her future!" Axum glared back. “And if you truly loved
her, you would let her make her own decisions.” Which
is exactly what she did when she chose to be with me!
“You coerced her!" Chakotay spat.
Axum was not guilty of subterfuge. “I
assure you Commander, I did not have to resort to such measures because
it is obvious that Annika is still in love with me."
This goading was the last straw. “Liar!!”
Chakotay swung a right jab connecting with Axum's chin before moving in
with a left uppercut striking the younger alien in the gut. Axum doubled
over in pain falling to the carpeted floor.
As a rebel in the maquis, Chakotay had
been a respectable fighter and even drunk was a formidable opponent. The
inebriated first officer grabbed the alien by the collar of his shirt
and dragged him to his feet.
"I know your finding us was not a
coincidence! You came for her, didn't you?!"
"What if I did?" Axum raised
his chin up in defiance even as his cut lip trickled blood down onto his
uniform.
Chakotay slammed him into the far wall
and pulled his left fist back in preparation for another strike.
"Are you so in love with her
Commander," Axum stated carefully through a split lip. "that
you would kill for her? Is that your plan to win her back?"
Stunned at the concept of where his
actions were going gave the enraged Commander reason to pause. This was
not who he was, beating on a helpless alien over a woman; a woman who
admitted to not being in love with him.
Although he cared about Seven a great
deal, this confrontation was more about his pride, his honor as a man
than any real love he felt for her. Their relationship never really had
the chance to progress to anything more.
Regret filled his features. As angry as
Chakotay was, this was wrong. Releasing Axum, he turned and left without
another word.
*****
That night just before going to bed,
B'Elanna told Tom of the entire conversation she had with Seven earlier.
"You have got to be kidding
me?!" He exclaimed staring at his wife, who was propped up against
three pillows.
"No Tom," B'Elanna asserted.
"I'm not. Our resident Borg has the hots for the Captain."
Standing before B’Elanna in his boxer
shorts, he folded his arms across his chest. "So what did you tell
her?"
"That I would discuss it with you
and get back to her with a plan."
"A plan?! What exactly are we
supposed to plan, the seduction of Captain Janeway by a former Borg
drone? It's hopeless. Captain Janeway is in love with Jaffen. Haven't
you seen her lately? Ever since he asked to stay onboard, she seems
happier and I’m glad to see her enjoying life for a change."
That information didn't help B'Elanna's
case. "Do you really think she's that involved with him?"
Seven was adamant that Janeway was involved intimately with Jaffen, but
she hadn't believed it at the time. She simply assumed, it had been
Seven's jealousy talking and making erroneous assumptions.
“Don’t you remember? She was involved
with him before on Quarran when all of us had our memories
altered." He elaborated. "It's only been five months since we
left that planet, but I bet her feelings for Jaffen are just as
strong." Tom finally sat down on the bed.
“I do remember that,” Torres
protested. “but she’s not the same person anymore, maybe…”
Tom snickered.
“What?”
"You didn't see them in the Mess
Hall, did you?"
"No, after congratulating Harry, I
left to catch up with Seven. What was I supposed to see?" She asked
dubiously.
"She was flirting with him almost
the whole time. He even kissed her in front of everyone and she kissed
him back. You know the Captain likes to keep her personal life very
private, but she didn't even try to hide this."
"Why would she need to, she's human
like the rest of us."
"Yes, but she's the Captain and
because of that she doesn't show boat her relationships even when their
serious. I'm sorry B'Elanna, but Seven has nothing to offer Janeway."
Tom added lightly.
Torres frowned.
“Did you think Janeway would be
interested in a romantic relationship with Seven?” Tom questioned.
“I… ” Sitting up, Torres faltered.
“I’m just not sure.”
"Listen I know she's intelligent and
beautiful." He finished nervously when B'Elanna eyed him
suspiciously. "but she's still part Borg and who knows how many
more implants she has or where…" His face turned red, he couldn't
believe he thought that.
"Tom! That's not nice."
"My point is she will always be
Borg! Arrogant and overconfident with an annoying tendency to frequently
disagree with the Captain in public staff meetings. I just can’t
see them together B’Elanna… not that way."
Flopping back down on her pillows, Torres
put her hands on her head. "What am I going to do? I gave her my
word! I told her, I'd help her come up with a plan to understand her
emotions, to sort out her feelings." B'Elanna stated with
hopelessness. Her Klingon honor would take a serious blow if she didn't
keep her word.
Tom gently put a hand on her shoulder.
"Wait a minute!"
"What?!"
"That's what you promised?"
"Well, sort of. It was an implied
promise, but never the less, she expects me to help her. Why do you
ask?"
"Because we can help her
understand her feelings, I thought you promised her you'd get her a date
with the Captain… or more…"
"Tom!? I didn't promise her that,
but I think that’s what she wants. If Seven comes to believe without a
doubt that she is love with the Captain, life is going to get really
complicated for her on Voyager... especially if the Captain finds
out."
"I know, but that's not our
problem." He started to get dressed. “Besides it's probably just
infatuation… a passing crush.”
"Where do you think you are you
going?"
"Come on," He put on his
uniform then sat down to tug on his boots. "I have a plan. Get
dressed, you're coming with me."
"I just worked a 16 hour shift; both
on Voyager and that Borg sphere, on top having to be at the gathering in
the Mess Hall, so I’m kind of tired Tom."
He met her stare, with challenge in his
eyes. "Oh? I thought you made a promise. Don't Klingon's have to
keep their promises to retain their honor?"
She growled throwing the bed covers
aside, "Damn Borg!"
Tom smiled. His wife complained a lot,
but that didn't mean she didn't care.
After asking their neighbor, Nicoletti to
watch Miral for a few hours, they left their quarters in an attempt to
help an emotionally distraught ex-Borg.
*****
Day Five:
The next morning, Seven awoke promptly at
07:30 hours. “REGENERATION CYCLE COMPLETE,” The computer toned
monotonously signifying the end of her cycle.
Seven stepped off the platform of her
alcove, disturbed. Normally regeneration was extremely efficient in
replenishing her energy reserves, but the stability of her last cycle
was less than ideal.
Startling images of two people; a male
and a female being intimate passed through her mind and it did not
please her. Trying to discard the distasteful thoughts, Seven headed for
her terminal to make her usual log entry when she noticed a memo from
Lt. Torres.
Seven,
Meet Captain Janeway in the holodeck
during your lunch break at 12:00 hours. Tom and I made the program
so everything should be set. Don't be worried, we didn't tell her
anything about what you feel for her, we only mentioned you were
having trouble with the two men courting you and that you needed to
talk with her about it. Maybe this will help to assess your feelings
towards her, then we can discuss it later."
B'Elanna.
The young woman suddenly became nervous,
but had no time to contemplate it as the Cargo Bay doors opened to
reveal Axum and a security guard. As custom, the tan uniformed escort
waited outside.
"Annika."
"Yes?" She greeted him, closing
her memo before he came around to her side of the terminal.
Standing before his girl friend without a
single mark on his lip made Axum more that grateful, for the gift of the
medical supplies from Voyager. He certainly didn't want to explain to
Annika what had happened, he just wanted to let the matter go. And with
the way the situation had ended, he didn't think the Commander would be
bothering him again.
"You left the Mess Hall rather
quickly yesterday. Are you all right?"
Seven immediately wondered if he saw her
reaction to the Captain’s kiss. If he did, what am I going to tell
him?! How will I be able explain it to him when I cannot explain it to
myself!? Blatantly lying was not something Seven was accustomed to
yet she was not prepared to acknowledge anything else at this stage.
“I usually do not stay long at social
gatherings.”
This excuse convinced Axum that his
initial assessment was correct.
"You know it's going to take time to
get over Commander Chakotay. I wouldn't expect you to like seeing him
with another female so soon, but he has the right to move on." He
tried to say it delicately, but it only served to irritate Seven that
Axum would believe her jealous of him.
"Chakotay can date whom he likes. I
have no problem with that.” She retorted. “I simply do not enjoy
socializing for extended periods of time. It makes me
uncomfortable."
Axum figured she was in denial, but
decided not to press her on it. Eventually, he knew she would come
around and deal with it.
"Now if you will excuse me, I have
bridge duty." Seven was about to leave when he called out.
"Annika?"
"Yes," she responded
impatiently.
"We've found an M-class Planet about
20 light years from here."
"You found a planet? So soon?"
The news shocked her.
"Actually, we've been looking at it
for awhile, but our scans were inconclusive. Now that we're closer, we
can tell it looks very promising."
Seven lifted her implant. “That is good
news. I am… happy for you." She turned to leave, to resume her
duties.
Axum could only blink, stunned. "Annika!”
He shouted after her. “I want you to come with me! Don’t you
remember? We discussed this just the other day."
Seven faltered a moment. She
had just discovered a wealth of emotions involving Captain Janeway. How
could she leave now?!
He watched intently, seeing reluctance
crossed her face. “I realize our relationship is new and I’m asking
a lot of you on such short notice, but I know what I want.”
Reaching for her, his left hand lightly landed on her right shoulder.
"It has only been one day. I am
still considering it." She capitulated for his benefit, but in her
heart, she knew it to be a falsehood. She had no such intentions of
leaving Voyager now.
Axum had his doubts at the sincerity of
her words as he watched the love of his life leave the Cargo Bay. He
couldn’t fathom the complexity of the situation as he ruminated on
just how much of a hold the Commander had over her when it wasn’t
about him at all.
*****
Standing in front of the double doors to
Holodeck One at 11:55, Seven carefully checked the status of the
Holodeck grid.
During the morning hours of her shift,
they had passed through what was thought to be a relatively harmless
nebula until a large bolt of electrical energy decided to use Voyager's
outer hull as a lightening rod. The sudden influx of energy shorted out
all of the major systems on deck 8 for over an hour before power could
be restored and since this meeting was important to Seven, she decided
to make sure the power grid hadn’t suffered any serious damage so she
would not have to postpone her meeting with the Captain.
It was during her perusal of the system
that she noticed a program was already running. Seven checked the
computer finding the Captain already in attendance, so assuming she must
have checked the systems before entering, Seven curtailed her
examination and entered the holodeck.
Going through the double sliding doors,
Seven faltered not expecting the type of setting that greeted her.
Although, Seven had never been there, her assimilated memories estimated
the location to be Paris, France.
It was a small quiet café elegantly
decorated with small-carved wooden tables sporting fancy white
tablecloths. There were numerous couples engaged in subtle conversation.
On her left, one particular pair, she noted, were looking at each other
suggestively. Seven was intrigued with the display when she spotted the
Captain four tables down. Yet as Seven approached her stomach began to
flutter uneasily and despite wanting to spend quality time with the
Captain, Seven did not know what to expect, now that she was ‘aware’
what Janeway meant to her.
"Seven," Janeway greeted
warmly. "Please have a seat."
Seven nodded, complying readily.
"What do you think of this place,
Seven?"
"It is different from our usually
settings."
"Oh?" Janeway returned.
"Does it bother you?"
Glancing around, Seven noted a couple
leaning in for a kiss while another couple were smiling at each other
drinking wine and enjoying light conversation. "It appears to be
conducive to romantic intent." Seven looked at her quizzically.
"Actually, it’s a new program I
found in the database, but I think it’s quite relaxing. Don’t you
agree?”
Seven raised an eyebrow.
Looking at Seven’s surprised features,
Janeway grinned. Raising a glass of wine before her, she indicated to
the young woman to do the same.
The blonde eyed it questioningly.
"Don't worry, its holographic
wine."
Seven was relieved to hear that, since
alcohol impaired her optical implant. Picking up the drink, she tapped
Janeway's wineglass lightly having researched the custom.
"To romance," Janeway commented
in a customary toast. “may your journey in finding love be as fruitful
as the end result.”
Confounded, Seven merely nodded
acceptance meeting the Captain's intense blue eyes again. Gingerly, the
young woman sipped the wine.
"Do you like it?" Janeway
inquired.
"It has a sweet tartness to it, but
I believe I like it."
"It's a very old wine, but the
longer it's aged the better it tastes." Janeway twirled the wine in
her glass looking down at the liquid with a crooked grin. "So did
you want to discuss anything in particular?"
"What did B'Elanna say to you?"
Seven inquired curiously.
"She informed me you were having
some… difficulties with your current situation."
Seven truly did not want to discuss them,
but the Captain’s time was not infinite and this opportunity might not
come again for awhile.
"I feel it has become very
complicated." She informed her Captain.
“How so?”
“I have apparently developed feelings
for someone else.”
“Someone else?” Kathryn repeated
surprised. “You mean other than Chakotay or Axum?”
“Yes,” She responded timidly.
“Well that’s nothing to be
embarrassed about Seven. You’ve only been dating for a month, so it’s
to be expected that you won’t be in tune with your emotions just yet.
I wouldn’t worry too much about it, they will come in time. Trust me,
all this will make sense, eventually."
"I am not so certain." Seven
stated resigned.
"Tell me what’s bothering you. You
know I'll help if I can."
"I appreciate that Captain, but I do
not think that you will be able to assist me in this." With sad
eyes, Seven took a small sip of her wine. “I do not know how to inform
the person or if I should.”
“You haven’t told him?”
Seven noted the gender error, but chose
not correct her Captain. "No,”
“Why not, are you afraid he won’t
reciprocate?”
Seven sighed. “Yes, but that is only
part of the issue. This person has many responsibilities and might not
be available, even if reciprocation was possible.” The blonde found
genderless neutral sentences rather challenging.
“Duty is always important, but if he is
attracted to you, he’ll make the time. Don’t assume this man is
unavailable or unattainable until you’ve asked. You have a lot going
for you Seven, so don’t sell yourself short.”
The former Borg couldn’t take the
inaccuracy any longer, “She, Captain. The individual I am
interested in is female.”
“Ah, I see.”
Seven witnessed the high arch of the
auburn eyebrow, noted a sharp increase in respiration and a significant
increase of facial flushing, but those reactions could simply be from
surprise. Silently, she hoped her mentor wasn’t disappointed in her.
“So does the prospect of dating a woman
frighten you more so than dating a man would?”
“I do not believe so.” It
is more so your rank, availability and willingness that concerns me, not
the fact that you are a woman.
“Are you sure? After all there are more
heterosexual couples onboard Voyager than homosexual couples and you don’t
have a lot of experience with either, so I would understand it if the
prospect of courting a woman made you more nervous, but I can assure you
the anatomical differences are minor when it comes to intimacy.”
Did the Captain think I was completely ignorant?
Did she think I would be inept at making love to a woman?! Coming
from her, Seven found the words irksome and responded
accordingly. “I am aware of the obvious anatomical differences
between females and males Captain.” Seven responded curtly.
“I meant no disrespect.” Janeway
swiftly countered, continuing to observe her protégé. The attitude was
obviously borne out of frustration with her lack of progress towards the
individual she was infatuated with more so than what Kathryn had
accidentally implied.
Still feeling somewhat defensive, Seven
calmly continued. “I know I must learn the various aspects of dating
and intimacy with regards to females and I intend to do so… on my
own."
“Oh I’m sure you can learn anything
Seven and subsequently do it quite well.” Kathryn’s deep cerulean
blue eyes explored the woman before her causing Seven to squirm a bit in
her chair under the scrutiny. “but you don’t have to do it alone.”
Seven’s heart rate sped up. “Why are
you saying?” She asked in a small voice.
“I’m saying there are ways to explore
your humanity,” the redhead began, “if you're willing. I may not be
able to help you emotionally, but…” Sipping the wine, Kathryn’s
mouth caressed the edge of the glass, her eyes never deviating from the
blonde’s. “Physically, I know I can.”
The blonde’s heart beat nearly doubled
in speed. "C…Captain?" Seven questioned abruptly. “I… I
do not understand.”
The older woman laughed in surprise,
expecting the confusion. "I can teach you what you want to
know." Her eyes floated over Seven's body. “about dating and
such.”
"Like what?" The young woman
asked nervously under Kathryn’s gaze.
"Whatever you wish. Did you know
that making love to a woman can be just as intense as being with a man?
Or more?” Janeway returned her appraisal to the now ashen face.
Seven watched stunned because Janeway
spoke as if from experience. The Captain also never looked at her
in such an obviously sexual manner before. The young woman’s face
flushed to a deep crimson once it dawned on her that the Captain was
actually propositioning her. Seven then began to panic. Everything was
moving way too fast for the ex-drone.
She stood up abruptly. "Captain,
perhaps I should leave."
"Have I made you
uncomfortable?"
"No, I have work to finish in
Astrometrics.” A necessary falsehood, Seven estimated.
"Forgive me for being so bold, it's
just that I care for you… as more than just a friend."
“Our lunch time has almost
expired." Seven needed another excuse. "And I do not wish to
make you late for duty." She added lamely.
"Nonsense, you’ve only been here a
few minutes. Besides I’m the Captain so we can be as late as we
want." Smirking, Janeway reached out and put her hand on Seven's
arm. The touch was warm; warmer than Seven ever remembered Janeway's
touches to be. Tingles reverberated all along her body, especially down
through her spine leading to the juncture between her legs. She tensed
up, not understanding her own body's responses. When she dated Chakotay,
her body had not responded this way; even when she kissed Axum, she had
not responded like this.
"You look a little pale."
Janeway frowned. "Is something wrong?
"No, I am... fine. But I… I really
should go." She stammered, weakly attempting to pull away, but
Janeway stood up, grasping the young woman's arms firmly.
"Seven," The Captain started.
"I think I know what is precipitating this fear. You're attracted
to me aren't you?" She asked quietly. “And it scares you.”
Severely damaging B'Elanna came to her
flustered mind. "How did you know!?" Seven babbled out.
Janeway put her hand on Seven's cheek.
"I've always known."
Seven was speechless. How
could she know how I felt, if I didn’t know until recently?!
"Haven't you ever wondered what it
would be like to touch someone intimately?" The back of her hand
stroked Seven’s face.
The blonde froze… mesmerized by the
heat generated on the surface of her skin by the unexpected touch.
"How it would feel?" Janeway
remarked softly, running her hand slowly down Seven's left arm before
reaching the implant hand, stroking it carefully causing small bumps to
rise up on her skin everywhere Janeway caressed.
“You must be curious about your
sexuality." Janeway asked seductively. "Haven't you ever
thought about what it would be like to kiss someone?"
The fine hairs on the blonde's arm began
to stand up straight. Coming to her senses, Seven responded. "I…
I have and it was not always as enjoyable as I was led to believe it
should be."
Janeway blinked, acknowledging that
perhaps it was Seven’s lack of experience in understanding that it
could have been who she was with instead of the act at fault.
"I'm talking about really kissing
someone that you love Seven, putting all you feel into the act, all that
you are."
Seven swallowed. "I have not
experienced that."
Janeway lifted her chin. "Then you
were not with the right person."
Lost in the moment, Seven could only
agree with Janeway by giving her a small nod.
"Perhaps what you need is a small
demonstration."
Eyes wide with anxiety and anticipation,
Seven watched astounded as the older woman moved in to press her lips
lightly against her own. The touch was delicate and tentative as Janeway
waited for acceptance. The blonde's body, so full of tension earlier,
slowly began to relax under Janeway's gentle lip massage.
Only the need for oxygen made Kathryn
break away to take a deep breath. Purposely, she leaned her forehead
against Seven's and the ex-Borg could feel Janeway's breath on her mouth
causing her to be overcome with a feeling she had never thought she
would experience. However, she could not pinpoint whether it was love or
lust, before Janeway kissed her again forestalling any attempts at
further analysis. On this second touch, Janeway gave into the desire and
molded her fine lips completely to Seven's. Reaching behind the blonde’s
head with one hand, Kathryn held her in place.
As her body became alive, heat spread
everywhere and the blonde lost herself in all that was Janeway.
Instinctually, Seven enfolded her arms around the smaller woman, pulling
her closer. Caught up in the sensations, she pressed into it, letting
out a small groan. Taking Seven's groan as a sign of acceptance, Kathryn
prodded her lips carefully with the tip of her tongue. With a newfound
desire, the blonde parted them voluntarily letting the older woman's
tongue easily slipped in-between full lips.
Gasping at the contact, Seven's body
caught on fire. Feeling such an intense euphoria coursing through her
was overwhelming, but she did not want it to stop. Upon hearing Janeway
moan, moisture seeped out from between her legs damping her biosuit.
When air, once again became an issue, the
prolonged contact of their moist tongues came to an abrupt end. Seven's
chest was heaving uncontrollably as she stared in awe into Janeway's
desire filled eyes.
The Captain smiled widely, grasping
Seven's hand. "Well, what do you think? You seemed to enjoy
that." She remarked, bringing up Seven's hand and pressing her lips
to the pulse point.
Seven's blood raced, but all she could do
was look dumbfounded into Kathryn's eyes. "I… feel the need...
for something… more."
“Of course you do.” She patted Seven’s
arm. “Come, follow me." The older woman gave Seven a feral grin
and dragged her out of the restaurant across the cobblestone street to a
fancy hotel next door. It was just as luxurious as the café setting
with beautifully broidered carpet and a large crystal chandelier hanging
from the cathedral ceiling in the main hall.
"Captain?!" Seven exclaimed
once she got her bearings.
"We're almost there." Janeway
led Seven up an elegantly designed spiral staircase and down a short
hallway until she reached a room. Quickly, she keyed in a code, pulled
Seven in passed the living room area and into the bedroom before
stopping before a King sized bed.
"This in my bedroom, exquisite isn't
it?"
Seven blushed hard. "Captain I do
not know if I --"
Janeway swung Seven around by the arm and
latched onto the blonde's full lips again ardently kissing her in a
sensual game of tongue tag, only to leave the young woman dazed and
wanton when she broke apart.
"This is your chance, Seven… Do
you want to experience intimacy? With me? Or do you want to conclude
this and forget the whole thing?"
Janeway walked her fingers enticingly up
Seven's arm causing more goose bumps to break out all along the fair
skin.
"Y-You… wish to copulate?!"
She asked feeling déjŕ vu. Heaving for air, Seven knew exactly what
she wanted to do, what her body was demanding she do, yet
something told her it wasn't supposed to be like this. She had not gone
through the proper courtship ritual and wasn't even on a date, thus
Seven had no idea what Janeway felt for her. Kathryn said she cared but
what did that mean exactly? Was her Captain in love with her or just
infatuated enough to want to copulate? Seven could hardly believe the
situation she found herself in and yet...
"Why not? I know you enjoyed kissing
me Seven. You're attracted to me and I'm attracted to you." Janeway
removed her command jacket swiftly, tossing it aside. She sat on the
edge of the bed and parted her legs. Grabbing hold of Seven's hips, she
brought the taller woman in-between her slim thighs.
Immensely distracted, Seven was in deep
contemplation, trying to find a logical reason to resist since her body
was not cooperating.
"You're not going to tell me you've
never thought about sex with me, are you?"
Seven sucked in a sharp breath not
comprehending why those words made her tingle all over. "I… I…"
Her vocal cords staggered.
"I can teach you everything you've
ever wanted to know about intimacy. I can show you the pleasure you've
been missing, Seven." The voice was soft and alluring.
Without consent or resistance, Janeway
started to carefully peel Seven's biosuit down. "You're so
beautiful… "
Carefully, she worked hard to peel the
tight fabric, inch by inch, ever lower. "…mind, body and spirit,
yet even with those things in perfect harmony… "
After the tips of the twin mounds bounced
free, the older woman licked her lips. "…you need love and I want
to be the one to teach you."
With two hands, Janeway engulfed each
mammary gland, relishing the fleshy pliability and size, thus proving
they were indeed ‘more’ than a handful.
“I want to be the one to teach you
passion!”
Shoving the suit down passed the blonde's
waist, she lifted her salivating mouth to fasten around a perked up
areola, sucking it into her mouth.
Engulfed between Kathryn's hot loins,
Seven couldn’t help but whimper as an exquisite tugging sensation
filled her chest, overpowering even her enhanced mental
abilities.
Still Seven tried to form words. “I…
I… fffeel."
"Then go with it." Janeway
whispered burying her face in Seven's mounds. “Let me love you.”
Abruptly, the internal debate ended.
"YES!" Seven squawked, instinctually running her fingers
through Janeway's fine auburn hair.
"Your wish is my command,"
Janeway dropped back onto the bed taking the larger woman down with her
while continuing to ravish the incredibly aroused young woman.
For the next few hours, Janeway showed
Seven the intricate pleasures of the flesh; all the erogenous zones, the
various ways to stimulate one another as well as a variety of pleasure
enhancing positions that increased sexual sensation exponentially.
Seven eagerly learned it all with an
energetic but tender Janeway and during the informative sexual
encounter, neither Chakotay nor Axum's name ever crossed her mind. For
the first time in her life, Seven experienced what she could only
describe as joy… It was so much more than mere copulation proving her
research had been flawed and inadequate. She marveled how many different
ways she could arrive at the pinnacle, the final threshold at which time
she couldn't help but arch her back and cry out the Captain's birth name
deliriously as a sudden tension filled her body to bursting. This is
an orgasm! The climax of a sexual joining. The intensity of it was
completely unexpected, yet now she understood what it felt like.
The explosion of sensation happened for
both of them and more than once during their heated encounter, but Seven
didn't mind at all. She was oblivious to any other consideration except
her partner and what they were doing to each other.
In her newfound euphoria, Seven was
completely surprised when she awoke to an empty bed with the silk sheets
thrown haphazardly around her body. Looking around, Janeway was nowhere
to be found. Then aghast Seven realized it was 16:15 by her internal
chronometer!? She was not only late for duty, her shift was over!?
"Computer, locate Captain Janeway."
"Captain Janeway is on the
Bridge."
Figuring the Captain let Seven sleep and
returned to active duty earlier, the blonde got dressed and was about to
leave the holodeck when she saw a piece of paper resting on the
nightstand with a type of scribbled archaic writing on it.
Seven pick it up and read it.
My dear golden angel, you are an
exquisite lover and a fast learner. I look forward to teaching you
more tricks of the trade. In the meantime, tell no one, I will
contact you when I'm available again.
Thanks for a memorable time, and
hoping for more.
Love Mme Kathryn.
Seven never felt so elated. I have
found my mate, she mused. Reluctantly putting the message down, she
ended the program and headed for Cargo Bay Two. Seven found herself
exhausted and in dire need of an extended regeneration cycle. Even with
her enhanced Borg systems, she was physically depleted, despite how
content and satisfied she was.
*****
Day Five, Midnight:
Lying restlessly in her double bed,
Captain Kathryn Janeway tried desperately to sleep, but it would not
come. It had been over thirty minutes since they ended their sexual
activity, so her body was relaxed. Why couldn't her mind follow?
Stop thinking about Seven, you're not
betraying her!? Go to sleep!
"Kathryn?" A voice next to her
called out.
"Hmm?"
"We need to talk."
"Now?" She asked exasperated.
"It's important."
"About?" She mumbled.
Jaffen sat up in the bed. "Something
is not right between us."
She opened her eyes but did not move.
"What's not right?"
"You've changed?"
"Have I?"
"Yes."
"I really need to get some sleep
Jaffen." Janeway asserted quickly. "Can’t we discuss this
tomorrow?"
"I need to discuss this now,"
he disputed. "We've had sex almost constantly the last few nights
and as wonderfully satisfying as it is, I have the distinct feeling that
something important is missing."
Exhausted from her recently concluded
sexual activities, Kathryn just wanted to sleep. She didn't want to
reflect on the ramifications of anything.
"What's missing?" She spoke
irritated.
"Do you… love me?" Jaffen
stated testing her.
"You want me to tell you that I love
you?" She was truly peeved at him now. Those were just words that
held no deeper meaning within her. Sometimes you couldn't always have
the one you professed to love. Why the big
deal?
"No! That's not all, but it is an
important part of a relationship don’t you think!? You want sex so
much I can hardly keep up and it's a bit rough from the way we used to
do it… lacking tenderness and passion."
“I didn’t hear you complaining at the
time.”
Jaffen blinked, astounded at her blunt
crassness and insensitivity.
“Jaffen, it is normal for a
relationship to go through periods of adjustment." Kathryn
rationalized.
"Periods of adjustment?!" He
rose his voice exasperated. "Oh I don’t think so. Does the name Annika
ring a bell?!" He asked disgruntled.
Janeway paled. "Why do you
ask?" She inquired in a small voice.
"Because tonight, you called out her
name as you reached climax, not mine!"
Kathryn became deathly silent. Oh my
god!! No… Janeway rolled over slightly and reluctantly looked into
his eyes with guilt laden ones.
"I'm so sorry… I never intended…
" Kathryn had fresh tears in her eyes at what she had done and
there was no denying the truth now. Although she hadn’t intended this,
Kathryn Janeway had fallen off the moral track.
"You used me?!" He stood up and
threw on his robe. "I know you care for me, Kathy, but even this is
beneath you. I should've known something was wrong. You wanted it so
much." His face reddened. "but you were just trying to forget
her. You weren't making love to me at all."
"I… " Her face turned bone
white. As a disciplined Starfleet Captain, she should have stopped this
before it got so out of hand, only Kathryn didn't know how to get
over Seven… did not know how to make peace with the idea that the
blonde was never going to be hers.
"You're not in love with me any
more, are you?" Jaffen's bereaved expression said it all.
"You're in love with her!"
"Oh Jaffen… I'm not the Kathryn
Janeway who fell in love with you," she declared honestly.
“I refuse to believe that!” Angry
eyes glared at her.
“It’s true,” she told him quietly.
He stewed under the words, but tempered
his reply. “So why aren't you two together then?” His tone was firm
but less severe. "I don't remember you introducing me to any of
your crew with that name."
She turned to Jaffen with regret.
"You've met her." Janeway spoke under her breath, the shame
eating away at her gut.
He waved his hand dismissively. "It
doesn’t matter. It's obvious I'm too late. She's captured your
heart." Despite his own pain, he pitied her. “Let me give you a
piece of free advice, Kathy. Drowning your pain in sex without love will
only harden your heart in the long run." He tightened the robe
around his waist, shaking his head. "Goodnight," He stated
tersely before heading back to the VIP quest quarters for the night,
leaving Kathryn Janeway all alone to face her internal demons.
*****
Day Six:
Janeway slept horribly and to make
matters worse, woke up late. When the alarm sounded informing her that
she had only 15 minutes before she would be late for duty, she yelled at
the computer to shut up.
Flinging the bed covers off, Kathryn
trudged into the ensuite to take a quick shower. After finishing, she
came back out, got dressed and found her uniform jacket in the living
room. About to leave her quarters, she sighed deeply noticing a missing
pip, then the chime to her quarters sounded just as she started looking
for it. Grumbling to herself, Janeway gave a quick verbal command
allowing whomever it was to enter.
Jaffen walked in and finding the Captain
kneeling down perusing under a couch, he stood patiently waiting.
"Missing something?" He asked curiously.
Hearing his voice, Kathryn craned her
neck around to look at him, culpability still clearly etched into her
grey eyes. "Yes, a pip." She replied softly.
"I think I heard it go under
here." He pointed to the other section of her sofa.
"How do you know that?"
"That's where I thought I saw it
bounce off the carpet when we were… " his face blushed a pinkish
tint as he remembered the previous evening’s activity. "…I mean
when you were frantically trying to remove your jacket last night."
Standing up, Janeway immediately
remembered how it happened. "Jaffen, I have no excuse for what I
did to you."
"I know," he answered kneeling
down to look for it. "and I’m not going to lie by saying I’m
not hurt or angry about it."
She rubbed her hands together thinking
how she would have felt if the situation was reversed. "You have
every right to be."
Finding the small round pip, he stood up.
"Maybe," he conceded.
"I don't know if I'd be so
forgiving."
"It's funny the things you can
forgive when you really love someone." His voice became thick as he
presented the pip to her.
“Would you do the honors?” She
replied lightly.
“Of course,” He proceeded to affix it
to her collar.
Inside Janeway cringed from guilt. She
didn't deserve his compassion and was about to say something to that
effect when a chime sounded at her door.
"Come!" Janeway called out with
irritation at the interruption.
As he finished fastening the pip to her
collar, Janeway whispered to him. "I do love you Jaffen." Then
she clasped his hands between her own for one brief moment until he
cleared his throat to signify that they were no longer alone.
Seven of Nine walked towards them her ice
blue eyes widening in disbelief with each step. "I… "
The blonde suddenly blinked, her brow creased severely. "I did not
mean to intrude, I will come back later."
"Seven?" Not realizing that it
was her protégé that entered, Janeway looked up blushing.
"What can I do for you?"
"You are… obviously busy and it is
not important. I will return when it is more convenient." Seven
responded hastily moving quickly to leave.
"Wait, Seven!" but it was too
late, the young woman had already scooted out past the closing door.
"Damn, I know she heard me."
Janeway muttered to herself. She would just have to try and make time
after her duty shift to see what Seven wanted.
After some speculation, Jaffen recognized
the blonde. "She was the efficiency monitor at the power
plant," then it dawned on him. "It's her you're in love
with! She’s Annika Hansen."
Janeway closed her eyes to a headache
that was fast approaching.
"This all makes sense now." He
remarked confidently. "You can't have her because she already has
two men courting her."
"I'd rather not discuss it."
"You've never told her how you feel,
have you?"
"No," came the quiet reply.
"Why? Because you don't think she
would reciprocate?"
Janeway gave him a wounded look.
"Does it matter?"
Jaffen stayed silent, realizing by the
sudden change in her demeanor that this was a delicate issue.
After gaining her composure back, she
asked him the inevitable question. "When are you leaving?"
"I haven't decided that I am."
He responded smugly.
Janeway took that as a statement meant
for her as a woman, not as a Captain. Otherwise… "I don't want
you to think you're not welcome here, but in light of how I feel it
would seem… a mistake when you could have so much more on Quarran."
“I know,” he said with regret.
*****
Your love never was and
never will be
Just an Act of self
indulgence to have me
I gave you everything,
And reaching for your
heart,
Received nothing
Upon arriving in Cargo Bay Two, Seven
quickly locked the area down with Borg encryption codes before letting
the flood gates open on her reserve. Plopping down on the cold hard dais
in front on her alcove, she cried in disbelief over what she had heard.
"--love you Jaffen." Whispered
words that destroyed everything. Why?! Why would the Captain be
intimate with me if she was in love with him!? She thought angrily.
Thinking back to what she had seen,
Seven, still in disbelief could not fathom what she witnessed as her
eidetic mind played back the images in perfect clarity. Jaffen had been
pinning a pip to Janeway’s collar, something Seven had the pleasure of
doing only once, believing it to be a special privilege at the time, a
shared intimacy that helped to bond them as friends. Yet now, it
bothered her that Kathryn had allowed him to do it also, and then there
was the clutching of his hands in-between Janeway’s tender palms. The
Captain had never clutched her hands that way while professing her love!
The audacity?! And what was he doing in her
quarters so early in the morning in the first place?! It
didn’t take long for Seven’s mind to think the worst. Because
they copulated!! And they probably copulate on a regular basis!!
Overwhelmed with jealousy, Seven stood up
rapidly, chest heaving with wet tears staining her rose colored cheeks.
She had been taken advantage of by her closest, most cherished friend.
Enraged, Seven started pacing up and down the length of the Cargo bay.
In her rapid stride to vent what she felt, she passed the alcoves four
consecutive times, but the expenditure of energy only increased her
vexation. Her rage was so acute, the betrayal so deep, that the anger
had no where to go as it recoiled within her, sending her cortical node
bristling with acrimony.
If only I had never been Borg!
Her trembling fists clenched tightly
together.
This never would have happened if the
Borg never assimilated me. If I had been human from the start, I would
have functioned like a normal individual and I would be more acceptable
to my crewmates. Then I would take a mate, one who could love me in
return…
Perhaps even… Kathryn…
Yet even with all her wishing, Seven
couldn't escape the reality.
BUT I AM BORG!! I will always be Borg!!
Her momentum halted. Turning her head,
narrow eyes full of blame landed on the metal construct with utter
contempt.
I am insufficient and not worthy of her
love, that is why she has chosen him!!
Feeling as if her world had collapsed,
Seven snapped. Her Borg enhanced fist smacked into the side panel
causing it to explode, sending sparks flying into the air. Having no
restraint left, she hit it over and over with all her strength until a
dozen strikes later left her mesh hand, damaged and bleeding along with
one non-functioning alcove now in numerous pieces.
Seven hadn't realized the extent of the
violence she was unleashing until she felt the sharp throbbing in her
hand. Attempting to move her fingers only caused her to hiss in
discomfort. Casting a glance at her meshed appendage, she surveyed the
damage knowing the nanoprobes would repair it soon enough. This must
be rage, Seven estimated as she heaved for a fresh breath of air.
Another human lesson she would rather not have to experience.
It took awhile before Seven calmed down
enough to clean up. Picking up the stray pieces, she tossed them onto
the damaged alcove's dais then pushed a large storage container in front
of it. She had no intentions of having to explain this to the
Captain. The blonde had enough humiliation for one day and didn't want
anyone noticing the damage for now.
How could I let all this happen?
Thinking back, Seven wondered why Jaffen’s
initial arrival didn’t affect her more. She only started resenting him
after witnessing the kiss in the Mess Hall. In her youth and ignorance,
the blonde had not realized the depth of her own feelings towards her
Captain until that very incident. It was as if, she had been blind and
now could see.
If only I could have realized all this sooner! Seven
now thought she understood love, jealousy and betrayal. I
have made a grievous error.
Finding love was not the height of being,
Seven realized. No, as important as love was, it made one vulnerable and
fragile. It was having that love returned that made one feel truly
special. Something she did not have and with that came the painful
lesson.
Not normally known for rash decisions,
Seven, never the less, made one swiftly. With a renewed determination,
she briskly walked to the transporter room and beamed over to the Borg
scout ship quickly finding Axum in the makeshift Mess Hall without any
assistance.
"Annika!" He motioned her over
to his table to join him and Laura.
"I need to speak with you,” she
insisted, her tone severe. “alone."
"I'll be back in a minute." He
offered to his breakfast companion.
"Of course," she replied
glaring at Seven as they walked away together.
As soon as they went around the corner of
the main entrance, Seven wasted no time giving him the update.
"I wish to go with you." She
stated concisely.
Momentarily stunned, Axum couldn’t
think of what to say.
"Axum?"
"I heard you. I just… didn't expect you to
make a decision so soon." And not in
my favor…
"I have decided that Voyager is no
longer suitable for my needs. My reason for staying…" A feeling
of loss suddenly hit her making her appear visibly distraught. "…
is no longer valid."
"Hey, come here." Axum sensed
her distress and wrapped his arms around her. "If you need more
time.--"
"No," Seven asserted. "I
wish to join your diverse collective. I want to come with
you."
"I love you Annika." Axum
stated joyfully, holding her close. "In time, I hope you'll come to
remember that."
"I know," she stated with
little emotion. “but… even if I do not we will build new memories.”
She added optimistically for his benefit.
He cupped her cheek, kissing her
passionately and Seven allowed the intimacy despite not being in the
mood as her nerves were on edge, a jumbled mess. Thankfully her lack of
participation seemed to go unnoticed. Pulling back from his embrace, she
asked. "How far are we from the planet?"
"Once we plot in a course… around
10 hours I believe."
"That is sooner than I thought." Seven
commented quietly pleased. The sooner the
better.
"We're not really in a hurry, but
now that you’re coming with us, we can leave as soon as you’re ready…
but I suspect you’ll want to inform Captain Janeway of your decision
and say goodbye to your crewmates first."
Seven tried to hide the trepidation.
"I will say goodbye… to some of them." She broke his embrace
to regard him. "Please do not tell anyone, I will take care of
announcing my departure."
"I won't."
"I will see you later."
After she took her leave, Axum went back
to the breakfast table with a wide grin on his face.
"She's agreed to come with me."
Axum excitedly told Laura as he sat down.
Laura's eyes twinkled.
*****
Seven couldn't have been more grateful
for not having bridge duty. After what happened, even just seeing the
Captain, would be painful and she wasn’t sure she could pretend as if
nothing happened. A heated altercation was extremely possible, so the
young woman made every effort to avoid the Captain.
Walking along the hallway, Seven now
understood why Chakotay had spoken such colorful metaphors to her when
she broke up with him to pursue another male. There was something
inherently cold and calculating about her actions despite the fact that
she had not lied to him. Even in her ignorance, she was unfaithful and
her words, although truthful, could not change the outcome. He had every
right to be angry with her, like just Seven was furious with Janeway.